1, go to eat spicy crayfish with friends, heard a little Lolita at the next table asked her father and mother: "Crayfish was caught by us to eat, will his mother be very sad." The friend replied immediately

1, go to eat spicy crayfish with friends, heard a little Lolita at the next table asked her father and mother: "Crayfish was caught by us to eat, will his mother be very sad." The friend immediately replied, no, because his mother is also in the pot!

2, spent 5 yuan to draw Feng Qiuhuang's skin, immediately played two rounds of ranking. When I was having fun, my wife on the side suddenly said, "Husband, let me wash an apple?" Without looking up, I said, "I'm not going!" The wife got angry and shouted, "Do you dare not listen to the old woman?" I said contemptuously, "I'm not voice-activated!" Just after saying that, my wife slapped me, and I obediently went. The wife laughed and said, "Sample, I also played the touch screen!" ”

3. I remember when I was in kindergarten, I slept with my uncle one night. My uncle was afraid that I would freeze, and as soon as I showed my head, he would stuff me into the quilt. Finally the uncle is on fire: bear child! Why are you constantly drilling out? Why did you get a cold? I cried and said to him: The sweet potatoes I ate in the afternoon were stinking to death in the nest. The uncle also tried to cover his head in the quilt, and as a result, he directly spit on the quilt.

4, today's like you in the second season of the cloud conference, Naza bluntly said that hate too much blowing, too vain, self-righteous, self-righteous, no inclusive, hot and cold boys, is not the most acceptable, should not not be to see the mobile phone?

5, after two years of driving Cruze has a lot of problems, I want to change a Volkswagen Magotan. If I am short of 30,000 yuan for the full amount, I will go to my father to ask for it. If I plan to give it to my father, I will say with dissatisfaction: You don't hurt me at all, am I your own child? Dad jokingly said: How but can ah, must not be picked up! I also jokingly said: I have seen the adoption certificate. Dad was stunned at that time and yelled at my mother: Why don't you hide well!

6, saw two men wrestling together on the street, next to a woman standing in the pulling frame, when I came to the front to see the thin man even scratching the other side without the strength to fight back, I couldn't help but exclaim: "I didn't expect this to look like a 'mother cannon' buddy, so desperate for the beloved woman." As soon as the words fell out, the passer-by A in front of him turned his head and said with a lewd face: "Brother, you want to fork, this female cannon is the original match for abandonment, and the female one is Xiao San." I..........

7, from a netizen to share that he said that from the beginning of his new home, his father has taken over all the decoration and purchase work, and used his straight man's vision and enthusiasm to create a different handwashing station. Friends said that this father must be a person with a story, otherwise how could he "wash his hands in the golden basin".

8, the husband went to work, the wife felt empty in her heart, so she sent a circle of friends and said: Alas! My husband has returned to work, we haven't started yet, and we're bored at home! After a while, the husband suddenly returned, entered the house without a word, looked at each room once and asked: Who do you want to tell when you send the circle of friends? Oh, my God! Is there still the most basic trust between husband and wife?

9, after the husband had an affair, he was discovered by his wife! The wife said to her husband sadly, "Why should you betray me, am I not as good as that fox spirit?" The husband said in a serious tone: "There is no couple who cannot be separated, only the little three who do not work hard." ”

10, the mother three times five divided by two to finish the meal, immediately picked up the mobile phone to play the peace elite. I tasted a bite of the dish, felt a little salty, and complained: Mom, your dish is salty! The old mother did not look up and said: It's okay, you can eat it later when it's salty. Curiously, I asked: What do you mean? Won't be salty when you eat later? Mom said: Yes, time will dilute everything...

11, the wife bought a dress, the original price of five hundred, she took eighty pieces of it, came back quite a lot. The eldest brother-in-law asked, "The counteroffer is so cruel, are others angry?" "No! Just some reluctance! "Oops! You can also cut twenty! The eldest brother-in-law looked sorry and said, "The bargain must be cut until someone else wants to beat you before it can be cut in place!" ”

12, the wife usually does not exercise much, and her physical fitness is also very poor. On weekend breaks, I dragged her out to climb the mountain with me. As a result, she was exhausted and lay motionless on the window when she got home. The next day, I went shopping with my wife, and as I walked, my wife suddenly fell to the ground with her legs weak. She complained loudly: I blame you, it makes people's legs weak! For some reason, I always feel that the eyes of the people around me are a little wrong.....

13, two fishermen in the sea fishing, one day a fisherman hit a mermaid, above the tail of the fish is simply a super beauty, but the fisherman thought about it or let her go. Another fisherman asked puzzledly, "Why?" The fisherman replied, "How?"

14, in the hotel, a guest in the leisure hall bragged about the relationship, there is ability, there is no can not do things, for this kind of person, everyone is tired, a person ridiculed him: "You say what you can't do, this thing I will do for you!" The guest said, "I can't afford to pay the rent." ”