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Individuals will be interested in the opposite sex at a certain age, which is almost an immutable law, one is that the individual at this time has a physiological curiosity and need for the opposite sex, and the other is to desire the existence of the opposite sex on the emotional and psychological level.
For us, people tend to enter this state when they are adults, and the individual is often a student.
Due to the existence of the college entrance examination, the external pressure experienced by "high school students" and "college students" on the mainland on the issue of love is completely different.
But on college campuses, although love is tacitly allowed, many people will suffer from unpredictable situations due to the lack of experience and young age of students at this time.
Individuals will be interested in the opposite sex at a certain age, which is almost an immutable law, one is that the individual at this time has a physiological curiosity and need for the opposite sex, and the other is to desire the existence of the opposite sex on the emotional and psychological level.
For us, people tend to enter this state when they are adults, and the individual is often a student.
Due to the existence of the college entrance examination, the external pressure experienced by "high school students" and "college students" on the mainland on the issue of love is completely different.
But on college campuses, although love is tacitly allowed, many people will suffer from unpredictable situations due to the lack of experience and young age of students at this time.
Some people may wonder: they are already college students, don't you still understand this kind of thing?
In fact, there is no necessary connection between the two, and from some events, we can even speculate that the more intelligent, tutored, and highly educated women are, the easier it is to meet "scumbags".
Brief description of the case
Individuals will be interested in the opposite sex at a certain age, which is almost an immutable law, one is that the individual at this time has a physiological curiosity and need for the opposite sex, and the other is to desire the existence of the opposite sex on the emotional and psychological level.
For us, people tend to enter this state when they are adults, and the individual is often a student.
Due to the existence of the college entrance examination, the external pressure experienced by "high school students" and "college students" on the mainland on the issue of love is completely different.
But on college campuses, although love is tacitly allowed, many people will suffer from unpredictable situations due to the lack of experience and young age of students at this time.
Some people may wonder: they are already college students, don't you still understand this kind of thing?
In fact, there is no necessary connection between the two, and from some events, we can even speculate that the more intelligent, tutored, and highly educated women are, the easier it is to meet "scumbags".
On October 9, 2019, Bao Li (pseudonym), a female student at Peking University Law School, committed suicide by taking medicine in a hotel in Beijing, and although she was later found and sent to the hospital, Bao Li was declared "brain dead" during the medical treatment.
Later, when the police investigated the case, when searching Bao Li's WeChat chat records, they found that before his suicide, her boyfriend Mu Linhan had put forward a series of incomprehensible requirements such as taking nude photos, getting pregnant first and then miscarrying, keeping medical records, and performing sterilization surgery.
Individuals will be interested in the opposite sex at a certain age, which is almost an immutable law, one is that the individual at this time has a physiological curiosity and need for the opposite sex, and the other is to desire the existence of the opposite sex on the emotional and psychological level.
For us, people tend to enter this state when they are adults, and the individual is often a student.
Due to the existence of the college entrance examination, the external pressure experienced by "high school students" and "college students" on the mainland on the issue of love is completely different.
But on college campuses, although love is tacitly allowed, many people will suffer from unpredictable situations due to the lack of experience and young age of students at this time.
Some people may wonder: they are already college students, don't you still understand this kind of thing?
In fact, there is no necessary connection between the two, and from some events, we can even speculate that the more intelligent, tutored, and highly educated women are, the easier it is to meet "scumbags".
On October 9, 2019, Bao Li (pseudonym), a female student at Peking University Law School, committed suicide by taking medicine in a hotel in Beijing, and although she was later found and sent to the hospital, Bao Li was declared "brain dead" during the medical treatment.
Later, when the police investigated the case, when searching Bao Li's WeChat chat records, they found that before his suicide, her boyfriend Mu Linhan had put forward a series of incomprehensible requirements such as taking nude photos, getting pregnant first and then miscarrying, keeping medical records, and performing sterilization surgery.
