The reason is very simple, with a bad personality, you will do bad things, there will be bad luck, there will be bad results. From this level, cultivating the child's good character also builds the child's quality life, changes the defects in the child's personality, that is, changes the child's future.
1, if the parents are negative, how can the child be sunny
In our lives, there are both sunny and dark sides, and the key lies in how a person correctly understands them. Some parents ignore positive education in their children's education, and they will unconsciously instill some negative things into their children in their speech and behavior. If someone encounters some unhappiness at work, they will see society and interpersonal relations as a mess, and think that this is not satisfactory, it is not smooth. Using gray psychology to smoke children, affect children, so that children who should feel the sun and beauty, young hearts are slowly overshadowed. Children who grow up in this family environment are mostly introverted, melancholy and suspicious, and not open-minded enough.
For children, appreciating others is an affirmation, an understanding, and a respect for others; appreciating others is both a kind of giving, a kind of communication, and a blessing. We should let our children understand that you have given praise, which will not only not damage your self-esteem, but will also gain friendship and cooperation. At the same time, appreciating others is also a kind of personality cultivation. The process of praising others is actually the process of correcting one's own narrowness and selfishness.
Christmas is approaching, and the town of Park Ridge in the northwest suburbs of Chicago is full of festive and warm holiday atmosphere.
Sherry, who is in middle school, holds a pile of Christmas cards she received not long ago, intending to show off in front of her best friend Hillary. Who knew that Hillary had brought out ten times more Christmas cards than she did, "How come you have so many friends?" Is there a trick to this? Shelly asked in amazement. So Hillary told the following story:
One warm noon, my dad and I were walking in a suburban park. There, I saw an old lady with a very funny look. It was so warm, but she was tightly wrapped in a thick cashmere coat and a fur scarf around her neck, as if it were snowing in the sky. I gently tugged at My father's arm and said, "Daddy, how ridiculous you look at that old lady." Dad's expression was particularly serious at the time. He was silent for a moment and said, "Hillary, I suddenly found that you lack a skill, you don't appreciate others. This proves that you lack a sincerity and kindness in your dealings with others. Dad then said, "The old lady was wearing a coat and a scarf, maybe she had just recovered from a serious illness and was not feeling well. But you look at her expression, she looks at a fragrant, beautiful lilac flower on the branch, the expression is so vivid, don't you think it's cute? She longs for spring and loves the beautiful nature, what a wonderful feeling! ”
Dad led me to the old lady, smiled and said, "Madam, your appreciation of spring is really touching, you have made spring even better!" ”
The old lady seemed agitated: "Thank you, thank you!" Mr. As she spoke, she took a small bag of cookies from her bag and handed it to me: "You are so beautiful..."
Afterwards, dad said to me, "We must learn to sincerely appreciate others, because everyone has merits that are worthy of our appreciation." When you do, you'll gain a lot of friends. "If a person only appreciates himself and cannot find the advantages of others, it seems that isolating others is actually isolating himself; seemingly raising his own value is actually degrading his own personality." People who do not appreciate others often do not get the same feedback from others and lose many opportunities for mutual encouragement; people who do not appreciate others are emotionally difficult to get closer to others and cannot obtain help and friendship from others; people who do not appreciate others cannot feel the truth, goodness and beauty of the world, and their hearts are easily shrouded by some bad emotions.
If we want our children to become sunshine babies, parents must first have a sunshine mentality. Pay attention to the positive guidance and education of children, so that children can see more positive things in life, see more advantages and achievements of others, put themselves in the shoes of others, and look at the things around them with a healthy attitude.
Xinxin wanted to participate in the "I see traffic police" essay contest, she said to her father: "What is good about the traffic police, I saw a traffic policeman on the road pushing and shoving tricycle workers." "Dad thinks the child is telling the truth, but this is an isolated phenomenon after all. In order to let the child correctly understand the traffic police and write the shining point of the traffic police, he consciously guides the child to observe the traffic police around him on the way to and from school, so that the child can see how the traffic police stick to their posts and maintain traffic order in the hot sun or wind and rain. Xinxin quickly completed the composition, in the process, she was educated and inspired, and slowly learned to treat others with a correct and objective attitude, tolerance and kindness. To create a happy life, a healthy, positive attitude is the primary condition. Children's hearts need sunshine, and parents should guide them to see everything around them with a healthy mindset.
