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Do not write homework, motherly kindness and filial piety; a homework, chickens fly dogs jump.
This is the "big drama" that the circle of friends has to stage every day since the beginning of the school for 2 weeks.
The child is just next to the stool at the desk, either drinking water, snacking or going to the toilet.
Parents must move a small bench and sit next to the town yard.
The previous series of operations were completed, and I began to write, and the small movements did not stop, cutting hands, biting nails, twisting and cutting, and stretching my legs.
The homework that could have been completed in half an hour took 2 and a half hours.
When parents remind them not to listen to them once or twice, they begin to get angry, and communication basically relies on yelling. It is useless to be angry, the more you roar, the slower you get.
At this time, parents need to learn and find ways to change the status quo.
In fact, you only need to do the following points, the child is not troubled, the mother is not irritable, to enter the secret channel of developing good habits.
01
People have two possibilities for study and work, one is forced, and the other is voluntary. Many children do homework rubbing is not a concept of time, let children develop a concept of time, take the initiative to do things.
Parents accompany their children to do a good job of time planning, and find ways for their children to improve their concentration and improve efficiency. Then gently and firmly to execute the plan.
Take homework as an example, we can do this:
First figure out the amount of homework, for example: the teacher assigned the number of words in English today, how much time it will take;
2. Decompose the target and turn it into a small module,
30 minutes in Chinese with a 5-minute break;
Math for 20 minutes, rest for another 5 minutes;
30 minutes in English; another 5 minutes of rest;
3. Set the rules: when encountering a problem that will not be, put it aside first, and then discuss it with the wrong question after all the writing;
Drink water, snack, or go to the toilet; put it in each small module and rest for 5 minutes in between.
4. Whenever a small piece of content is done, parents give positive evaluation and strengthen encouragement;
5. Complete the day's homework, the rest is free time, let the child plan what he likes to do.
Notice that when we give positive evaluations to our children, we don't just praise "You're awesome!" ”
Instead, it's a specific description: you finished your homework in half an hour today, 5 minutes earlier than yesterday. I'm sure you can do it the same tomorrow!
The evaluation template is: say what your child has done today, plus what you want your child to do later.
Each makes some changes today than yesterday. Slowly, all the bad things will improve and develop in the desired direction.
In the fifth step above, let the child plan what they like, you can suggest these: find friends to play, ride Lego, read books, watch knowledge videos on the tablet, and listen to stories.
With this schedule, let the child sit at the desk and follow the small goal of decomposition step by step, step by step, in order to achieve the purpose of step by step, to actively complete the homework volume
This is known as the Premark principle, which means that if one pleasant thing awaits us, we will soon accomplish another thing we don't like.
Stick to it for a while, in this process, let the child learn time management and become a time management master.
Let "you hurry up and do it" become "In order to..., I want to do it as soon as possible...", "I can do it well".
02
Good habits can make us insist on it every day and continue to exert our strength.
Now many children are very smart and have a strong ability to accept new knowledge; but they just can't stick to it, and many times they give up when they learn it.
The teacher of my writing class talked to us, and among the students she taught, those who insisted on writing for two or three years could already earn 20,000 yuan a month, and they could not finish writing the manuscript, and even the script.
Some students who performed well before did not insist on writing for various reasons have now disappeared.
All successes are not accidental.
What can support us to do every day must be a good habit to develop, like a clock standing there, and every time it must be working in a given direction.
As it is said in the Analects: The Heavenly Dao rewards hard work, and the continuous work of day by day is better than all ingenuity.
We all know that it takes twenty-one days to form a habit, but what we don't know is that it takes three months to turn this habit into a biological clock.
We need to stick to this habit until we are hungry to eat, and when we are sleepy, we have to sleep like the biological clock. Take three steps:
First make a joint plan with your child: make a year plan, a month plan, a week plan.
For example, to learn an instrument, set how many pieces to learn each year; plan how many songs to complete each month; and then a week, to that stage of that to each one, how long it will take.
Make a punch card form, paste it in the most prominent position your child can reach, and perform it every day. After completing the day's tasks, ask your child to check the schedule completed or post a small love.
The weekly plan does it, and you can make a small request that you usually can't do: for example, eat a KFC meal.
When completing your monthly plan, you can ask for a big request: buy a long-desired Lego set, or go to a theme park to play.
When completing the annual plan, there is a bigger goal: for example, a trip to a nearby city.
On the contrary, disqualify and listen to your arrangement. Take him to the places you want him to go: libraries, museums, art exhibitions.
As long as you can stick to it for a semester, this habit of the child is engraved in the child's biological clock.
Chen Heqin, a famous educator on the mainland, said:
Eighty-nine out of ten human movements are habits, and most of this habit is formed in infancy, so in the early childhood, special attention should be paid to the formation of habits.
But habits are not uniform, there are good and bad; habits are well cultivated, blessed for life, and habits are not cultivated well, then they are affected for life.
When we find out that the child has bad habits, we adjust in time, make changes, and after developing good habits, firmly insist on it and let it be carved into the bones.
03
Play into the plan.
We all aspire to have children with good grades, strong bodies, good minds, and sound personalities. Often when children are under pressure, it is easy to be physically and mentally exhausted and go to extremes.
Putting play into the plan can relieve fatigue and better concentrate on learning. Allowing children to play without scruples when they play is a catalyst for good habits.
Take my child, for example:
School ends daily at 5:30 p.m.
5:30 ~ 6:00 Do not rush home, play with good friends for half an hour: generally play basketball, table tennis, badminton, jump rope, you chase me and other games.
6:00~6:20 Eat and review, talk about the school of the day.
6:20~7:00 Write homework
7:00~7:10 Rest for 10 minutes
7:10~8:00 Piano practice
8:00~9:00 Meet your friends
9:00~9:30 Wash before going to bed, tidy up your clothes and school bags, undress and go to bed
9:30~10:00 Chatting before bed, or keeping a journal, or reading before going to bed.
Fall asleep at 10:00
The 30 minutes after school every day are used to relieve the fatigue of an afternoon of school.
1 hour after completing the task is free time, which is a pleasant thing to arrange later, urging the children to complete another thing that is not very good for him soon.
In this way, you can not only get a rest, but also write your homework quickly, and your interests can be persistent and you can play more.
04
Write at the end
Under the double reduction policy, children's homework is less, and children's habit formation is more important.
The family is the child's first teacher, and reducing the burden is not reducing the parents. It's not just a slogan.
After the school arranges the care, we can spend a few hours a day with the child, that is, the only hour.
Reasonable arrangement of this time and efficient accompaniment are issues that each of our parents should think about carefully.
If we want our children to do a good job and have no patience, we need to learn how to be a growth parent so that children can grow better.
You can't just yell, you have to pay attention to the method.
We and the children do time planning together, make a year, month and day schedule, are all methods worth practicing, and in the process of practice, we use play to play in the play line.
Every step we take now to accompany our children to develop good habits is for the sake of the child's future accumulation.
To all parents who are worried about their children, we encourage you.
Author's introduction: Shen Xiaowai, an old Buddhist mother after 87, not a chicken baby. Pay attention to women's growth, aspire to improve themselves, follow the drama to read and write, adhere to original sharing, and warm you and me with words on the road to growth.