Countering violence with violence will not solve the problem after all.
No matter what kind of child, it is indispensable to make mistakes in the process of growing up, and some mistakes are insignificant things, and parents will only nag twice. But some are things that touch the bottom line, making parents both humiliated and worried.
At this time, most parents can't hold back the anger in their hearts and want to solve it in the simplest and most brutal way, that is, punching and kicking. Does this practice really work?
According to the survey, 90% of children have been beaten by their parents
In one survey, 90% of the 50 children interviewed clearly remembered the scene where they had been beaten, for what reason, who hit them, and even every small detail they could repeat.
At this time, you may say that these children's memory is also too good! Do you have to remember so clearly every time you are beaten, and don't you live in grief all day?
And, shouldn't younger children always remember to eat or not to remember to fight? Not wanting to remember sad memories should have been human nature, but being beaten has become a reality and cannot be forgotten and erased.
"Even if you hit me, I still can't obey"
One of the children interviewed said that I was beaten up because I was the penultimate math test, and when he beat me, he scolded my mother by the way, saying that my mother did not educate me well. And he also said that in the future, he must study hard, and if he still takes such a result, let him know that he will beat me once at a time.
After that, I didn't like math even more, and I even started to give up the subject of math, although I paid a terrible price for it, and I didn't even get into high school, but I didn't regret it.
Hearing such a story, we can't help but feel a little sad. The culprit of the tragedy that happened to this child was his father, who could not have been so rebellious if he had given him more care and helped him to study.
Being beaten not only does not solve the problem, but also intensifies the contradiction
When children are beaten, some parents will always repeatedly force them to admit their mistakes, saying that they will never dare again. Let the child surrender to himself as his own men.
Doesn't that mean there is no respect for the child? If the mistake is really in the child, the parents do not have to repeatedly force the child! If the child insists on not being soft, there is only one possibility, and that is that he is not at fault!
Most parents simply don't delve into the nature of the problem, and they don't want to waste their time or interest in it. Even if he is wrong, it will be solved with a beating.
Professor Shi Dongjian: Scolding children is the inability of parents to educate
Education scholar Shi Dongjian once made clear his views on parents hitting their children in a public speech, that is, he is very opposed! Even deeply resentful diseases.
Every slap a parent slaps on a child will change the child's attitude and destiny. Children who are originally optimistic and positive will become depressed and passive.
It will also accelerate the occurrence of violent sexual behavior in children, because they are treated in this way, and this is how parents solve problems at home, and they will learn this way of behaving.
Moreover, after some children who are vulnerable in their hearts are beaten, they will also have autistic behavior, feeling that they are upsetting their parents, why they are so hateful, they don't like themselves, how sad it will be!
There is no problem that communication cannot solve
When a child commits some bad behavior, the first time parents should not be the result of angry behavior, but should be the result of inquiry behavior. Why does a child behave like this, is this the first time it happens or is it a recurring sexual act?
Only by figuring out the real reason behind this can we find a solution to the problem faster and know how to do the right thing. But in any case, parents should use their fists carefully.
If the child makes such a behavior for the first time, and the parents indiscriminately beat the child, the child will feel that the parent has strengthened his behavior, generated a stronger curiosity, and wants to try one after another.
Maybe they don't want to do this from the bottom of their hearts, but they want to see their parents mad again. In the long run, the parent-child relationship has deteriorated more and more.
Similarly, if the child is a frequent occurrence of such a situation, just a beating can not solve any problem at all, do not find the root of the problem, but make a big fuss on the surface, how can the child convince the parents?
Today's Topic:
Have you ever hit your child with your hand? What was the situation? Do you regret it now? Feel free to share your thoughts with us!