Lin Yutang said:
"The wisdom of life is to gradually clarify and filter out the impurities that are not important, while retaining the most important parts."
It is true that in this life, time and energy are limited.
The best way to live is to spend precious time and energy on things that are worthwhile and make us feel happy.
If a person, one thing, will always make you entangled, will always cause you to consume, then no matter how unwilling, no matter how unwilling, you must decisively give up the timely stop loss.
At any time, I want you to understand that the most important purpose of human life is to live better.
Middle-aged, through the vicissitudes, people are going to become mature, for the following things, just give up in time.
Abandon the flattering personality
The book "The Courage to Be Hated" says:
"The reason why we please others is because we are afraid of being hated."
Yes, in life, there are always some people who will get used to pleasing others.
Always afraid that if you refuse the unreasonable help of others, you will offend people; you always worry that if you don't cater to others, the relationship will be estranged.
But in fact, the person who can really appreciate you will always appreciate your proud appearance, not your pretending to be humble and flattering.
People who need to be flattered to keep don't have much sincerity towards you, they are close to you, but just want to enjoy your efforts.
In the TV series "I Am Yu Huanshui", the early Yu Huanshui is a typical flattering personality.
In the face of the brother-in-law's sneering, he will swallow his anger; he will flatter and laugh in the face of the leader wearing small shoes; he will not dare to resist in the face of the bullying of his colleagues...
Ultimately?
In the end, his flattery, all he gets is to make inches and more to be valued, thus running his life into a mess.
In this life, everyone may want to be recognized by more people, but you should understand that the most basic principle of two people's interaction is equality.
No matter how the relationship arises or develops, I want to always believe that those who can maintain self-esteem are more worthy of appreciation than to be humble and flattering.
When people reach middle age, they should no longer humblely please anyone, and whoever is comfortable with them will be with whomever they are.
Only in this way can you live a more relaxed and comfortable life.
Give up the inflated desires
Franklin once said:
"For the unsatisfied, no chair is comfortable."
In this materialistic era, everyone wants to live a better life, and everyone wants to get what they want.
However, people do not have enough time to complete everything in their lives, and they cannot satisfy all their desires.
Blind greed will eventually lead to the spirituality and wisdom of life, and you may lose more than you gain, and you will be more precious than what you have gained.
I have seen such a story on the Internet:
A middle-aged man, a typical workaholic, spends half of his time traveling 365 days a year, even if he doesn't travel, he works overtime for work.
After more than ten years of marriage, he has not taken a day off for his children, nor has he transferred a shift once because of his wife.
In his heart, he wants to make a lot of money and then let the family live a good life.
It is undeniable that his efforts have been rewarded a lot, and they have lived in a big house and lived a life of fine clothes and food.
However, because of the lack of companionship at home, the children are not happy, and the wife is completely tired, and eventually the relationship comes to an end.
Cai Lan said:
"Most of the troubles and fears in life are due to greed, and the more you want to get, the more you lose."
In fact, for life, we don't need as much as we think, sometimes give ourselves a vacation, throw away those goals, and then spend more time with our families.
And when you stop, you will find more beautiful scenery, you can enjoy life more calmly and more fully.
Let go of feelings that shouldn't be there
Zhang Ailing has a famous saying:
"In love, I chased the red rose, and in the marriage, I became a mosquito blood on the wall, in love I chased the white rose, and in the marriage, I became the white grain of rice stuck on the clothes."
Perhaps everyone will be curious about the world outside the siege and have the urge to go out. But people don't just have impulses, they also have responsibilities.
When people reach middle age, go through half a life, and experience flashiness, you will eventually understand that it is a wise choice not to let desire run wild, to defend for love, and to remain loyal.
In the TV series "Thirty Only", Xu Huanshan's wife is virtuous, the child is smart, the career is successful, and it can be said that too many people envy the life.
However, he did not restrain himself, and eventually became entangled with the young Lin Youyou.
When the matter was revealed, he also paid a heavy price, the marriage broke down, and the company went bankrupt due to the fireworks explosion.
I have seen such a passage:
"The first button is wrong, but you only find out when you buckle the last button." Some things are wrong at the beginning, but only in the end they have to admit it. ”
Undeserved feelings are actually so, and some people's encounters and loves are wrong from the beginning.
Once you get entangled in those wrong feelings, eventually the troubles will only keep flowing.
When people reach middle age, it is time to take on their own responsibilities, treat feelings that should not be there, and only by giving up can you grasp the happiness you already have.
In this life, people always have to make trade-offs.
Truly intelligent people will know how to measure, and when some things only consume their own energy and consume their happiness, then they will decisively give up.
Because they know that living their own lives is the primary responsibility, and ensuring their happiness is the most important choice.
For the rest of your life, may you give up the above three things early, and then embrace the future steadily, calmly, and calmly.
END
Author: Away from the rain slightly cool, a rational, emotional, like to use words to express personal views, bring you spiritual healing, emotional solution, life perception of the post-90s writer.