I don't know who said that the more ignorant a man is, the more he wants his lover to understand things. Because he can't tolerate, accommodate, and won't give in. And in love, if a woman is too sensible, it is not a good thing. Light, easy to look uninteresting, heavy, considered to be deceitful, men will be wanton and willful. After careful consideration of this, I think it is quite reasonable.
01
Once, I saw a realistic version of the story of the "crazy woman negative heart" on the Internet: men do business, it has not been smooth, in order to help their husbands get out of trouble, the wife does not hesitate to use credit card loans to repay her husbands, the amount reached more than 1 million. In order to help her husband make a comeback, he even mortgaged his mother's parents' house and loaned it to his husband. Unexpectedly, such a full commitment was exchanged for the complete betrayal of her husband. After her husband's business improved, he cheated on her, not only making Xiao San pregnant, but also blatantly taking Xiao San over to live with them, stepping on her dignity to the bottom of her feet, and refusing to leave her a trace of face and a little way to live. The woman was angry and wanted to drag Xiao San to jump off the building together, but in a hurry, as her beloved husband, she grabbed Xiao San and let her wife jump down from the 28th floor, leaving two poor children.
At first, everyone thought that this wife was just a foolish woman who could not bear the betrayal of her husband, and made a wrong choice in a state of collapse after being mentally devastated and tortured. Everyone scolds the shamelessness of Xiao San and the scumbag, and they all feel that the original treatment is too extreme, the husband is cheating, the little three is pregnant, the big deal is divorce, and it is not worth it to choose this way of "kissing pain, enemies fast". In fact, sometimes things don't happen to you, and you can't empathize with them at all.
Women are naturally easy to obsess over love, especially after getting married, after having children, many women will choose to pour all their efforts into the family, for the sake of husbands and children, silently make a lot of sacrifices. This kind of woman is a "good wife and good mother" in the eyes of men, and it is also the standard for them to warn their wives to "be a sensible" woman. In fact, in feelings and marriages, women who are too "sensible" are often unhappy. Love is mutual support and fulfillment, and in a relationship, if mutual effort becomes a one-man show of your own dedication, you need to think about whether he loves you personally or loves the various benefits you provide him.
02
The bottomless dedication and dedication of "sensible" women does not necessarily lead to happiness
Giving and giving have always been positive words, a noble quality that can be sung and wept. However, in feelings, a woman's bottomless giving and dedication is a very silly and naïve behavior.
Netizen Xiaoyue's encounter makes people sigh, Xiaoyue's boyfriend's family economic conditions are very poor, admitted to college, but can not make up the tuition, Xiaoyue in order to fund her boyfriend, the parents gave her tuition fee to her boyfriend to pay tuition, her own excuse said that she can not withstand the pressure of study, insisting on dropping out of school to work. Most of her monthly salary is given to her boyfriend for living expenses. Not only that, she often found time to go to her boyfriend's house, help with housework and take care of the elderly, and her boyfriend's family and neighbors praised her boyfriend for his good fortune and found such a sensible girl.
In order to let her boyfriend go to school with peace of mind, she only has a high school education, working overtime in the factory day and night, saving herself money, but cleaning up her boyfriend like a "rich second generation". After the boyfriend graduated from college and continued to study graduate school, Xiaoyue ignored the persuasion of her parents and fully supported him for two years as always. Finally, the boyfriend who graduated with a master's degree successfully entered a foreign-funded enterprise. Xiao Yue thought that she would be able to live a good life with her sweetheart from now on, but unexpectedly, her boyfriend said: "Do you think you are worthy of me?" One sentence pushed her into the abyss.
Xiaoyue's story tells us that as a woman, before loving others, you should first learn to love yourself well, and don't think that as long as you sacrifice yourself, you can move others, so as to win the sincerity and love of others. Men will not love a person because they are moved, all dedication and giving can only be based on mutual assistance, in this world, only reciprocal relationships can be long-lasting, only in the situation of taking and giving to maintain a balance, feelings can grow without any mustard.
