The precursor to a guy's breakup is 100 percent cold violence.
A boy will not tell you to break up on a whim, he must have carried out cold violence first, making you collapse, and the precursor of his breakup is precisely no precursor.
How does a girl break up, first raise dissatisfaction, then threaten him to break up, then make trouble, and finally break up. I think it's a very self-explanatory process, with a beginning and a tail and an intermediate change in mood, at least in my opinion, which is traceable.
Some guys are the opposite of you, and he doesn't even say the word breakup. He is cold and violent, leaving you without a trace, not knowing when he was disgusted, not knowing why he was dumped, and not catching a process of his emotional decline.
So girls will suddenly collapse, their own breakup, then the responsibility of breaking up smoothly fell on the girl's head, you probably don't care about those precursors.
Today's content I want to summarize the process of boys' cold violence for girls, and after reading you guarantee that you are no longer confused in the face of boys' cold violence.
Cold violent breakups are generally divided into six stages:
Busy is busy, but not really busy, you tell him to go out on a date can't be called, but the brothers can call out.
Busyness is only a manifestation, not an inner law, the law is a decrease in the various emotional resonances between two people.
And his empathy with other people is increasing. It is difficult to generate passion between you, and he will find the excitement of life in things other than feelings, such as playing games more important than you, and going out with fox friends to eat and drink is more fun than being with you.
For example, you could have talked for an hour on the voice call, and now he just responds with "um" and "okay" on the other side of the phone, and there is almost nothing to share with you. What you share with each other is also a rare positive response. But he will share it with others.
And you ask him some questions about career, family, friendship, etc. will get responses like "I can't give you an opinion", "You just look at it" Don't bother to explain to you, and then hug and kiss Roll the sheets less. There is less resonance in all aspects.
You can clearly feel that this person is absent-minded when he talks to you, and it is not excluded that he has a new goal.
If you think he has changed, you ask, why has it become like this recently?
Guys don't tell you directly "I don't love you that much" or "I'm in love with someone else."
They usually say, "No, I've been tired lately" or "Stressed" and tell you not to think about it. After that, your relationship seems to have eased up a little. But look down.
For example, if you call him, you message him, you go to him, he will not take the initiative. If you don't contact him, he won't contact you.
You are very confused and crazy, what is going on in his heart, whether he doesn't love me, how he came to be like this.
The more you think about it, the more you ask for help from your friends, the more you talk about your troubles, the focus of your attention has shifted to this relationship, and you have unconsciously become self-lost, and the more you think about him, the more you feel that he doesn't like you very much.
But you say that the breakup is just a fake breakup, to keep it.
As a result, he retained you, but please note that it is only lip service, and perfunctory two words about the baby, don't think about it.
His reaction is not salty, making you feel that you are being ignored.
But if you say two more words, his impatient expression and sarcastic language will make you emotionally head-on, making you feel that you are the overreacting party.
Then you fall into self-doubt, feel that you have no shining point, which is a kind of self-perception adjustment, when you are ignored and ridiculed, you know that you still love this person, the two cognitions are in conflict, and you will find a suitable explanation for yourself: that is, I did something wrong, so I was ridiculed.
Then this way of thinking will lead to a deep sense of inferiority and loss to please him.
But he kept you after all, he bowed his head, at this time the girl is very happy, think that this boy still cares a little about himself, but this happiness is mixed with uneasiness.
The boy knows that you are making trouble, not a real point, just hanging you, consuming you, burning your patience.
The relationship eased up for a while, but it was very short, equivalent to returning to the light, you tried not to mention the topics that made him unhappy, and the mode of getting along between the two sides became convergent, hidden, often speechless, and the feeling of cold violence came again.
It is still silent, avoidant, hot and cold, sarcastic, and it is a version of intensification.
In fact, it has entered a state of unilateral de facto breakup of boys.
The girl's mentality is repeated, breaking and rebuilding again and again, rebuilding and being broken again and again, such as crying when recalling good memories, not being able to eat and sleep, not knowing whether to divide or not, you feel that you have been driven crazy.
Then you experience a long, long emotional recurrence, grinding, people around you enlighten you, scold you, you will decide to forget the scumbag, and you will decide to fight a battle to save it.
Finally completely disappointed, mourning is greater than heart death, sent WeChat to say breakup, the other party did not even reply.
The cold violent breakup has finally come to an end.
In general, boys who like cold and violent breakups, are afraid of commitment, have an inferiority complex, and they don't even have the courage to say it, which may have something to do with the environment in which he grew up.
But people are not unchangeable, especially men who are in love, I have seen many girls being dumped by boys in this way, but I have also seen many girls when she questioned from the second stage, and even in the first stage, she was very vigilant, began to solve the problem, and finally changed the direction of the whole thing.
We learn more about the principles of feelings, look at the analysis of many emotional bloggers, the purpose is also here, better grasp our existing feelings, learn if to find problems, how to communicate problems, how to understand the man they love, and then guide his behavior patterns, so that the feelings of two people are better.
Including why the other party will be cold and violent, how to deal with it correctly, the feelings that appear signs of a breakup, how you can act to change the status quo, avoid going to the side of the breakup, and how to run this relationship, this is what you have to learn.
To sum up, sister, don't be knocked down by difficulties.
Psychological test: Test the sentence your ex most wants to say to you
1. Do you argue over small things when you're together?
Yes, I often feel tired —2
Rarely quarrel over small things—2
Occasionally, but soon reconciled —3
2. Do you think you are a person who likes to self-reflect and is willing to correct mistakes?
Yes —3
Not —4
3. Will he or she take the initiative to tell you his troubles?
It is often said that -5
Not much to say —4
4. Would you tell your parents about the process of your relationship?
Everything is too big or small, and I often complain to my parents -6
Occasionally they ask and say —5
Hardly to say, nothing to say —5
5. Faced with what you want, how much energy are you willing to put into acquiring it?
Everything follows fate, and it is mine in the end--7
Try hard, maybe you can succeed - 6
Do my best, I want to get --B
6. Did you break up because of a third party?
Yes—A
No —7
7. Did the other party take the initiative to contact you after the breakup?
Yes—D
No—C