Have many parents ever encountered a situation where you talk to your teenage child, say it several times and he doesn't respond, let him do things motionless, sometimes even if you do it is sloppy... Did he not hear? We all know it's not, so why doesn't he ignore us? A teenager is in adolescence, he's fighting "power" with us, he's struggling to find a way to make himself feel powerful, and a power struggle with his parents is a way for him to gain power. Having strength is a good quality, as long as it is both respectful and responsible. When you learn to communicate in effective language, you'll be able to help your child feel empowered rather than caught up in a power struggle.
So how do we talk to our children to communicate effectively? You can try the following suggestions.
1. Be an active parent. What is an active parent? When we see children getting angry with their parents about something. There are two ways of speaking, and we can easily tell which is proactive and which is reactive. "Baby, you're really angry, and I want to know what I've done to bother you so much?" "I've done so much for you, how can you talk to me like that?" Obviously, the first sentence will make the child willing to talk to you, and the result of the second sentence can be imagined, either turning his head and ignoring you, or continuing to quarrel with you.
2. Concise language. Sometimes concise language is more effective than saying a lot of things when communicating with your child. When the child forgets to turn off the lights after going to the toilet, some parents will say: "Tell you how many times, after going to the toilet to turn off the lights, how can you not remember?" "What will the child react to, is it a little impatient, in fact, we only use one word, the child does not turn off the light, we just look at the direction of the lamp and say "light", it can be, he realizes that it will go off, may have the same effect of two sentences, but which kind of child is more willing to accept, I think everyone understands very well.
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Author: Zhang Xiaofeng, female, master student, national second-level psychological counselor. Long-term focus on family education research, for the establishment of a good parent-child relationship, to help children through the rebellious adolescence, to solve anxiety, emotional distress, alleviate learning pressure, to achieve their own growth will give you good advice. Life is a star, let us take care of its light together. I will listen attentively and accompany you with love, just so that you can meet a better version of yourself as soon as possible.