Wen | snow fell without dust
Sanmao said: "No matter how close friends are, they cannot be lost, they think they are familiar, and the result is regurgitation and isolation." ”
The distance of friends is like two railroad tracks leading to the distance, there is the joy of occasionally meeting, and there is the calmness of going alone.
Friends get along, like two hedgehogs who only need warmth, too far away will be lonely, too close will hurt.
Standing in the right place, we can appreciate each other. Find the right way to get along for a long time.
Mutual respect is the cornerstone of innocent friendship.
Between people, take the "three measures" well, and the relationship can get better and better.
01
When friends get along, you must have a sense of boundaries
Some things are not as thick as possible, deep words shallow to say, long road slowly, just right.
The same is true of friends getting along.
The ancients said: "Deep love does not live, but wisdom will hurt." ”
The gist is that if you are too attached to a relationship and use your feelings deeply, you will hurt yourself; people who are too intelligent are easy to see through people's feelings and sophistication, and they are more likely to be hurt than ordinary people.
No matter how good the friendship relationship is, you can trust it, but you must have a sense of boundaries, and you must not dig your heart and lungs. Friends are not tired of getting along, in order to be able to stay for a long time.
Xiao Xiao has a good friend Xiao Wei, who talked about a boyfriend after graduating from college, but this man is really bad.
Three days of changing jobs at both ends, spending a lot of money, and lying that he wanted to participate in training to improve his academic qualifications, and asked Xiaowei to pay him training fees.
Xiao Xiao really couldn't look at it anymore, so he joined the army that hindered Xiao Wei and the boy from continuing to communicate. Every day, help Xiaowei analyze the character of her boyfriend and the pros and cons of continuing to communicate.
However, I did not expect that Xiaowei and her boyfriend actually talked about marriage and married, and did not take the words of laughter seriously.
Smiling and feeling embarrassed, I don't know how to face my friend's boyfriend, and my good friend is not as inseparable as before, and I don't have anything to say.
Laughing and laughing unintentionally crossed the line, it turned out to be a "sharp sword" to stifle the love of girlfriends.
Many times, "being good for her" becomes an insurmountable gap between you and your friends.
The more good friends, the more they must have a "sense of boundaries", and without a big package of self-assertions, there will be no future strangeness.
Just like Tang Jing and Luo Zijun in "The First Half of My Life", the love of girlfriends for many years is because they have broken through boundaries, and there is no secret and privacy. What was originally a friendship that everyone envied eventually drifted away because of a man.
Getting along with friends and keeping the "sense of boundaries" is to respect the privacy of friends and protect themselves.
Keeping the "sense of boundaries" also holds the longer friendship.
02
When friends get along, don't bother with each other
There is a saying in the "Awakening to the World": "There is no feast under the heavens that will not be scattered, and it will be closed for a thousand years, and there must be a separate day." ”
The distance between friends can be far or near, and when you think of it, you add joy to it, and you remember more tenderness in time.
True friends must not bother each other but think of each other.
A netizen on the Internet said that he used to have a good girlfriend, and the relationship between the two was so good that they didn't say anything, no matter what they did, the two people were together.
On weekends, whenever we rest, we will make an appointment to go shopping, eat, and watch movies with each other. If you have any secrets, you can't wait to tell each other.
Eager to be with girlfriends 24 hours a day, colleagues envy their friendship.
However, slowly she discovered that her girlfriend had become estranged from her, and sometimes deliberately avoided her.
At first, she wondered, "What's wrong with my girlfriend?" What am I doing wrong? ”
Later, through others, I learned that my girlfriend felt that she had no private space and was somewhat depressed.
Since then, she has never looked for a girlfriend, and so has the girlfriend. Until now, the two have not been in touch for three years.
The original intimate relationship can't help but be frequently disturbed.
Sometimes, the highest state of friendship is not to disturb each other.
The guest of one episode of "Yearning for Life" is Xu Weizhou.
When everyone sat together and talked about friends, Xu Weizhou said that he rarely talked to others about a friend: Peng Yuchang.
The two have a deep relationship, often traveling together, hot pot together, and K songs together, but only a few fans know.
Xu Weizhou said: "As long as friends know each other in their hearts and have each other, there is no need to hang on their lips every day." ”
True mature friendship is silently remembered in the heart, true friends, usually each other is safe, do not disturb each other, there must be something to do, meet must be extremely sincere.
Flowers will bloom often, and the moon will grow round, but people will not last long.
Adult friendship, not disturbing is my tenderness.
03
When friends get along, you must know how to respect
Writer Bi Shumin said: "Friends should heal each other, not to uncover each other's scars." ”
Between friends, the most important thing is respect, when the other party has grievances or unspeakable secrets, quiet companionship, comfort is good.
There is a program in "Readers", Xu Jinglei touched the scene and remembered her grandmother who died, and she cried uncontrollably at the scene.
Xu Jinglei admitted that her life has changed a lot because of the death of her grandmother, and she did not even go to her brother's wedding.
When Xu Jinglei talked about the death of her grandmother, her emotions collapsed in an instant, and she burst into tears uncontrollably.
At this time, if Dong Qing asks questions while it is hot, let Xu Jinglei tell more touching stories with her grandmother, ratings
It's bound to go high.
However, Dong Qing went directly to the next topic, calming the sad Xu Jinglei and lovingly reading "Grandma's Stars". Later, Xu Jinglei and Dong Qing became very good friends.
The best respect is not to dig into the roots, not to dig deep into the story behind the tears.
The best way to comfort is to wait for Xu Jinglei to slowly calm herself.
Dong Qing and Xu Jinglei become friends and gain friendship, which is her respect for friends: do not mention each other's sadness
Thing, tear apart the pain. This is also the most admirable place for Dong Qing.
Psychological research has shown that people have both a desire for intimacy and a need for security and independence. Therefore, when making friends, we must grasp the scale and grasp the sense of proportion.
The best sense of proportion is to know how to respect friends, do not ask about pain, and wait by your side.
The most precious friendship must be to treat each other sincerely, respect each other, not tout, not to denigrate.
The exchange is not frequent, the original intention is unchanged; the exchange is intimate, and the heart is imprinted.
Friendship is a blessing cultivated in this life, and the friendship of mutual respect is long-lasting.
Friends who respect each other will always stay in their hearts.
04
Interacting with people, losing the "three measures", and turning the other cheek is only a matter of time
As the saying goes: "The road knows the horsepower, and the day sees the hearts of the people." ”
Even the most intimate relationship needs to be relaxed and measured, and it is timely to grasp the measure.
Getting along with people is an art, and the most comfortable way to get along with friends is: get along casually, unrestrained,
Hearts are interconnected, mutually appreciative, and the three views are in harmony.
The meaning of friends, perhaps, lies in the fact that when we are together, we walk side by side; when we are alone, we are busy with each other.
Remember each other, and don't step into each other's world too much, leaving enough space for each other.
Only in this way will two like-minded souls meet each other and look at each other tirelessly.
For the rest of his life, there is a fate for gathering and dispersing; shallow joy, light coexistence, gentleman's friendship, familiarity is not excessive.