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What is the meaning of life? What is the value of life? This is a question pondered by countless literati and philosophers throughout the ages. In addition to chai, rice, oil, salt, food, clothing, shelter, and transportation, do people have anything else to pursue in this world?
We revere Confucianism and Buddhism, and we are eager to seek the meaning of our coming to this world in the chaotic world, but in the end we still can't escape many obstacles. Some people seek supreme rights, some people climb the mountain of wealth, they think they have found a goal that they can pursue all their lives, but when they look back, they find that they have missed many beautiful scenery along the way.
So what is the meaning of human life? Lou Tao, a female doctor at Peking University, gave us the answer with her short life.
1. The death of Dr. Peking University
In January 2018, Lou Tao, a 30-year-old doctor at Peking University, left this world peacefully in his hometown of Enshi, Hubei Province. The family followed her will to take the funeral from Jane, cremated her body and scattered it into the river, hoping that this free girl could live a carefree and unfettered life in another world.
Frostbite took her life, but it could never crush her powerful heart. In this world, except for her parents, she has no worries, leaving the fireworks world at the age of 30, perhaps for others to complain more about the unfairness of fate, but for Lou Tao is enough.
If people are meaningless and live empty, they will live to be 3,000 years old, but they will not be walking dead. Therefore, she left people with a sentence distilled over thirty years: "The meaning of human life should be measured by the quality and thickness of life." ”
It is difficult to imagine that this is from the mouth of a young girl, how many people exhaust their lives may not be able to have a sense of life, perhaps as people say, when a person has experienced life and death, lows, tribulations will be transformed, will change qualitatively.
When Lou Tao said this, it was the second year of her doctorate, and she got up early as usual. People say: "Junior high school is bitter, high school is tired, college is fragrant and crisp", but in Lou Tao's view, hard study is the attitude that every student should have, no matter what stage you are in, you should have a sense of awe and humbly seek advice.
Today's getting up was a bit difficult, Lou Tao felt that his limbs were weak and he obviously felt the stiffness of his body when he got out of bed and walked. She didn't care, and after a simple activity, she packed up her things and continued to study.
It seems that everyone is like this, always feeling that accidents and illnesses are other people's businesses and will never come to them.
As the days passed, Lou Tao's problem of walking became more and more serious. At first, she thought that she might not sleep well at night or sleep in the wrong position, but no matter how she adjusted herself, the situation never got better.
Realizing that the matter was somewhat serious, Lou Tao went to Peking Union Medical College Hospital for a comprehensive examination. The doctor did not confirm her diagnosis for a while when she got her test report, because all her indicators were normal.
Union Hospital immediately held an expert consultation to conduct in-depth discussion and research on Lou Tao's test results and physiological performance, and finally diagnosed Lou Tao as a patient with "frostbite".
This sunny thunderbolt fell on Lou Tao's body, and she couldn't believe or accept this cruel fact. My wish to become a historian has not yet been fulfilled, and I have not yet fulfilled my filial piety for my beloved parents, so what will I do in the future? How long can I live?
A series of unknown problems seem to be more terrifying than the three words "frostbite", and the heavenly calamity has made Lou Tao, who had a bright future, look dark in front of her eyes, and she can no longer be as determined as before. Fear and confusion wrapped her tightly around her, and this time she was really dazed.
This repressive feeling lasted for an unknown amount of time, and the spirit of struggle that had been precipitated over the years saved her from the loss of her soul. Lou Tao tried hard to calm herself down, she knew that her panic would only immerse her parents in pain, the matter was over, the superfluous thoughts would not help, all she could do was to cooperate with the treatment and minimize the increased pain of her family and friends because of her.
Lou Tao's parents rushed to Beijing to take care of their daughter when they heard the news, and they could not accept that Lou Tao, who had been obedient and sensible since childhood, and did not need to worry about himself in all aspects, would get this strange disease.
Are there no good rewards for the good people in this world? The husband and wife secretly resolved to keep their daughter's life even if the family was ruined and the wealth was sold.
But they do not know that this "frostbite" is incurable at the current level of medical treatment, and it is extremely fortunate to be able to suppress the development of the disease under the control of drugs. All others can do is hope that this luck will come to Lou Tao's body.