Based on this evidence, Bao Li's mother believes that Mu Linhan's torture was the main cause of her daughter Bao Li's suicide. However, his boyfriend Mou Linhan denied this.
Shortly after the case, on December 13, 2019, Peking University revoked Mu Linhan's recommendation to study for graduate school without examination. According to information released by Bao Li's lawyer, she died at noon on April 11, 2020.
On April 12, Bao Li's mother confirmed the news to a media outlet. Regarding this shocking case, netizens on the Internet have launched an overwhelming discussion.
Surprisingly, two Peking University students, who are both student union cadres and have relatively good academic performance, and one person, Bao Yan, actually have so many dark sides in their love.
Individuals will be interested in the opposite sex at a certain age, which is almost an immutable law, one is that the individual at this time has a physiological curiosity and need for the opposite sex, and the other is to desire the existence of the opposite sex on the emotional and psychological level.
For us, people tend to enter this state when they are adults, and the individual is often a student.
Due to the existence of the college entrance examination, the external pressure experienced by "high school students" and "college students" on the mainland on the issue of love is completely different.
But on college campuses, although love is tacitly allowed, many people will suffer from unpredictable situations due to the lack of experience and young age of students at this time.
Some people may wonder: they are already college students, don't you still understand this kind of thing?
In fact, there is no necessary connection between the two, and from some events, we can even speculate that the more intelligent, tutored, and highly educated women are, the easier it is to meet "scumbags".
On October 9, 2019, Bao Li (pseudonym), a female student at Peking University Law School, committed suicide by taking medicine in a hotel in Beijing, and although she was later found and sent to the hospital, Bao Li was declared "brain dead" during the medical treatment.
Later, when the police investigated the case, when searching Bao Li's WeChat chat records, they found that before his suicide, her boyfriend Mu Linhan had put forward a series of incomprehensible requirements such as taking nude photos, getting pregnant first and then miscarrying, keeping medical records, and performing sterilization surgery.
Based on this evidence, Bao Li's mother believes that Mu Linhan's torture was the main cause of her daughter Bao Li's suicide. However, his boyfriend Mou Linhan denied this.
Shortly after the case, on December 13, 2019, Peking University revoked Mu Linhan's recommendation to study for graduate school without examination. According to information released by Bao Li's lawyer, she died at noon on April 11, 2020.
On April 12, Bao Li's mother confirmed the news to a media outlet. Regarding this shocking case, netizens on the Internet have launched an overwhelming discussion.
Surprisingly, two Peking University students, who are both student union cadres and have relatively good academic performance, and one person, Bao Yan, actually have so many dark sides in their love.
Bao Li's encounter deserves sympathy, and we should also think about what kind of enlightenment Bao Li's encounter can bring us.
Gas lamp effect
Individuals will be interested in the opposite sex at a certain age, which is almost an immutable law, one is that the individual at this time has a physiological curiosity and need for the opposite sex, and the other is to desire the existence of the opposite sex on the emotional and psychological level.
For us, people tend to enter this state when they are adults, and the individual is often a student.
Due to the existence of the college entrance examination, the external pressure experienced by "high school students" and "college students" on the mainland on the issue of love is completely different.
But on college campuses, although love is tacitly allowed, many people will suffer from unpredictable situations due to the lack of experience and young age of students at this time.
Some people may wonder: they are already college students, don't you still understand this kind of thing?
In fact, there is no necessary connection between the two, and from some events, we can even speculate that the more intelligent, tutored, and highly educated women are, the easier it is to meet "scumbags".
On October 9, 2019, Bao Li (pseudonym), a female student at Peking University Law School, committed suicide by taking medicine in a hotel in Beijing, and although she was later found and sent to the hospital, Bao Li was declared "brain dead" during the medical treatment.
Later, when the police investigated the case, when searching Bao Li's WeChat chat records, they found that before his suicide, her boyfriend Mu Linhan had put forward a series of incomprehensible requirements such as taking nude photos, getting pregnant first and then miscarrying, keeping medical records, and performing sterilization surgery.
