In 2020, in a hospital in Dalian, a couple with cancer in both sides had tears in their eyes and sad looks, and they couldn't imagine that their old age would be so miserable.
The couple not only have to endure physical pain, but what is even more heartbreaking is that their only daughter has not contacted them for 17 years, if cancer is a wound in the couple's heart, and what the daughter has done is undoubtedly to sprinkle a handful of salt on the wound, making people feel pain.
In 1979, a baby fell to the ground in the expectations of her parents, this is a baby girl, because the conditions in the family are not very good, the mother did not have a good rest during pregnancy, the baby was not very strong at birth, but her parents still feel that the arrival of the child is the best gift from Heaven to them.
Photos of Cao Qian when she was a student
In the big sickness, the small glitch continues, the child gradually grows up, the parents named her Cao Qian, madder is a plant with strong vitality and adaptability, after growing up, it can also be medicated, perhaps the parents of the Cao family hope that their daughter can grow like madder, tenaciously grow, and finally grow into a person who is useful to the country and society.
"We just want to know where she is, how she is doing..."
This is Cao's father's appeal to the forces of all walks of life and wants to find his daughter, as a parent, such an appeal can be said to be quite humble.
Cao Qian's father
Humble enough not to dare to ask her daughter to pick herself up to see where she has lived for more than ten years, and humble enough to dare not ask her daughter to come home and look at herself, just thinking that it is enough to know if her daughter is okay.
His slightly "inch-by-inch" expectation is that he hopes to get a recent photo of his daughter and let him know what his daughter who left her hometown and went to Germany has now looked like...
"Whether or not I can find her, I am very grateful to you..."
Cao Qian's mother thanked the reporters and people from all walks of life who came to help her find her daughter studying in Germany.
Cao Qian's mother and social caring people
She said that they also had no way, the old two were nearly seventy years old, and they had been diagnosed with cancer, they did not want to disturb their daughter's life, but they were afraid that they would not know whether their daughter was still well before they died.
Fortunately, after mobilizing social forces, the domestic newspaper contacted many Chinese living in Germany, and they sent back news that it was not difficult to find the whereabouts of Cao Qian, and that through the Berlin police system, information on Chinese in Germany could be queried.
This information not only includes name, address, and even work marriage and approximate activity trajectory can be queried, but outsiders have no right to inquire about relevant information, if Cao Qian's parents want to inquire about Cao Qian's information through the Berlin police, they can either go to the Berlin Police Station to handle related matters in person, or issue a power of attorney and entrust others to check on their behalf.
In addition to issuing a power of attorney, various federations of overseas Chinese are also actively looking for Cao Qian for the parents of the Cao family, among which the township associations in Munich, Bayern, Hamburg and other places in Germany are also spreading the news of "looking for Cao Qian" in various channels.
From Cao Qian's parents, we can actually see the infinite expectations and worries of the elderly for their children, but why does Cao Qian not contact her parents for more than ten years? These are probably traced back to Cao Qian's growth process.
As mentioned before, Cao Qian was born without a general child strong, and the economic conditions of the Cao family are not very good, in order to let Cao Qian have a good body, the Cao family's parents save money and use, send good things to Cao Qian's hands, as long as it is what Cao Qian wants, the old two can be satisfied, as for those who cannot be satisfied, bite their teeth and try to satisfy.
At the same time, Cao Qian's parents do not let Cao Qian get involved in various housework or other tasks, in their consciousness, Cao Qian is a child, as a student, a child, then you only need to study well, wait for the future to get ahead, others, as parents they carry.
Photos of Cao Qian in her youth
"She is very sensible and filial..."
Under the guidance of the parents' "you just need to study well" educational concept, Cao Qian is indeed quite hardworking, other children are learning when they are crazy playing with children of the same age, and when other children are distressed by homework, Cao Qian has finished her homework, has time to get along with her parents, gives her parents a back and shoulder pinch, and occasionally tells her parents a small story from the book.
Therefore, in the eyes of her parents, the young Cao Qian is quite sensible, especially when Cao Qian brings back one award after another, the pride in Cao Qian's parents can be imagined.
Like all parents in China, they want to publicize their daughter's excellence, they paste Cao Qian's award certificate on the wall, the wall can not be pasted, they carefully received the drawer, every time in front of others to talk about their daughter, they are proud and proud.
Cao Qian's award
"You're a girl, what are you doing running so far?"
Cao Qian is not rebellious, but her adolescence seems to have come a little late, and when she took the college entrance examination and knew that the score was good, Cao Qian expressed to her parents that she wanted to go to school in the south.
