01
According to the "China Statistical Yearbook 2021", in 2020, the number of marriage registrations officially counted totaled 8.1433 million pairs, a record low since 2003.
In 2020, the national marriage rate was 5.8 per thousand, down 0.8 thousand points from the previous year and 4.1 thousand points from 2013, a new low since 1978.
The marriage rate of modern people shows a trend of "only falling and not rising", and even this trend has become a trend. In this regard, we may wish to consider the question, why do modern marriages develop into such a "distorted" appearance?
Wang Bi once said: "Nothing is vain, it must be justified." ”
Everything in this world does not appear randomly, and all problems must have their own reasons. Only by smoothing out the "vein" in it can we see through the essence behind it.
Theoretically, the social material has been greatly enriched, and modern people's marriage should be happier, so why is there a situation of "not marrying"?
You know, everything that is said in theory is beautiful. Reality, on the other hand, is harsh. It is not only people who affect the development of marriage, but also many factors. All this is the contradiction of modern life.
To understand marriage, we might as well start with "human nature."
02
From the level of human needs, the level of "love" belongs to the sub-high level. That is, in addition to self-gratification, love and marriage belong to the top level of needs.
Since primitive humans mastered the skill of making fires and hunting, their survivability has been greatly improved. At this time, they need someone to "accompany".
At the same time, human beings are no longer satisfied with the nature of reproduction, but also want to have spiritual comfort.
In the process of continuous development, human beings have put forward the concept of "love" and produced the pursuit of love. There are even people who sigh that life is precious and love is more expensive.
In agricultural societies, due to the closure of the environment and the need to cultivate labor, both men and women tend to "weavers for men and women" and raise children. In the eyes of people in agricultural society, having a partner, having a field, having children, then life is enough.
When the agricultural society transitioned to an industrial society, most people needed to work in large factories and become members of the machine assembly line. At this time, pressure and oppression will often appear. People's demand for "material" has also increased significantly.
Especially in a society that emphasizes materialism, human nature tends to favor "materiality" and the pursuit of natural greed. As a result, they will gradually alienate love.
When the times have developed to this day, people's emphasis on "material" has reached a peak. In this way, spirit and matter cannot be integrated. Finally, marriage problems arise frequently.
03
In your opinion, what kind of marriage is the marriage that human beings need?
A counselor has made such a point.
In the eyes of men, a real marriage should be a marriage in which men make money, women husbands and children, and both parties help each other. At the very least, the two sides can do the right thing and support each other.
In the eyes of women, true marriage should be love, not the so-called "male outside, female inside" said. At the same time, the pursuit of care and respect, this is the choice of women.
However, there is a great contradiction between these two points. Men are pragmatists and women are half-wave, half-materialists, and when both partners insist on personal opinions, then there will be no good day in the marriage.
This view precisely speaks to the demands and choices of human beings themselves. However, this matter is difficult to complete, and marriage is a compromise after all.
If left in the past, such compromises can still be achieved. But today, everything is a different matter. Because matter is changing people's concepts and also changing people's pursuits.
Men, if they want to get married, must have a car and a house before the age of 30. However, most people are 25 years old after reading books, and they have a car and a house in only five years, which is difficult to do with personal efforts unless their parents help.
Women, with a more free pursuit of love, do not want to be bound by rules and regulations. In their view, people go to high places, water flows to low places, and there is no need to struggle for the crooked neck tree.
Thus, material contradictions arise.
04
A professor made the point that modern marriage is inherently "anti-human."
Both want to be high material, but also want to get sweet love, but the real life is difficult, where is life so cheap? When ideals and reality collide, people's pursuit of marriage is also defeated.
More importantly, because modern people are more open-minded and free,they don't want to be bound by marriage and someone. You know, people are creatures who pursue new things, then they will have a change of heart.
Summarizing the above discussion, all contradictions can be summarized into three points.
First, the contradiction between high-cost marriage and low-cost divorce is not in line with the investment needs of human nature itself.
Second, the needs of men and women are inherently uncompromising, especially in this materialistic society.
Third, the contradiction between bondage and freedom will become more prominent, making infidelity the norm and marriage more unreliable.
These three points are precisely the contradictions of "going against human nature."
Can these contradictions not be overcome? It's not that it can't be overcome, it's that everyone doesn't want to give up their vested interests. Therefore, the marriage rate will decrease, the divorce rate will increase, and the contradiction will enter a dead cycle, and there will never be a normal day.
Wen/Shushan has deer