Based on this evidence, Bao Li's mother believes that Mu Linhan's torture was the main cause of her daughter Bao Li's suicide. However, his boyfriend Mou Linhan denied this.
Shortly after the case, on December 13, 2019, Peking University revoked Mu Linhan's recommendation to study for graduate school without examination. According to information released by Bao Li's lawyer, she died at noon on April 11, 2020.
On April 12, Bao Li's mother confirmed the news to a media outlet. Regarding this shocking case, netizens on the Internet have launched an overwhelming discussion.
Surprisingly, two Peking University students, who are both student union cadres and have relatively good academic performance, and one person, Bao Yan, actually have so many dark sides in their love.
Bao Li's encounter deserves sympathy, and we should also think about what kind of enlightenment Bao Li's encounter can bring us.
In the field of psychology, the gas lamp effect, also known as gas lamp tango, gas lamp manipulation, refers to the emotional abuse and manipulation made by the abuser to the victim, and then the victim gradually loses self-esteem, becomes self-doubting, and cannot escape the "clutches" of the abuser.
The 1938 play Gas lamp is the earliest source of this psychological concept. Later, in the early 20th century, after the film "Under the Gaslight", an adaptation of the play script, was broadcast, the concept began to be widely concerned.
In 2007, Dr. Robin Stern, an American psychologist and Ph.D. in the Department of Psychology at New York University, combined 20 years of research and clinical experience to publish "The Gaslight Effect: Away from Emotional Violence and Manipulation Freaks."
Individuals will be interested in the opposite sex at a certain age, which is almost an immutable law, one is that the individual at this time has a physiological curiosity and need for the opposite sex, and the other is to desire the existence of the opposite sex on the emotional and psychological level.
For us, people tend to enter this state when they are adults, and the individual is often a student.
Due to the existence of the college entrance examination, the external pressure experienced by "high school students" and "college students" on the mainland on the issue of love is completely different.
But on college campuses, although love is tacitly allowed, many people will suffer from unpredictable situations due to the lack of experience and young age of students at this time.
Some people may wonder: they are already college students, don't you still understand this kind of thing?
In fact, there is no necessary connection between the two, and from some events, we can even speculate that the more intelligent, tutored, and highly educated women are, the easier it is to meet "scumbags".
On October 9, 2019, Bao Li (pseudonym), a female student at Peking University Law School, committed suicide by taking medicine in a hotel in Beijing, and although she was later found and sent to the hospital, Bao Li was declared "brain dead" during the medical treatment.
Later, when the police investigated the case, when searching Bao Li's WeChat chat records, they found that before his suicide, her boyfriend Mu Linhan had put forward a series of incomprehensible requirements such as taking nude photos, getting pregnant first and then miscarrying, keeping medical records, and performing sterilization surgery.
Based on this evidence, Bao Li's mother believes that Mu Linhan's torture was the main cause of her daughter Bao Li's suicide. However, his boyfriend Mou Linhan denied this.
Shortly after the case, on December 13, 2019, Peking University revoked Mu Linhan's recommendation to study for graduate school without examination. According to information released by Bao Li's lawyer, she died at noon on April 11, 2020.
On April 12, Bao Li's mother confirmed the news to a media outlet. Regarding this shocking case, netizens on the Internet have launched an overwhelming discussion.
Surprisingly, two Peking University students, who are both student union cadres and have relatively good academic performance, and one person, Bao Yan, actually have so many dark sides in their love.
Bao Li's encounter deserves sympathy, and we should also think about what kind of enlightenment Bao Li's encounter can bring us.
In the field of psychology, the gas lamp effect, also known as gas lamp tango, gas lamp manipulation, refers to the emotional abuse and manipulation made by the abuser to the victim, and then the victim gradually loses self-esteem, becomes self-doubting, and cannot escape the "clutches" of the abuser.
The 1938 play Gas lamp is the earliest source of this psychological concept. Later, in the early 20th century, after the film "Under the Gaslight", an adaptation of the play script, was broadcast, the concept began to be widely concerned.