Go to the south to see the different humanistic customs of the Chinese land, and also look at the plans of the green mountains and rivers in the south, but this idea is opposed by parents.
If it is only a matter of persuasion with affection and reason, Cao Qian and her parents may not come to the point of "old age and death do not interact with each other" later, Cao Qian's parents are accustomed to being strong, and Cao Qian, who has been arranged to study well since childhood, is also accustomed to silently facing the requirements of her parents.
But this time, Cao Qian, who has reached adulthood, feels that she can and should dominate her own life, and she wants to choose for herself!
But even so, the parents' support still made Cao Qian back down, when filling in the volunteer, she still filled in the Liaoning Normal University that her parents said, wrote in the last place, she thought, with her own results, should not fall to the point of being admitted by the third choice, fill in the Liaoning Normal School, but also to give parents an account!
Cao Qian and her parents take a picture
Unfortunately, contrary to her wishes, Cao Qian's favorite two southern universities did not admit her, but used to perfunctory her parents to use the LiaoShida to admit her, Cao Qian, who received the admission letter, felt unspeakably in her heart, and Cao Qian's parents were happy to blossom again, this smile was clear and dangling, stabbed Cao Qian's eyes, and also poked Cao Qian's heart.
As a result, this girl who was "forced" to go to Liaoning Normal University rebelled, she no longer studied well, and what she brought home at the end of each term was no longer a paper award, but a report card of failure after another, and even communication with her parents became less and less.
"I have obtained the qualification to study abroad, I want to go abroad, have study abroad experience, and find a job in the future."
In the sophomore year of junior high school, Cao Qian dropped a bombshell on her parents and went to Germany to study, and even Cao Qian's parents, who did not want their daughter to go to the south, would be willing to let Cao Qian go abroad?
However, as the daughter took back more and more failing report cards, the parents of the Cao family also understood that it was the daughter's silent resistance and complaint, and if she was not allowed to go this time, perhaps the daughter would resent them even more.
Cao Qian's father heard that in the case that Cao Qian failed many homework in school, it was not easy to successfully graduate from Liaoning Normal University, not to mention that Cao Qian was not willing to study well and was unwilling to make up for the homework left behind in the past two years of college, so Cao Qian's father compromised.
Cao Akane (right 3) Ported University Bedroom
"How much does it cost to go abroad?"
"70,000."
In 2000, if a worker's monthly salary could have a thousand yuan, then their family's life could be said to be quite good, after all, at that time, the house price in Beijing was still a few thousand yuan a flat.
Therefore, seventy thousand yuan can basically be said to be astronomical for the Cao family, which is not rich at all. But in order not to disappoint their daughter again, the parents of the Cao family not only took out all their savings, but also pulled down their faces to borrow from relatives and friends.
Although in 2000, everyone's living standards may be relatively average, but for the sake of Cao Qian, Cao Qian is a child with a career, Cao Qian's father still made up enough seventy thousand yuan to send Cao Qian abroad to realize his dream.
Cao Qian's parents saved money for Cao Qian to study abroad
"At first, she called back and asked for money..."
Cao Qian got her wish and came to Germany with a total of 70,000 yuan borrowed by her parents' life savings and low voices, but Cao Qian, who had never done work since childhood, did not understand what life was, and she thought she had gained freedom.
But in fact, she was able to go to work-study, and the salary she received was far from enough for her to live well in Germany.
The living expenses are gone, Cao Qian can only call home, looking for her parents to ask, but without savings, where can the Cao family's parents, who still owe a big extra debt, get so much money to provide Cao Qian? Not to mention, every time Cao Qian calls back, she asks for money, does not say her situation, and does not ask her parents whether they are hard.
"The phone bill is too expensive, I'll write a letter later."
Even now, transnational telephones are still priced every six seconds, and the price will only be higher in the zero years, so if you make a phone call that can't say a few words, the bare phone bill is nearly ten yuan, which makes Cao Qian, who has been exposed to human suffering, unbearable, so if it is not necessary, she basically will not call home again, and also tell her parents to write to contact her later.
Cao Qian's parents
But the timeliness of the transoceanic letter is too long, Cao Qian will still be short of money, when anxious, she can only call home, Xu is to save money, Cao Qian's every phone call is quite straightforward, I have no money, give me money... Because of such a beginning, the words of the Cao family's parents who wanted to care about Cao Qian were choked in the throat and could not retreat.
