Introduction
Near the beginning of the school, we launched a specific science popularization of "How to let the child officially close the heart before the beginning of the school", during which a new mother asked: The child's school is the second grade, but since entering the primary school, it is found that the child is less and less confident, is it not adapted to the reading life, or is it really ADHD?
According to Wang's mother's description, Xiao Wang has been praised as an angel baby from birth to 6 years old, mastering 26 letters at the age of four, and can independently assemble train track toys and 100 pieces of puzzles without parental guidance, and has been praised by everyone for being smart, well-behaved and have a high IQ.
But this kind of child's joy of being exaggerated disappeared after Xiao Wang went to the first grade of primary school, and even developed in the opposite direction. The class teacher told Mother Wang that Xiao Wang was not serious in class, loved to lose his mind, and cried his nose when he was criticized. After being reminded by the class teacher, Mother Wang observed her son for a few days and found that the child was really not as cheerful as in kindergarten, became very sensitive, could not bear the denial of classmates, teachers, and parents, and was easy to get angry and cry.
Personality changes are one thing, and changes in grades are particularly prominent. At the end of the school year, Xiao Wang ranked 22nd in a class of fifty people, which was a medium level that Xiao Wang's parents were very unacceptable. In the WeChat consultation with the class teacher, the teacher clearly raised the old problem: inattention, self-esteem is too strong, and the result is very heavy but has a negative effect. The class teacher responsibly raised: these problems have been going on for a year, and I hope that you as parents will pay attention to them.
Xiao Wang's parents are very confused, the child from the can talk, can walk, until before entering the primary school, are the best of their peers, all the way to be exaggerated to grow up, how to enter the primary school after the "invisible"? Is his own child a real case of "hurting Zhongyong"?
After listening to Mother Wang's description, we checked the problem of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (referred to as "ADHD") out of the feedback of the class teacher on Xiao Wang's "inattention", but after a series of professional diagnoses such as face-to-face consultation, interview, and scale evaluation in the hospital, Xiao Wang was not diagnosed with ADHD.
Not ADHD, so what the hell is going on?! In the face of the test results, Mother Wang not only did not feel relieved, but also became more anxious.
Not A baby, but there is a phenomenon of inattention, emotional sensitivity, impulsivity, and regression? We carefully analyzed Xiao Wang's growth history, especially the campus situation after attending primary school, and agreed that the child had emotional problems, and the root cause was that there was a contrast between the feedback received by the child at the kindergarten stage and the primary school stage.
In the kindergarten stage and before, Xiao Wang is obviously good at active learning based on hobbies and interests, parents do not have a score requirement for his puzzles, building blocks and other hobbies, nor will they compare with his peers, Xiao Wang is in a state of no pressure, all encouraged and recognized to grow and develop.
After entering the primary school, Xiao Wang's learning environment has obviously changed, becoming a passive learning led by achievements, and he can clearly feel the pressure from around him: the guidance of teachers, the expectations of parents, the catch-up of peers, accompanied by teachers and parents praising other children, Xiao Wang will feel that other students seem to be better.
Therefore, this contrast between before and after made Xiao Wang personally begin to be confused, unable to recognize in his heart whether he was an excellent person or not.
After understanding the causes and consequences, we suggested to Xiao Wang's parents not to instill the concept of excellence in their children, especially the concept of "you are excellent, you must remain excellent, you need to work hard to become excellent, and you must be the first". This advice is also for parents who are reading this article.
After many smart and clever children enter primary school from kindergarten, parents have felt that they are "invisible", but they have never thought about the change of children's interests from learning to stressful targeted learning, and emotional fluctuations will occur. Bad emotions often lead to children's classroom distraction, emotional sensitivity, crying, restlessness, anxiety, these reactions are the child's normal negative emotional expression.
Hoping for a son to become a dragon and a daughter to become a phoenix is the wish of parents around the world, and there is nothing wrong with it. However, just as Xiao Wang's parents hope that Xiao Wang can change his misconceptions and return to his previous cheerfulness, concentration, and excellence, the most important thing is not to change Xiao Wang, but to change his own concept first. After listening to all the analysis, Xiao Wang's mother agrees with our point of view very much, and intends to start from the new semester to reduce the child's psychology and emotions, and first let the child restore mental health.
This article is reviewed by experts
Wu Weige / Xiamen Xianyue Hospital · Deputy Chief Physician
Expertise: Mainly engaged in medical psychology and the research and clinical diagnosis and treatment of children and adolescents' mental illness, presided over and completed 2 scientific research projects in Fujian Province/Xiamen City.
Zheng Wei / Xiamen Xianyue Hospital · physician
Specialties: children and adolescents with mood disorders, ADHD, tics, autism, gaming disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, etc