In 2007, Dr. Robin Stern, an American psychologist and Ph.D. in the Department of Psychology at New York University, combined 20 years of research and clinical experience to publish "The Gaslight Effect: Away from Emotional Violence and Manipulation Freaks."
After the publication of this work, the "gas lamp effect" was widely used in the field of psychology( especially clinical psychology). In recent years, it has also appeared in the fields of sociology and political science, which can be described as widely influential.
In the Case of Bao Li, this phenomenon clearly exists.
Bao Li's WeChat chat records show that during her relationship with her boyfriend, her boyfriend Mou Linhan once used a lot of insulting words against Bao Li, forcing Bao Li to call himself "master", and even asked Bao Li to tattoo the words "Mu Linhan's dog" on his body, and recorded the whole process during the tattoo process.
One word that exploded on the Internet at the same time as the case was "PUA."
The term originally meant "Pick-up Artist", originally meaning "pick-up artist", and was later extended to the act of mentally controlling others.
Individuals will be interested in the opposite sex at a certain age, which is almost an immutable law, one is that the individual at this time has a physiological curiosity and need for the opposite sex, and the other is to desire the existence of the opposite sex on the emotional and psychological level.
For us, people tend to enter this state when they are adults, and the individual is often a student.
Due to the existence of the college entrance examination, the external pressure experienced by "high school students" and "college students" on the mainland on the issue of love is completely different.
But on college campuses, although love is tacitly allowed, many people will suffer from unpredictable situations due to the lack of experience and young age of students at this time.
Some people may wonder: they are already college students, don't you still understand this kind of thing?
In fact, there is no necessary connection between the two, and from some events, we can even speculate that the more intelligent, tutored, and highly educated women are, the easier it is to meet "scumbags".
On October 9, 2019, Bao Li (pseudonym), a female student at Peking University Law School, committed suicide by taking medicine in a hotel in Beijing, and although she was later found and sent to the hospital, Bao Li was declared "brain dead" during the medical treatment.
Later, when the police investigated the case, when searching Bao Li's WeChat chat records, they found that before his suicide, her boyfriend Mu Linhan had put forward a series of incomprehensible requirements such as taking nude photos, getting pregnant first and then miscarrying, keeping medical records, and performing sterilization surgery.
Based on this evidence, Bao Li's mother believes that Mu Linhan's torture was the main cause of her daughter Bao Li's suicide. However, his boyfriend Mou Linhan denied this.
Shortly after the case, on December 13, 2019, Peking University revoked Mu Linhan's recommendation to study for graduate school without examination. According to information released by Bao Li's lawyer, she died at noon on April 11, 2020.
On April 12, Bao Li's mother confirmed the news to a media outlet. Regarding this shocking case, netizens on the Internet have launched an overwhelming discussion.
Surprisingly, two Peking University students, who are both student union cadres and have relatively good academic performance, and one person, Bao Yan, actually have so many dark sides in their love.
Bao Li's encounter deserves sympathy, and we should also think about what kind of enlightenment Bao Li's encounter can bring us.
In the field of psychology, the gas lamp effect, also known as gas lamp tango, gas lamp manipulation, refers to the emotional abuse and manipulation made by the abuser to the victim, and then the victim gradually loses self-esteem, becomes self-doubting, and cannot escape the "clutches" of the abuser.
The 1938 play Gas lamp is the earliest source of this psychological concept. Later, in the early 20th century, after the film "Under the Gaslight", an adaptation of the play script, was broadcast, the concept began to be widely concerned.
In 2007, Dr. Robin Stern, an American psychologist and Ph.D. in the Department of Psychology at New York University, combined 20 years of research and clinical experience to publish "The Gaslight Effect: Away from Emotional Violence and Manipulation Freaks."
After the publication of this work, the "gas lamp effect" was widely used in the field of psychology( especially clinical psychology). In recent years, it has also appeared in the fields of sociology and political science, which can be described as widely influential.