"Money money money, you know you want money, you are asking for our lives!"
Finally, once, Cao's father couldn't help it, and he killed Cao Qian on the phone, because he was wronged, and the hard-working children could not be around to ask themselves how warm they were, at least when they called back, they should also ask their parents if they were okay recently, right?
Cao Qian didn't ask anything, didn't say anything, came up to ask for money, people in their early twenties, her parents carried a debt for her, not to mention, she went abroad for a year or two before and after more than thirty thousand, what is her family situation like, she doesn't know?
But she didn't even have a word of concern for her parents, how did the little girl who would beat her parents' backs and shoulders after a tired day of coming home have become this chilling look?
Cao Qian and her mother take a group photo
Cao Qian is also very aggrieved, in her opinion, calling the door is to save money, and she thinks of saving some money is not to reduce some pressure on her parents?
At the same time, she was also aggrieved, how did the parents who said to themselves that as long as they studied well, they didn't have to worry about themselves, how did they become such a calculating look?
If you want to care, can't you go back to Your Country later or live a good life? Or is it that her parents just don't want to give her money, let her suffer hardships, know that it is difficult to move without money, and obediently go back?
Cao Qian's parents were interviewed
"I won't look for you even if I die!"
After shouting this angry words, Cao Qian stopped the phone, like many young and vigorous children, felt that her self-esteem had been hurt, and became more and more suspicious of the origin of her parents' anger at her for asking for money.
Therefore, she made a fierce determination in her heart that she would never ask her parents for money again! Now that I am in Germany, the mountains are far away, and if I do not take their money, I do not need to be coerced by their economy.
However, in a foreign country, even if Cao Qian has outstanding language ability, she also needs time to adapt, just like the school will also require Cao Qian to study abroad to study in the preparatory department first, and then choose formal coursework after the end of the preparatory course, after nearly a year of "free" time, Cao Qian still encountered difficulties, which made her choose to bow her head and call home to ask for help from her parents.
"I thought you were dead!"
Perhaps Chinese parents have a common disease, they are not good at passing on their emotions to their children, in fact, Cao's father in China was full of joy and anxiety when he received a call from Cao Qian, and even regretted that he had said something serious, resulting in the child not contacting the family for more than a year.
Cao Qian's mother hid her face in excitement and cried
But Cao Qian, who heard this sentence, could not receive her father's worries and regrets, she only heard her father's anger at the end of the telephone line through the handset, and she thought that her father was still remembering that she would not look for them when she died.
So Cao Qian, who was originally soft because of difficulties, was silent for a moment and then silently hung up the phone, dead will not look for them, when they encounter difficulties, they will look for them, what is this?
So be it! Cao Qian thought to herself, if this is the case, then you should treat your daughter Cao Qian as if she were dead! It was 2003, and since this time, Cao Qian had never contacted her parents again, and that time she couldn't help but be weak, and we don't know how she got through the difficulty of seeking help from her parents.
The only thing that is known is that in 2004, Cao Qian once returned to China, flew directly to Shanghai, and stayed in Shanghai for twelve days, after which, she flew back to Germany, and since then, she has never set foot on the land of the motherland.
In 2018, Cao Qian has not contacted her parents at home for fifteen years, the old man is old, has lost the ability to work, they want their daughter, so there is an opening scene, the old couple look for social caring people to inquire about the whereabouts of their daughter.
Later, it was Cao Qian's parents who found the media, hoping to find out the whereabouts of their daughter through the power of society, at that time, Cao Qian's parents both tested for cancer, and the elderly they had also lived on low insurance for many years.
Under the torment of the disease, they miss their daughters who are far away in Germany more and more, and every day they look forward to the news of their daughters, hoping that their daughters will come back to see them when they know that they are sick, or to give them a call and let them listen to the voice of their daughter who has been absent for nearly twenty years.
The medicine that Cao Qian's parents took after suffering from cancer
"Can she give home a call?" ...... How come she doesn't call home yet... It's okay, we don't expect her to retire, she'll just live..."
In the face of the media, Cao's father's demands fell again and again, but even so, they did not wait for Cao Qian to meet them, and they could not even be sure how she was doing.
Just like madder, madder has become a Chinese medicinal herb after growing, activating blood and dispelling stasis, while Cao Qian has grown up and even studied abroad... Unfortunately, all this provided her with the best soil and rain and dew, but the parents of the Cao family waited for the bad news that their daughter was missing.
In the face of Cao Qian's filial piety of not returning home for more than ten years and not contacting her parents, netizens were in an uproar, so Cao Qian "fired".
