Author/Child
A boy asked me this: In this society now, are there girls who do not want a bride price?
I told him that not only was it real, but it was quite a lot. But you also have to understand a point: whether it is love or marriage, any relationship can not be absolutely pure, to put it bluntly, when everyone likes someone, it must be a self-interested mentality at the beginning, wanting to get something from the other party, or the other party has some kind of interests that they value, whether it is looks, height, personality, temperament, or income, etc., in fact, it is just one of the expressions of interests.
Those who take the bride price out alone to tell the story, on the surface, under the guise of finding love, are trying to separate the income, that is, the material item, and at the same time, deliberately ignoring other measurements are also a kind of interests.
From this point of view, the bride price actually plays an additional role in the intimate relationship of many people, and there is really no need to go online.
Originally, on this issue, from different positions, there will be completely different views, and there is no so-called distinction between right and wrong, which can be said to be justified by public opinion and reasonable. Because to put it bluntly, everyone's choice is actually two-sided, you can ask for a bride price, and I can also refuse.
And in real life, those girls who do not want a bride price, they value more is some other interests, don't believe it, girls do not want a bride price, often there are 3 reasons.
01. Value his character;
After all, most people in an intimate relationship, one of the most important indicators to measure whether this person can go to the end and is worth relying on is actually character.
If a person's character is finally affirmed, then this plus will lead to girls in the choice of mates, relatively should be weakened and ignored in other aspects, can make up for a lot of deficiencies.
I have a classmate, she and her husband married, pure naked marriage, the two people just went to get a marriage license, no banquet, no wedding, even wedding photos, are the cheapest packages.
She must have done this to save her husband money. Her husband's family is not well-off, the countryside comes out, no matter what you have to rely on yourself, so in ordinary life, is a more frugal person. And what she values is her husband's performance in terms of character, she thinks that he is down-to-earth and steady, not exaggerated at all, doing things particularly reliably, very reassuring to her, is a suitable person for life.
She chose him and walked firmly into marriage.
Now, they have been married for almost six years, the two of them have worked hard together to buy the garage, and the child has entered the kindergarten.
Her husband is still reliable and has been the same for her for many years. Therefore, she did not regret her original choice at all, and the suffering she had suffered, as long as she could do her best, she thought it was worth it. Therefore, she often tells some married girls that no matter what the material of this person is, in fact, the most important thing is character, some people have money in their hands, but if he guards against you and does not give you flowers, the two people can never communicate, such a life is meaningless.
When the relationship itself is highly affirmed, as for the bride price, these are really no longer important.
02. Love has been generated, tending to struggle together with two people;
In fact, there are some girls, they think that a relationship should be equal, should not ask for a bride price, naturally there will be no dowry, think that marriage is two people to set up a family, about the family's affairs, everything is the two of us to decide, natural words, there is no need to rely on parents to help.
Girls who think like this are often more independent, both in personality and economics, and these independences can support them to make such choices.
Since you don't value the bride price, you must care about whether this person is the person you really like.
Of course, as for how to make them really like, there will certainly not be an absolutely correct and fixed answer, because everyone values different things, and the points that are ultimately attracted to them are different, and the choices will be completely different.
I have such examples.
I know a bully sister, high education and high IQ, her husband and she is a graduate student, after graduation for her to come to her city, two people worked together, settled here, everything is from Jane, no bride price no dowry, everything of the two of them, are relying on their own hard work.
As for today's marriage relationship, it is also a state of mutual understanding and mutual respect, the class is together, the children are brought together, and they have been together for many years, and the relationship is generally very stable.
03. Some kind of added value in this boy is particularly large;
This added value does not refer specifically, but can point to many things.
As long as your added value is highly recognized by the other party, you don't even need the evaluation of outsiders.
For example, I have a good friend's brother, who has nothing, no money and no particularly stable job, and the parents at home can't provide much help, and the personality is not much of a talkative type, a little shy, but it is such a boy, her sister-in-law originally wanted to marry him, did not want anything, and now has a son and a daughter.
But what initially attracted her brother to her sister-in-law may sound superficial, but realistic: her brother is handsome.
Later, when they got along, they felt that people were still good, so they collapsed on the ground. In fact, whether boys or girls, looks are a relatively large advantage when choosing a mate, after all, anyone is a visual animal at the beginning without understanding each other.
I also have a good friend, she also offered not to pay the bride price, because she believes that marrying her husband is itself earned by herself, the bride price is not important, and she is even afraid that if she proposes the bride price, she will scare the other party away. She graduated from her own college, but she worships the academic bully, her husband is a graduate student, the job is not bad, she is the other party she chased, and now she has been married for two years.
Therefore, girls who do not want a bride price, if you look at it in life, you will find that it is definitely not an isolated case, and many girls think that it is possible to not have a bride price.
But they are sure that at the same time, there will be other requirements accordingly, depending on whether you can meet them.
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