In the Case of Bao Li, this phenomenon clearly exists.
Bao Li's WeChat chat records show that during her relationship with her boyfriend, her boyfriend Mou Linhan once used a lot of insulting words against Bao Li, forcing Bao Li to call himself "master", and even asked Bao Li to tattoo the words "Mu Linhan's dog" on his body, and recorded the whole process during the tattoo process.
One word that exploded on the Internet at the same time as the case was "PUA."
The term originally meant "Pick-up Artist", originally meaning "pick-up artist", and was later extended to the act of mentally controlling others.
In fact, in our daily life, the more we will come into contact with some people with a strong desire to control, they will often instill their own values and views into others, and subtly lead to control over others.
Bao Li was controlled by this kind, and formed a spiritual dependence on Mu Linhan, it was difficult to break up with the other party, and could only obey his demands, which eventually led to a tragedy.
One may wonder: How can a Peking University student with a good family education and excellent grades be affected by this "trick"?
The sadness of the "good girl"
Individuals will be interested in the opposite sex at a certain age, which is almost an immutable law, one is that the individual at this time has a physiological curiosity and need for the opposite sex, and the other is to desire the existence of the opposite sex on the emotional and psychological level.
For us, people tend to enter this state when they are adults, and the individual is often a student.
Due to the existence of the college entrance examination, the external pressure experienced by "high school students" and "college students" on the mainland on the issue of love is completely different.
But on college campuses, although love is tacitly allowed, many people will suffer from unpredictable situations due to the lack of experience and young age of students at this time.
Some people may wonder: they are already college students, don't you still understand this kind of thing?
In fact, there is no necessary connection between the two, and from some events, we can even speculate that the more intelligent, tutored, and highly educated women are, the easier it is to meet "scumbags".
On October 9, 2019, Bao Li (pseudonym), a female student at Peking University Law School, committed suicide by taking medicine in a hotel in Beijing, and although she was later found and sent to the hospital, Bao Li was declared "brain dead" during the medical treatment.
Later, when the police investigated the case, when searching Bao Li's WeChat chat records, they found that before his suicide, her boyfriend Mu Linhan had put forward a series of incomprehensible requirements such as taking nude photos, getting pregnant first and then miscarrying, keeping medical records, and performing sterilization surgery.
Based on this evidence, Bao Li's mother believes that Mu Linhan's torture was the main cause of her daughter Bao Li's suicide. However, his boyfriend Mou Linhan denied this.
Shortly after the case, on December 13, 2019, Peking University revoked Mu Linhan's recommendation to study for graduate school without examination. According to information released by Bao Li's lawyer, she died at noon on April 11, 2020.
On April 12, Bao Li's mother confirmed the news to a media outlet. Regarding this shocking case, netizens on the Internet have launched an overwhelming discussion.
Surprisingly, two Peking University students, who are both student union cadres and have relatively good academic performance, and one person, Bao Yan, actually have so many dark sides in their love.
Bao Li's encounter deserves sympathy, and we should also think about what kind of enlightenment Bao Li's encounter can bring us.
In the field of psychology, the gas lamp effect, also known as gas lamp tango, gas lamp manipulation, refers to the emotional abuse and manipulation made by the abuser to the victim, and then the victim gradually loses self-esteem, becomes self-doubting, and cannot escape the "clutches" of the abuser.
The 1938 play Gas lamp is the earliest source of this psychological concept. Later, in the early 20th century, after the film "Under the Gaslight", an adaptation of the play script, was broadcast, the concept began to be widely concerned.
In 2007, Dr. Robin Stern, an American psychologist and Ph.D. in the Department of Psychology at New York University, combined 20 years of research and clinical experience to publish "The Gaslight Effect: Away from Emotional Violence and Manipulation Freaks."
After the publication of this work, the "gas lamp effect" was widely used in the field of psychology( especially clinical psychology). In recent years, it has also appeared in the fields of sociology and political science, which can be described as widely influential.