2, always give special status, children are self-respecting
Most of today's children will have such a situation, that is, everything is self-centered, whether it is parents, teachers or peers, they must revolve around themselves, and they always like to say: "How am I..." That is, no matter what things, they use "I" as the main language. Such a child, if the parents are not good at education and induction, when the child grows up, he will form a solipsistic personality.
Some parents worry that their children are too "alone", they only think about themselves and do not care about others. Such a personality is no problem in front of parents, but when they go to school and society, how can they get along harmoniously with people! Children's self-centered habits are indeed a problem, and if left unchecked, it will inevitably affect the child's future development. Parents should therefore take measures to resolutely correct their children's self-centered habits.
Yue Yue is the only child in the family and is deeply loved by her parents. From a very young age, all the people in the family will invariably leave delicious and fun things for The Moon and the Moon, and the Moon and Moon will gradually become very "exclusive". Once, my father was late from work, he was so hungry, after entering the house and sitting down, he picked up the Wafer cake of the moon and ate it. Because these cookies have been bought for a long time, Yue Yue does not like to eat them at all. However, Yue Yue immediately lost his temper after seeing his father eat his biscuits, asked his father to return the biscuits to him, and even reached out to grab them in his father's mouth, although his father repeatedly said that he would buy him more the next day, but he still could not convince Yue Yue, he not only cried, but also lay on the ground rolling, not to be spared. In the end, it was dad who said to take him to eat KFC, which stopped Yue Yue's crying.
The toys of the moon and moon are not touched by others at all, the kindergarten children have just come to play, seeing that the antenna baby of the moon is very fun, they can't help but touch it with their hands, and say to the moon moon: "Your antenna baby is so good!" In the process of speaking, his eyes revealed his love for the teletubbies, just how much he wanted to play for a while. However, Yue Yue hid the antenna baby very angrily, and said to just now: "This is what my father bought for me to play, you go home and let your father buy it for you!" "In life, it is not uncommon for children like this to be self-centered in everything they do, and they don't care about others, even their own parents. When encountering this situation, parents must pay attention to the fact that they must not indulge this psychology of their children, otherwise the child will completely become a selfish person, and such a child is useless even if he is smart, because a person cannot survive independently in society, he must cooperate with people, and such a child will not be welcome wherever he goes.
So what exactly should parents do?
First of all, parents should not give their children a special status, but should let their children know that they are equal to other members of the family, and they should resolutely refuse their children's willful and unreasonable requirements in order to eliminate the child's "self-centered" consciousness. Parents can make their children understand in various ways that everything in the world needs to be shared and shared, and make them understand that they should always care about others, and cannot let their children develop with self-centered psychology. At the same time, educate children to understand the principle of sharing for fun and exclusive enjoyment, and help children establish a sense of community, which can gradually reduce children's self-centered behavior.
Second, parents should not give their children too much attention. There is a mother who loves her child so much that she focuses all her attention on the child, "Baby don't run around!" "Baby, you didn't fall, did you?" "Baby, mommy help you button up!" ...... As a result, this child is becoming more and more willful and more and more difficult to manage.
Educators believe that if the child is in a central position in the family from an early age, and the parents pay too much attention, then the child will not realize that he is already an adult when he grows up, but will still show a strong dependence on the parents. Only think about themselves, not consider others, only interested in their own beneficial things, and do not care about other things at all, so when parents encounter their children's monopoly, robbing others of other people's things, they should reflect on their own education methods, giving children too much attention is unnecessary, parents should try to make children feel that they are equal with other family members.
Finally, in daily life, parents should intentionally create opportunities for their children to interact with their peers, and teach children to learn to share, such as when the child eats, teach him to share with other children; when he has fun toys, teach him to play with other children will be more interesting. Parents are best to guide children to play with children older than him, so that older children can not only properly lead and take care of him, but also cultivate the awareness of friendly cooperation between children and partners, educate children to learn the strengths of partners with an open mind, respect the opinions of others, cherish the friendship with small partners, and do not impose their own ideas on others, so that they can stop some of his "self-centered" behavior. Parents help children jump out of the narrow circle, guide children to put themselves in the shoes of others, seek to understand others, and teach children to respect, care, and help others.
If parents do not give their children a special position in the family, then the children will not be self-centered in everything, so to correct this bad psychology of children, parents must start from themselves.
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