Second, Lou Tao will never give in
It has been some time since Lou Tao was diagnosed, and in stark contrast to the increasingly serious condition, her optimistic attitude seems to make people talk about "frostbite" at all. Instead of pretending to be indifferent to comfort her parents, she had to accept herself as she was seriously ill.
Knowing that she could not be cured, Lou Tao dialed her boyfriend's phone, and she hid her illness from her boyfriend and proposed to break up.
Lou Tao told her boyfriend that he had another person he liked, and from then on, he would never contact him again. The phone hung up, Lou Tao had tears in her eyes, but a smile on the corner of her mouth, she personally cut off the most indescribable love in the world, leaving the cruel truth to herself.
After that, Lou Tao was fighting against the disease every day, and she cherished every day of her life even more, even if the next second the disease would take her life, at least this second Lou Tao did not waste. The reading habits she developed since childhood made her life inseparable from books, but her arms were like a million pounds, so that she could only complete the simple action of turning the book with difficulty.
Later, "frostbite" really showed its power, and Lou Tao was completely "frozen" on the bed, and all the things she wanted to do and did not want to do depended entirely on others.
But even so, Lou Tao still did not give up reading, she expressed her request to her parents, since she can't read books, then listen to books.
In this way, Lou Tao listened to 60 Chinese and foreign masterpieces on the hospital bed, and although the disease imprisoned her body, it could not restrict her from swimming in the spiritual world. The ruthless illness seems to have discovered the secret of Lou Tao's ability to compete with him, and he drives a more powerful "legion" to attack the poor girl.
The emaciated Lou Tao could no longer withstand the rampant ravages of the disease, and even eating and drinking became a problem. But the disease that had the upper hand did not intend to stop at all, it wanted to defeat the strong-willed Lou Tao in one fell swoop to show its means to mankind.
Lou Tao could not even breathe on his own and was immediately transferred to the intensive care unit. She didn't know if she was still alive, but in the haze she seemed to see countless familiar faces, roommates who lived day and night, mentors who taught her, and parents who looked forward to her recovery.
She tried to break through the void and return to her parents' arms, but in the blink of an eye, the evil devil's vicious smile appeared in front of her.
Lou Tao's unwilling and unyielding spirit fought with the disease. She could leave, but she would never passively compromise, the strong vitality was once again filled with Lou Tao's weak body, she opened her eyes, looked at the anxious faces of her family and smiled heartily, it seemed that this time she had won again.
Although Lou Tao survived this time, the situation of his body was still not optimistic. She knew that her time was short, and instead of lying in the intensive care unit and relying on a ventilator for the rest of her life, she would die with more dignity. What's more, this disease does not know when it will strike again, and it can kill itself at any time.
Lou Tao wanted to take the initiative into her own hands, so she called the nurse on duty and dictated her suicide note. Although the speech is not clear, every word seems to come from the depths of the soul, giving people a firm strength.
In her suicide note, she hopes to donate all the organs she can use, and leave her brain to researchers for research. Even if you die, you must do your last part and never let the "frostbite" act arbitrarily.
The ceremony after death does not need to be done in a big way, and the remaining remains are cremated and directly thrown into the river, so that the flowing river water carries you to appreciate the magnificent mountains and rivers that you did not have time to appreciate before you died.
After the suicide note was sorted out, Lou Tao did not ask for anything more. She begged her parents to let her leave with dignity and not to have to struggle in vain. And the last wish is to return to my hometown, to the place where I was born and raised.
During the hospitalization, Lou Tao refused all her classmates and friends to visit, and she did not want to bring negative influence to others. After coming to this world for more than thirty years, she was grateful for all the encounters, grateful for all her partners, and now she just wanted to walk quietly, no longer affecting the grass and trees of this world, just as she had come to this world unconsciously.
The couple understands their daughter's disposition, and they do not want her to be tortured again in the last moments of their lives, so they take Lou Tao back to Enshi's hometown. The family reunited again in a special way, and Lou Tao gradually disappeared from people's vision.
Lying on this familiar bed, Lou Tao had a lot of thoughts. It was here that she set herself the ambition to become a historian, and it was here that she began her dreams and faraways. Closing her eyes, she seemed to go back to where she had been, back to where she had been.