In the Case of Bao Li, this phenomenon clearly exists.
Bao Li's WeChat chat records show that during her relationship with her boyfriend, her boyfriend Mou Linhan once used a lot of insulting words against Bao Li, forcing Bao Li to call himself "master", and even asked Bao Li to tattoo the words "Mu Linhan's dog" on his body, and recorded the whole process during the tattoo process.
One word that exploded on the Internet at the same time as the case was "PUA."
The term originally meant "Pick-up Artist", originally meaning "pick-up artist", and was later extended to the act of mentally controlling others.
In fact, in our daily life, the more we will come into contact with some people with a strong desire to control, they will often instill their own values and views into others, and subtly lead to control over others.
Bao Li was controlled by this kind, and formed a spiritual dependence on Mu Linhan, it was difficult to break up with the other party, and could only obey his demands, which eventually led to a tragedy.
One may wonder: How can a Peking University student with a good family education and excellent grades be affected by this "trick"?
In fact, in China, girls like Bao Li can almost be regarded as one of people's favorite types of children - mild personality, excellent grades and more obedient, which also reflects a major feature of Chinese education: children should be "obedient".
As a parent, you also have to think about the question of whether you will become incapable of thinking when you continue to instill such ideas into your child, after all, it is difficult for children to do the same thing at a young age.
Especially for girls, in their growth environment, there are too many things that are asked by parents to "can't do" and "can't", and their more docile personality often leads to some girls becoming more "obedient", even when getting along with peers, they will be more "soft in the ear", and "do not refuse" for the requirements of others.
Individuals will be interested in the opposite sex at a certain age, which is almost an immutable law, one is that the individual at this time has a physiological curiosity and need for the opposite sex, and the other is to desire the existence of the opposite sex on the emotional and psychological level.
For us, people tend to enter this state when they are adults, and the individual is often a student.
Due to the existence of the college entrance examination, the external pressure experienced by "high school students" and "college students" on the mainland on the issue of love is completely different.
But on college campuses, although love is tacitly allowed, many people will suffer from unpredictable situations due to the lack of experience and young age of students at this time.
Some people may wonder: they are already college students, don't you still understand this kind of thing?
In fact, there is no necessary connection between the two, and from some events, we can even speculate that the more intelligent, tutored, and highly educated women are, the easier it is to meet "scumbags".
On October 9, 2019, Bao Li (pseudonym), a female student at Peking University Law School, committed suicide by taking medicine in a hotel in Beijing, and although she was later found and sent to the hospital, Bao Li was declared "brain dead" during the medical treatment.
Later, when the police investigated the case, when searching Bao Li's WeChat chat records, they found that before his suicide, her boyfriend Mu Linhan had put forward a series of incomprehensible requirements such as taking nude photos, getting pregnant first and then miscarrying, keeping medical records, and performing sterilization surgery.
Based on this evidence, Bao Li's mother believes that Mu Linhan's torture was the main cause of her daughter Bao Li's suicide. However, his boyfriend Mou Linhan denied this.
Shortly after the case, on December 13, 2019, Peking University revoked Mu Linhan's recommendation to study for graduate school without examination. According to information released by Bao Li's lawyer, she died at noon on April 11, 2020.
On April 12, Bao Li's mother confirmed the news to a media outlet. Regarding this shocking case, netizens on the Internet have launched an overwhelming discussion.
Surprisingly, two Peking University students, who are both student union cadres and have relatively good academic performance, and one person, Bao Yan, actually have so many dark sides in their love.
Bao Li's encounter deserves sympathy, and we should also think about what kind of enlightenment Bao Li's encounter can bring us.
In the field of psychology, the gas lamp effect, also known as gas lamp tango, gas lamp manipulation, refers to the emotional abuse and manipulation made by the abuser to the victim, and then the victim gradually loses self-esteem, becomes self-doubting, and cannot escape the "clutches" of the abuser.
