Today is the International Consumer Rights Day, on weekdays, we as consumers, we will always encounter all kinds of "troubles", false publicity, telecommunications fraud and so on... In the face of these, of course, we must use legitimate means to safeguard our rights and interests! But you know what? Children, in fact, also have to defend their rights. Why don't we take advantage of the day of 3.15 to talk about the "false parents" around the children and protect the rights and interests of love for the children!
"False parents" – everything is done and spoiled
Many parents dote on their children and give them unrestrainedly. The life of a child, everything is taken care of. If the child does something wrong, he will not blame, but will only say "he is still a child". Is this "love"? It seems to be very good to the child and responds to every need, but in fact it pushes the child into an endless abyss. Coddling is a destructive form of education that suppresses, rather than encourages, a child's growth.
Children who grow up in coddling cannot do things independently and face setbacks, which is the habit of "false parents"!
"False parents" - too much discipline, interfering in the child's life
When the child is 10 years old, you do not consider her/his hobby talent, you sign up for calligraphy classes, piano lessons, learn music, learn dance, learn to draw...
When the child is 18 years old, you order him to fill a certain school and study a certain major;
When your child is about to graduate at the age of 22, you give orders early and plan the way forward for him.
"False parents" are unknowingly forcibly interfering in a child's life in the name of discipline.
Psychologist Li Xue said: A body can only bear one soul, if the parents' control is airtight, the child has actually been mentally "dead".
"False parents" – the goal of education is to "obey"
"False parents" always take obedience as the criterion for judging children, and like to use the authority of parents to educate children. In fact, if we look carefully, we will find that a child who takes the words of his parents as the "standard" for everything is mostly unconscionable, lacks decision-making ability and judgment. As they grow up, they gradually break away from the "protection" of their parents, and it is easy to get lost in the group and become followers of other opinionated children.
When they enter the society and set up their own families, because they do not have the personality traits of independence and responsibility from a young age, they will become "giant babies" and "mother treasures" of different degrees, and they will not be able to correctly face the intricate social relations and family relations.
Therefore, it is better to be a "true parent" than to patiently listen to the child's ideas and encourage him to make decisions for himself when he begins to have his own ideas, rather than blindly asking the child to do what he thinks. In addition to the child's character, parenting issues, and some insignificant non-principle issues, why not listen to the child's voice?
"False parents" - accompanying children to walk out of shape and not to be distracted
As parents, we once thought that the longer parents spend with their children, the happier their children will be in the future.
As a result, the "fake parents" will think that as long as I am next to my child, it does not matter if I sit and lie down and play with my mobile phone. Many parents do not walk in shape when accompanying their children, "in Cao Ying's heart in Han". This is actually wrong!
In the process of interacting with parents, what children need is a positive response, if this response is passive or only perfunctory, then the link between parents and children cannot be established, and there is no flow of love without links.
With the child, even if it is just eye contact, or a simple conversation with the child, or a moment of play, it will make the child feel the attention of the mother, which will bring them a great sense of satisfaction and security in their hearts. This is "effective companionship".
The family is the first school in life, and the parent is the child's first teacher. However, in recent years, with the acceleration of social transformation in the mainland, family education has exposed a series of prominent problems, some parents "only care about life and do not teach"; some parents do not know how to educate their children; some parents are excessively "chicken babies"; some parents believe in "no fight, no talent", beating and abuse as a family education method...
In October 2020, the 31st session of the Standing Committee of the 13th National People's Congress voted to pass the Law of the People's Republic of China on the Promotion of Family Education, which came into effect on January 1, 2022. This is the first time that our country has introduced special legislation on family education.
The new law advocates these nine methods of education
The Family Education Promotion Law makes it clear that when minors' parents or other guardians carry out family education, they shall pay attention to the physical, psychological, and intellectual development of minors, respect minors' rights to participate in relevant family affairs, and reasonably use the above methods and methods.
It is hoped that parents will establish a scientific concept of education, rationally determine their children's growth goals, earnestly fulfill the main responsibility of family education, educate minors with correct thoughts, methods and behaviors to develop good thoughts, conduct and habits, do not be "false parents", and let children grow up healthy and happy.
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Some of the material in this article is synthesized from mommmomlove, rule of law and campus.
Edit: Daifuku
Proofreading: The water horse is not at home
Review: Fisherman's Student