Recently, I watched several documentaries on the theme of family and relatives, and I was impressed by a few clips and stories, and I shared them with you.
After reading this, I sincerely sighed that it is really not easy to be a parent in China.
First, the 70-year-old elderly push carts to sell snacks and help their children pay off debts
Aunt Wang, 70 years old this year, is so old, still in the hot weather close to 40 degrees, pushing a small cart to fry oil cakes in the box.
The old neighbor asked her, why is it so hard, don't you have a daughter and a son?
Aunt Wang said:
Daughter, who has not returned home for seven years, and the phone does not come to one, and now she does not know where;
A few years ago (the son) wanted to do business and start a business, three people ran to the house, coaxed and deceived, mortgaged the old house, and exchanged it for money for them.
As a result, the career has collapsed, the family has been ruined, and there are countless debts, and in the end, it is still up to the parents to help their children pay their debts.
Aunt Wang wiped her tears:
"Because I'm a bitch!"
Now because their old houses are mortgaged, the children are renting outside.
In order to save rent, people in their seventies live in the old building without air conditioning and without a separate bathroom.
There are still many debts, and every day, relying on the income from selling fried cakes, plus a few thousand yuan of pensions, the old man is still struggling to pay off the money owed by his children.
It's a very heavy feeling to write here:
The word "struggle" should theoretically not be used for a seventy-year-old man.
In our conventional conception, seventy years old should be the age of nurturing and teasing grandchildren at home.
But the couple is still "struggling" to pay off the debts owed by their children.
I believe they don't want to work so hard if they can, but there's no way – I'm a.
Second, the elderly in rural areas go to the city to help their children with their children, but they are disliked
At the age of 65, Aunt Zhao became a "North Drifter".
She certainly did not come to work in the city like a young man, but to take care of her daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter.
The daughter and son-in-law are usually very busy at work, and the granddaughter is in the second grade of primary school.
The children need to be picked up and dropped off at school, but the daughter and son-in-law have recently been promoted, and the work is busier than before, and there is no time to take care of the children.
At first, the family struggled with whether to let the "mother-in-law" or the "mother-in-law" take care of the children, and argued for several weeks.
In the end, it was decided to let Aunt Zhao, the mother-in-law, take care of it.
Aunt Zhao misses her granddaughter very much, and she also wants to take this opportunity to be closer to her only daughter who has been wandering away for many years.
Her ideal is very plump, but helpless reality bone feeling.
After the daughter and son-in-law returned from work, after eating the meal she made, they went back to their rooms, either continuing to deal with work or reviewing the examination, anyway, they have been busy;
As for the granddaughter, after eating, she basically writes homework, plays with her mobile phone after writing homework, and does not have much communication with her grandmother.
Aunt Zhao herself also understands that the children are working and studying outside, working hard for a day, and going home tired and not wanting to talk, it is normal.
But to say that she is not lonely, not sad, is false.
Another big gap that big cities bring to the elderly is: smart barriers.
Life in the city is cold, Internet-based, and the human touch is getting weaker and weaker.
Between people, there is gradually no need for verbal communication, almost anywhere, the waiter will say to you "please scan the code".
This is a familiar daily routine for young people, but for the elderly who have just come from a closed town, it is tantamount to stepping into a different dimension.
The daughter and son-in-law live in an upscale community in which Aunt Zhao has not made any friends.
Aunt Zhao was lonelier than when she was in her hometown.
In his hometown, he could see relatives and friends, but here, living under the same roof with his daughter and son-in-law and granddaughter, he could not say ten words a day.
Third, the old man with illness to take care of the daily life of his son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter is very hard, but the daughter-in-law said, "I have paid for it."
Aunt Qin is 62 years old this year, and in order to help take care of the third generation, she lives with her son and daughter-in-law.
Aunt Qin was not in good health originally, and at the age of 58, she underwent an operation and took more than half a year to slowly recover.
In this state, she has to take on heavy housework every day, taking care of the family's food and living.
Adult things are easy to say, sons and daughters-in-law also eat a meal at home a day, and it doesn't matter if they occasionally make up.
The key is children, and now children are no better than before.
For this reason, Aunt Qin is learning parenting knowledge every day, worried that her daughter-in-law will dislike her old thinking, she only reads parenting books bought in bookstores, and never reads self-media articles and videos on the Internet.
However, her son and daughter-in-law did not care much about her careful efforts.
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One day I heard my son and daughter-in-law making a noise, and my daughter-in-law said:
"What's so tiring about your mother, and we don't give her money, give her four thousand a month, isn't that enough?" Asking for a babysitter is also this money, and I don't have to look at the face yet. ”
epilogue
I don't know when our society began to form a major pattern change:
From "respecting the old" to "valuing the son".
In the old days, at home, the oldest person was the most vocal.
The old man coughed, and the children and children below could not breathe.
However, now, in a family, the youngest child speaks the number, and everything is based on the needs of the youngest child.
What children need, adults will try to meet.
Many foreign countries are raised to 18 years old and then driven out of the house to earn their own money.
When parents are old, they generally do not ask to live with their children.
The elderly will neither help their children with their children nor ask them to take care of them, because they have a pension for them.
Compared with other places, the intergenerational relationship in our society is very close.
When a person becomes a father or mother, he is closely bound to his children for the rest of his life.
In the documentary, the director asks an old man:
"You've lived for your children all your life, have you ever thought about how to realize your self-worth?"
The old man's face first appeared a blank look, as if he had heard the word "self-worth" for the first time.
After half a moment she shook her head:
"I don't understand that, I just want my child to be happy."
discuss
Some people say that when people get old, they become more and more humble in the face of their children.
What do you think of this statement?
Feel free to share in the comments section.