The 1938 play Gas lamp is the earliest source of this psychological concept. Later, in the early 20th century, after the film "Under the Gaslight", an adaptation of the play script, was broadcast, the concept began to be widely concerned.
In 2007, Dr. Robin Stern, an American psychologist and Ph.D. in the Department of Psychology at New York University, combined 20 years of research and clinical experience to publish "The Gaslight Effect: Away from Emotional Violence and Manipulation Freaks."
After the publication of this work, the "gas lamp effect" was widely used in the field of psychology( especially clinical psychology). In recent years, it has also appeared in the fields of sociology and political science, which can be described as widely influential.
In the Case of Bao Li, this phenomenon clearly exists.
Bao Li's WeChat chat records show that during her relationship with her boyfriend, her boyfriend Mou Linhan once used a lot of insulting words against Bao Li, forcing Bao Li to call himself "master", and even asked Bao Li to tattoo the words "Mu Linhan's dog" on his body, and recorded the whole process during the tattoo process.
One word that exploded on the Internet at the same time as the case was "PUA."
The term originally meant "Pick-up Artist", originally meaning "pick-up artist", and was later extended to the act of mentally controlling others.
In fact, in our daily life, the more we will come into contact with some people with a strong desire to control, they will often instill their own values and views into others, and subtly lead to control over others.
Bao Li was controlled by this kind, and formed a spiritual dependence on Mu Linhan, it was difficult to break up with the other party, and could only obey his demands, which eventually led to a tragedy.
One may wonder: How can a Peking University student with a good family education and excellent grades be affected by this "trick"?
In fact, in China, girls like Bao Li can almost be regarded as one of people's favorite types of children - mild personality, excellent grades and more obedient, which also reflects a major feature of Chinese education: children should be "obedient".
As a parent, you also have to think about the question of whether you will become incapable of thinking when you continue to instill such ideas into your child, after all, it is difficult for children to do the same thing at a young age.
Especially for girls, in their growth environment, there are too many things that are asked by parents to "can't do" and "can't", and their more docile personality often leads to some girls becoming more "obedient", even when getting along with peers, they will be more "soft in the ear", and "do not refuse" for the requirements of others.
Education and examination can only improve people's learning ability, and it is actually difficult to improve the ability to judge right and wrong.
For girls like Bao Li, after a hard study life to enter the university, the environment after that is difficult for parents to reach, sometimes in the face of difficult problems, they are difficult to solve by their own will, more often can only rely on the views of others; and the university is a "small society", in which people have different personalities and interact with people are not the same.
If you really love your child, don't insist that she must be obedient, but let her have the ability to think independently and realize her subjectivity as a person.
So in general, those "well-behaved women" who listen to their parents, have a docile personality, have excellent grades and are more introverted, will face greater risks when facing social interactions alone.
Individuals will be interested in the opposite sex at a certain age, which is almost an immutable law, one is that the individual at this time has a physiological curiosity and need for the opposite sex, and the other is to desire the existence of the opposite sex on the emotional and psychological level.
For us, people tend to enter this state when they are adults, and the individual is often a student.
Due to the existence of the college entrance examination, the external pressure experienced by "high school students" and "college students" on the mainland on the issue of love is completely different.
But on college campuses, although love is tacitly allowed, many people will suffer from unpredictable situations due to the lack of experience and young age of students at this time.
Some people may wonder: they are already college students, don't you still understand this kind of thing?
In fact, there is no necessary connection between the two, and from some events, we can even speculate that the more intelligent, tutored, and highly educated women are, the easier it is to meet "scumbags".
On October 9, 2019, Bao Li (pseudonym), a female student at Peking University Law School, committed suicide by taking medicine in a hotel in Beijing, and although she was later found and sent to the hospital, Bao Li was declared "brain dead" during the medical treatment.
Later, when the police investigated the case, when searching Bao Li's WeChat chat records, they found that before his suicide, her boyfriend Mu Linhan had put forward a series of incomprehensible requirements such as taking nude photos, getting pregnant first and then miscarrying, keeping medical records, and performing sterilization surgery.