However, at this time, Cao's father was worried, he was worried that after this matter was fermented, it would have an impact on Cao Qian...
In 2020, Cao Qian's parents have died of cancer, the first to go is Cao Qian's mother, she has been looking forward to it before leaving, looking forward to the day when she wakes up, standing in front of the bed with her middle-aged daughter, and then, the daughter handed herself a glass of water, but even at the last moment of life, she did not see the figure that she had in mind.
"Cao Qian, why is your heart so fierce?"
This is the lament of Cao's father after the death of his wife, the raised daughter did not contact the family for seventeen years, and now the parents are seriously ill, and they will not be able to see each other soon, except for hating the daughter's heart, Cao Qian's father can't do anything, not long after, the Cao father who sent away his wife also died of cancer, and the name Cao Qian was also labeled as filial piety in China.
Cao Qian's mother was devastated
"Cao Qian is a very literary girl, who loves to read books and can quote scriptures to tell us stories..."
"She has a lot of ideas, some romantic feelings, before going abroad, she also told us that her parents tried their best, she had to rely on herself after going abroad, and even she inquired about what suitable part-time jobs there were..."
"She's actually very smart, somewhat idealistic, assertive, and doesn't want to be tied down..."
Cao Qian's classmates have a lot of evaluations of Cao Qian, most of them are positive, smart, thoughtful, assertive, etc., but what is the reason why Cao Qian has become a cruel woman who no longer has contact with her parents in the three years after going abroad?
In fact, in a way, Cao Qian's fierce heart was "cultivated" by Cao Qian's father and mother himself, since childhood, they have not let Cao Qian experience the embarrassment that poor people will face, they always force themselves, they would rather starve themselves, and they can't let Cao Qian have less meat that she wants to eat, so that Cao Qian only knows that her parents are hard, but she doesn't know that it is not only hard, but difficult.
Then there is the fact that they say to the young Cao Qian: You only need to study well, so Cao Qian naturally cultivated, as long as I study well, then all the thoughts I want have.
Cao Qian
This is also the later when filling out the college entrance examination volunteer, Cao Qian will be dissatisfied because her parents do not let herself go to the south, and it is also the foreshadowing that she did not study well in Liaoshida later, because she believes that even if she studies well, what she wants is still not obtained, so why should I be so "obedient"?
It can be said that when she was in China, Cao Qian was a spoiled child, who would lose her temper with her parents because she was not satisfied, and even gamble with her future, betting that her parents could not help her.
But it is not denied, perhaps Cao Father Cao Mother does have the common disease of traditional Chinese parents, they will think that they are all for the good of the child, so the child should listen to himself, do not know, this kind of self-perceived "good", in the child's childhood is very useful.
But when the children grow up, they will have their own thinking, will have their own ideas, most children "awaken" self-awareness is in the thirteen or fourteen-year-old stage, so there is a rebellious period and adolescence, and unfortunately, Cao Qian's "awakening" came later, but also stronger, so there will be parents and classmates different evaluations of her.
Finally, probably after arriving in Germany, Cao Qian experienced something, after seeking help from her parents and not being able to, she would change her name and surname, and since then she broke with her parents and no longer cared about everything about her parents.
Some people say that Cao Qian may have bitterness, perhaps the contradictions with her parents have become irreconcilable, Cao Qian wants to be free, and the parents of the Cao family want to control their daughter's life, so it has led to Cao Qian's unilateral death with her parents.
Although there is a Chinese saying that "do not persuade others to be kind without suffering", this sentence is difficult to apply to Cao Qian, first of all, goodness and righteousness can be separated under certain circumstances.
Even if Cao Qian hates being controlled by her parents, then, when her parents are dying, she can actually choose to come back to see, at that time, her parents are old, and she is in her prime, and the excuse of fearing her parents' desire for control cannot be confused.
Another point, but also a point that individuals do not recognize Cao Qian's behavior, that is, her parents are in debt to send her abroad, and after she goes abroad, she has also asked her parents to live for 30,000 or 40,000 yuan in living expenses.
Since she prides herself on her independence and even later decides to break up with her parents, has she ever thought of paying off this debt after she has grown into a "successful woman"? She did not, but simply disappeared from her parents' lives, leaving them with a chicken feather.
Therefore, the sentence that there are parents in the world is a fallacy, even if Cao's father and mother are "yes and no" parents, Cao Qian should also handle everything clearly before she wants to break up the relationship, instead of leaving her parents in debt and worrying about it.