I know that there is a question above: "Should people be stingy?" ”
Below there is a high praise reply: "You can't be stingy about anything, but some things must be stingy in order to be happy." ”
As I get older, I understand more and more that some help does not have to be helped, some losses do not have to be eaten, and some gas does not have to be endured.
A good life has always been between one close and one release, and master the scale.
The generosity is generous, the stinginess is stingy, the respect for people is divided, and respect for people is moderate.
01
Some help does not have to be helped, and it is done according to the ability
As the saying goes: "No diamonds, don't do porcelain work." ”
People are self-aware, and everything should be thought twice and done according to their ability.
Weigh it up beforehand, if you can't help it, don't be reckless.
There was a host, in the year of college graduation, he passed five levels and cut six generals, passed strict screening, and finally entered the provincial television station to work.
Later, a show he hosted received good ratings, and before he could share his joy with his parents, he received a call from his aunt.
The host had thought that his aunt had come to congratulate him. Unexpectedly, his aunt actually asked him to send her son, a cousin who did not have any skills, to the TV station.
The host explained very embarrassedly: "My cousin has no special skills, recruiting him does not meet the rules of the TV station, I have no right to do so myself, nor can I invite a non-professional to enter the TV station. ”
But the aunt was still stubborn and threatened him: "If you don't help this, don't recognize me as an aunt." ”
After the host listened, he hung up the phone very angrily.
He knew in his heart that he could help with what he could do; he should not be strong in things that were beyond the scope.
Zhang Ailing once said: "Even if it is a show of hands, I have the right to choose not to help." ”
No matter how good the relationship, some things must be measured.
If it is beyond the scope of our ability, we will refuse when we should refuse, and we will never give in.
02
Some losses do not have to be eaten, and kindness has a ruler
As the old saying goes, "You can't eat too much, and you can't be too nice to you." ”
If it is too good for a person, in exchange, it may be the other party's inch.
Netizen HevBob opened a fruit shop downstairs.
He opened a fruit shop downstairs, and the owner was a handsome-looking young man. Because he was close to home and saw that it was not easy for the young man, he often patronized the shop to take care of the young man's business.
At first, the young man was still kind to him, but after a long time, the young man's behavior slowly became casual.
On several occasions, HevBob only bought 10 yuan of fruit, but the young man self-righteously grabbed an extra handful and put it in, and when he was finished, he asked for thirteen or four dollars.
The young man's act of making decisions without anyone's consent made HevBob very embarrassed.
There is a small snack in the fruit shop that is not easy to sell, and almost no one buys it. Once, HevBob had just finished weighing the fruit, and when he was about to leave, the guy suddenly pulled him aside and said, "This little snack is particularly delicious, you can try it a little." ”
Without waiting for HevBob to speak, he helped HevBob pack a small bag of snacks.
HevBob was annoyed and ignored him and left. Since then, the boy's attitude towards him has changed.
A few days later, HevBob went to the store to buy watermelon, and just paid with his mobile phone, when the guy suddenly stopped him and said in a strong tone: "Did you pay?" Show me. ”
In fact, HevBob in this fruit shop, bought fruit many times, each time with WeChat payment, initially, he will always take the initiative to show the guy the mobile phone payment interface.
Later, after they got acquainted, before HevBob handed him the phone to see, he waved his hand and said no need to look at it, old customer, can believe it.
Unexpectedly, this time the guy had to check that HevBob payment was not available.
In the face of the boy's difficulties, HevBob could not express the helplessness and chagrin.
He has never been to the fruit shop again.
Everything must be measured and insurmountable.
Always soft-hearted concessions, over time, others will regard your kindness as weakness to be deceived.
As the saying goes: "Kindness has a ruler, and concessions have a degree." ”
Some losses do not have to be eaten, kindness must have a bottom line, do not spoil those who are not grateful.
03
Some anger does not have to be endured, and tolerance is measured
Xu Baiyan said in "Inspiration": "What endures, the wind and waves are calm, take a step back from the sea and the sky, all your tolerance, all of them are the manifestations of your powerlessness." ”
In life, not everyone is worth enduring, and not all anger has to be endured.
Blindly forbearance will only make others worse.
Life is in the world, put away your generosity, in order to live easily.
Once saw such a story:
After Swallow and her husband got married, the shrewd mother-in-law proposed to separate the family, and if she did not want to separate the family, she must be given 4,000 yuan per month as living expenses.
Swallow felt that the family wanted to eat and drink, and it was acceptable to pay her money, so she agreed to her mother-in-law's conditions. But I never thought that the sister-in-law's family often lived at home to eat and drink, and I never saw my sister-in-law pay a penny. The swallow had no choice but to swallow.
Since swallows have children, because of work reasons, they can only ask their mother-in-law to help take care of the children, and the mother-in-law superficially agrees, but behind her back, she shows her face everywhere for swallows.
Later, Swallow moved to her newly purchased home, and in just one year, the mother-in-law began to play the idea of a new house, on the grounds that the little uncle wanted to get married, the mother-in-law wanted to let Swallow move home, and the new house was reserved for the little uncle to get married. Swallow angrily quarreled with her mother-in-law.
The mother-in-law was surprised, and the usually docile swallow was actually like a "shrew" at this time, scaring the mother-in-law who did not dare to argue again.
But the mother-in-law was not willing, and then found a sister-in-law to question Swallow together: "A family, do not speak two families, the little uncle wants to get married and use a room, you don't want to be so stingy." ”
Swallow did not show weakness, and said to the sister-in-law: "I am stingy, then you give your house to your brother." ”
The sister-in-law quarreled again.
After seeing the strength of the swallow, the mother-in-law and the little sister-in-law never dared to "let loose" in front of the swallow again.
Being too accommodating to others will only make yourself feel wronged.
Blindly forbearance will only be exchanged for repeated bullying;
Too soft-hearted, can only let themselves be wronged;
Keep giving in, perfecting others but failing themselves.
To be a person, you don't have to be too sensible, and you should never suppress yourself when you have a tantrum, so that you can live without getting tired.
04
Respecting people has a point, respecting people has a degree
Mencius once said, "He who loves others will always love him; he who respects others will always respect him." ”
Between people, there is always mutual.
For some people, you can't be generous for the sake of face, and you don't have to be polite when you should worry about some things.
Some help does not have to help, and it is necessary to act according to one's ability to go far;
Some losses do not have to be eaten, and kindness can not be disappointed;
Some qi does not have to be endured, and patience can only protect themselves.
In life, some things do not have to be compared in order to go smoothly; but some things must not be compromised, and others dare not make an inch.