03
The more "sensible" a woman is, the less men will take her seriously
The more sensible a woman is, the more mature she is. In marriage, sensible women are generally tired, and they take on too much responsibility and pressure on their shoulders. For men, sensible women may be Wangfu, who know how to observe words and colors, and are considerate and gentle. But from a woman's point of view, sensible women often have unfair treatment and it is difficult to have a sense of happiness.
Friends talked about her two sisters-in-law with special emotion. The eldest sister-in-law obeys, but is disliked by the eldest brother; the younger sister-in-law "loves to do", but is spoiled by the little brother as a baby. In real life, those "love to do" women like to play willfully play small tempers and make unreasonable trouble, but they have the means to let men around them. On the contrary, those sensible women, they have no means and intentions, will not "small work", will not be unreasonable, belong to the kind of people who do more and say less, even if the husband does something wrong, they will most of the time understated a sentence "it doesn't matter", just when things have passed. Over time, men will treat this "it doesn't matter" as if it doesn't matter.
A friend's sister-in-law, a standard sensible woman, took care of the housework, the family affairs never let the husband worry, sometimes, the husband did not go well to her temper, she also felt that he earned money to support the family hard enough, and never quarreled with him. She often buys clothes for her husband, children, and in-laws, but rarely thinks about herself, saying that she does not go out at home, does not need, and does not spend the unjust money.
It is such a sensible, thrifty and good woman who does not expect to get in the end what she gets is not the treasure of her husband, but in the end it is a divorce book. She never understood what she had done wrong.
Sensible women, many times, in the eyes of men are insignificant, because they themselves have removed their armor, and they choose to bear and pay silently, they think that this will make men cherish more. But in reality, men will only take for granted everything a woman does.
Some people say that women spend their whole lives, 80% for the family, 10% for themselves, and 10% for the career. However, few men will thank women for this 80%, and they will not be dead to women because of this 80%. A man's love always depends on attraction and conquest, not touching.
04
Women love themselves more and "understand things" less, which is the beginning of happiness for the rest of their lives
There is a saying, "Women who are always bent on perfection often live very tired, because the more you blindly obey and lower the bottom line, the more no one takes you seriously, the more you worry about others, the more no one bothers for you." ”
In the TV series "Yanxi Raiders", the gentle and sensible Empress Fucha was afraid of disturbing the emperor's government affairs, never took the initiative to talk about the depressed things she suffered in the harem, even if she was deeply involved in the pain of losing her son, she also chose to swallow the grievances and pain secretly, until finally depressed, at the last moment of the fall, she asked herself: "I have been virtuous and virtuous all my life, afraid of being disliked by the emperor, so I do not complain, do not envy, do not hate, but in the end, what have I got?" ”
Yes, she did not get anything, what she got was nothing but endless bitterness and helplessness, and even after her death, she fell into a complaint of "not fulfilling the queen's responsibilities".
For modern women, don't have illusions and expectations for men. Because no one in this world can rely on you, only yourself. In the era of such a high rate of infidelity, women must love themselves more than they love men. Women don't love themselves well, and others won't love you well. If you love a man deeply and want a man to love you, you must first learn to love yourself, so that men will think that you are very important.
Just imagine, if the wife who jumped off the building mentioned in the news, if the marriage began, lived a selfish and domineering life, is her husband not so arrogant and unscrupulous, even if the scumbag husband finally wants to live with Xiao San, she can grasp the economic power of the family, have her own independent life, and will not abandon her two children and family and die. Therefore, a woman's love for herself is the guarantee of happiness.
epilogue:
Water to clear the fish. Women don't live too tired of themselves, the burden of understanding things is to be based on love, only men understand that you are not easy, love and marriage can last, you can live happily.
Sensible is an indispensable advantage in marriage, but it is necessary to master the good degree. True love must not be bought by giving and accommodation, but by its own charm to attract. So women, no matter when and at what stage, must maintain their own independent posture. Only their own independence and excellence are truly powerful and can bring happiness to themselves.
May all the women of the world be able to love soberly!
(Image from the Internet)