Third, memories of the past
Born in 1988, Lou Tao has a cheerful, enthusiastic and generous personality since childhood, and is deeply loved by her neighbors. But she is not like the pampered and proud little princess who can't lift her hands and shoulders, as long as it is the housework she can do, she will help her mother to do.
After going to school, Lou Tao showed amazing learning ability, she had self-discipline that was difficult for her peers to match, she never needed to be supervised by her family to write homework, and even she was always able to complete her homework in advance and read her favorite historical allusions in her free time. It was also from that time that she began to ignite the flame of pursuing a major in history.
As Lou Tao's age increases, more and more subjects and exercises need to be learned. In order to be admitted to her ideal university, she always gets up at dawn to study, and every night she insists on self-study until one o'clock in the morning. Without the supervision of teachers and the persecution of his parents, Lou Tao completely consciously wanted to take his fate into his own hands.
The kung fu paid off, and Lou Tao got the admission letter of the Central University for Nationalities with a stable performance during the college entrance examination, and this time, she chose her favorite history major as she wished.
Throughout the university, Lou Tao did not degenerate herself because of the relaxed learning environment, on the contrary, on the platform of the university, she felt that she could learn more and deeper.
It is precisely because of her continuous learning and accumulation that she has the honor of becoming a volunteer in the 2008 Olympic Games. Looking at Lou Tao, who was full of English and answered with foreign friends, the students cast envious eyes, which is purely the children of other people's families in the mouth of their parents.
And the most special thing is that in Lou Tao's study career, she has never been the most unsociable one. She was kind and helpful to people, and as long as it was anyone who had been in contact with her, she didn't dislike her. In the eyes of others, no one is perfect, it is a person like Lou Tao.
Soon after, Lou Tao graduated from the Central University for Nationalities with honors, and when his classmates were in the torrent of job hunting, Lou Tao decided to launch a charge against Peking University, China's top university.
Because she always felt that if she wanted to study the thousands of years of human existence, her professional level and ideological realm still needed more improvement.
In this way, Lou Tao once again entered the top universities for further study, but even in this prodigy Peking University, her light still could not be hidden.
Lou Tao successfully ended his graduate career with the first place in the world history of Peking University. But she will never stop here, in the same year, she was admitted to the History Department of Peking University with the crushing strength of written examinations and interviews, and studied for a doctorate.
Looking back on the years of this academic career, whether it is a teacher or a classmate, no one does not admire Lou Tao's self-discipline and her diligence. When IQ is combined with hard work, the road to learning never ends.
Thinking back to this, Lou Tao opened his eyes. Everything seems to be close at hand, and it seems to be uncertain, thousands of miles away. Looking back on the past, she is satisfied, her thirty years of green onions, not wasted. Maybe I missed a lot of obsessive learning, but I can have a firm goal to fight for in this life, and I can swim in the sea of books without regrets.
Lou Tao, who was recuperating at home, soon received the "Honorary Friend" certificate of Peking University specially issued for her by Peking University. Only at this time, Lou Tao looked like a vegetative person in the eyes of outsiders, and she could not personally accept this heavy honor, so she had to let her father collect it.
But she is happy in her heart, this honor is a reward and affirmation for her years of hard work, and it is the concern of school leaders and teachers and students for their own condition.
Under the coordination of the school, the hospital then installed eye trackers and corresponding computer equipment for Lou Tao, so that she could communicate with the outside world by typing. Lou Tao smiled bitterly in his heart, he was now the same as the "scientific genius" Hawking, but where did he get to that height.
Time passed minute by minute, and in the end, it quietly took away the girl who was trying.
When Lou Tao left, January in Hubei was as usual, neither as dry and cold as in the north, nor as sweltering as in the south. The cool wind gently rolls, and the willows by the river swing slightly. Lou Tao's parents held black boxes and sprinkled one handful of gray-white ashes into the river.
They completely followed Lou Tao's requirements before his death, did not make a big fuss, and did not let others come to mourn. The two just repeated the swinging movements, and there were words in their mouths.
This day is a very ordinary day, but there is one less woman in the world named Lou Tao. After many years, people may no longer even remember Lou Tao, but the inspiring words will always ring in the ears: "The meaning of life should be measured by the quality and thickness of life."
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