Text | Du Lanjun Figure | Internet
Source | Dulan (ID: dulantea)
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Ben Johnson famously said:
"Language can best expose a person, as long as you speak, I can understand you." 」
To know whether a person is worthy of deep friendship, in addition to being able to see clearly for a long time, you can also listen to how he speaks to judge.
Words are the voice of the heart, and words are mirrors. A person's inner cultivation and disposition are revealed in every word.
People who open their mouths and close their mouths are the following three kinds of words, often dark in their hearts, and it is best not to make deep friends.
- 01 -
Carrying back words
The writer Wang Meng wrote a short novel called "Eloquence", which tells the story of a patient who suffers from "eloquence".
The doctor politely said to the patient, "Please sit." ”
The patient retorted, "Why sit?" Are you going to deprive me of the right not to sit? ”
Seeing that the chat froze, the doctor decided to change the topic to ease the atmosphere: "The weather is good today. ”
The patient said, "Pure nonsense! Just because you're in good weather doesn't mean the whole world is in good weather today. ”
The patient was always uncooperative, and the doctor could not see him at all.
He retorted every time he opened his mouth, but forgot that the purpose of this trip was to see a doctor.
People who like to talk back, never regard the occasion, do not talk about right and wrong, they just love to raise the bar.
This type of person likes to reflexively provoke the words of others to obtain the happiness and superiority of suppressing others.
They only care about winning or losing, whether others are comfortable or not, they don't care.
And Franklin said:
"If you always raise the bar and refute it, you may be able to win occasionally, but it is only an empty victory, because you will never get the other party's favor." 」
People come and go with each other, seeking comfort, not winning or losing.
The other person will soon realize that when you always want to take advantage of words, you don't want to communicate, but to win or lose.
Stay away from those who make unreasonable trouble, do not argue with them, and you will not let life drag into the filthy mud.
- 02 -
Words that are inconsistent
There is a proverb that says: "It is difficult to draw a dragon and a tiger to draw a bone, and it is difficult to know the face of the person and not the heart." ”
There is such a category of people, with a compassionate face, but a fierce heart, sweet talk in front of people, but black and sinister in the back.
In the Tang Dynasty, there was a prime minister named Li Linfu, who was described by the world as having "honey in his mouth and a sword in his belly."
He is approachable on the surface, does not put up a shelf, and speaks nicely, but he stabs people in the back.
When Tang Xuanzong praised Lu Xuan's noble temperament, Li Linfu heard this and was worried that Lu Xuan would be reused, so he summoned Lu Xuan's son and said to him:
"The emperor wants your father to go to Lingnan to serve as an official, and if your father refuses, he will definitely be degraded." It is better to take the initiative to request a leisurely position on the grounds of old age. ”
Lu Xuan did not want to go to Lingnan, so according to Li Linfu's suggestion, he took the initiative to ask the emperor to leave the imperial capital and go to Luoyang as an errand boy.
Say three points to every person, and don't throw away a piece of your heart when things happen.
People who are inconsistent in appearance are the most terrible, they do the good things in the name of good people, they do bad things.
You never know what kind of calculation he had in mind when he showed favor to you.
On the surface, for the sake of people, in fact, it is harmful to others and self-interest, and the mouth is full of swords, making people invincible.
Do not have deep friendships with such people, keep a certain distance, and do not have too many interests entangled.
- 03 -
Stubborn paranoid words
Zeng Guofan's dating rules have one: stay away from pedantic people.
Because such people are stubborn and uncivilized, they are self-contained and have a narrow vision.
With them, you will also be negative and closed.
I heard a little story:
A man bought a tank of beautiful goldfish, but he did not know how to raise them, only knew how to feed the goldfish every day.
Within a few days, the goldfish had become sick. The neighbor told him: "The water in the fish tank should be changed frequently, otherwise the fish will die." ”
The man said, "The goldfish has no spirit, it must be that it is not full, what does it have to do with water?" I'll just feed more fish. ”
The neighbor patiently told him the trick of raising goldfish for half a day, but the man was all in the ear and poured a lot of fish food into the fish tank at once.
As a result, the next day, all the goldfish were dead.
Talking to extremely paranoid people is easy to have a sense of powerlessness in chicken and duck talk.
They are always "confused" in themselves, refuse to reflect, cannot listen to different opinions, and cannot see their own shortcomings.
He also always blames the problem on others, preferring to argue forcefully and rationally rather than admit his own failures.
The philosopher Russell said:
"The fool and the madman are always so sure of themselves, while the wise are full of doubts."
Truly wise people, open-minded, do not regard ignorance as fearlessness, do not regard stubbornness as perseverance.
They are willing to face up to their shortcomings, accept different ideas, and continue to grow in order to continuously improve themselves.
Stay away from extremely paranoid people, such people are too "solipsistic", get along with them, often can not keep up with the pace of the times, live into old antiques and diehards.
There is a question on Zhihu: "Why are people who love to laugh the most likable?" ”
One high-praise answer is: "Everyone loves to be with happy people." ”
No one wants to live by the stinky ditch, and the greatest absurdity of man is to get entangled with rotten people and rotten things.
The rest of life is not long, away from the dark people inside, walk with positive and sincere people, let the heart be born to the sun, bathed in the sunshine of happiness and confidence.
Sprinkle every inch of good time on good things.
Author: Dulan Jun, Source: Dulan (ID: dulantea), love yourself, is the beginning of a lifelong romance, in Dulan, let the United States accompany. Please contact the original author for reproduction. Half of them are published with authorization.