Based on this evidence, Bao Li's mother believes that Mu Linhan's torture was the main cause of her daughter Bao Li's suicide. However, his boyfriend Mou Linhan denied this.
Shortly after the case, on December 13, 2019, Peking University revoked Mu Linhan's recommendation to study for graduate school without examination. According to information released by Bao Li's lawyer, she died at noon on April 11, 2020.
On April 12, Bao Li's mother confirmed the news to a media outlet. Regarding this shocking case, netizens on the Internet have launched an overwhelming discussion.
Surprisingly, two Peking University students, who are both student union cadres and have relatively good academic performance, and one person, Bao Yan, actually have so many dark sides in their love.
Bao Li's encounter deserves sympathy, and we should also think about what kind of enlightenment Bao Li's encounter can bring us.
In the field of psychology, the gas lamp effect, also known as gas lamp tango, gas lamp manipulation, refers to the emotional abuse and manipulation made by the abuser to the victim, and then the victim gradually loses self-esteem, becomes self-doubting, and cannot escape the "clutches" of the abuser.
The 1938 play Gas lamp is the earliest source of this psychological concept. Later, in the early 20th century, after the film "Under the Gaslight", an adaptation of the play script, was broadcast, the concept began to be widely concerned.
In 2007, Dr. Robin Stern, an American psychologist and Ph.D. in the Department of Psychology at New York University, combined 20 years of research and clinical experience to publish "The Gaslight Effect: Away from Emotional Violence and Manipulation Freaks."
After the publication of this work, the "gas lamp effect" was widely used in the field of psychology( especially clinical psychology). In recent years, it has also appeared in the fields of sociology and political science, which can be described as widely influential.
In the Case of Bao Li, this phenomenon clearly exists.
Bao Li's WeChat chat records show that during her relationship with her boyfriend, her boyfriend Mou Linhan once used a lot of insulting words against Bao Li, forcing Bao Li to call himself "master", and even asked Bao Li to tattoo the words "Mu Linhan's dog" on his body, and recorded the whole process during the tattoo process.
One word that exploded on the Internet at the same time as the case was "PUA."
The term originally meant "Pick-up Artist", originally meaning "pick-up artist", and was later extended to the act of mentally controlling others.
In fact, in our daily life, the more we will come into contact with some people with a strong desire to control, they will often instill their own values and views into others, and subtly lead to control over others.
Bao Li was controlled by this kind, and formed a spiritual dependence on Mu Linhan, it was difficult to break up with the other party, and could only obey his demands, which eventually led to a tragedy.
One may wonder: How can a Peking University student with a good family education and excellent grades be affected by this "trick"?
In fact, in China, girls like Bao Li can almost be regarded as one of people's favorite types of children - mild personality, excellent grades and more obedient, which also reflects a major feature of Chinese education: children should be "obedient".
As a parent, you also have to think about the question of whether you will become incapable of thinking when you continue to instill such ideas into your child, after all, it is difficult for children to do the same thing at a young age.
Especially for girls, in their growth environment, there are too many things that are asked by parents to "can't do" and "can't", and their more docile personality often leads to some girls becoming more "obedient", even when getting along with peers, they will be more "soft in the ear", and "do not refuse" for the requirements of others.
Education and examination can only improve people's learning ability, and it is actually difficult to improve the ability to judge right and wrong.
For girls like Bao Li, after a hard study life to enter the university, the environment after that is difficult for parents to reach, sometimes in the face of difficult problems, they are difficult to solve by their own will, more often can only rely on the views of others; and the university is a "small society", in which people have different personalities and interact with people are not the same.
If you really love your child, don't insist that she must be obedient, but let her have the ability to think independently and realize her subjectivity as a person.
So in general, those "well-behaved women" who listen to their parents, have a docile personality, have excellent grades and are more introverted, will face greater risks when facing social interactions alone.
When you find yourself one of these people, or when you, as a parent, find that your children have such tendencies, you must overcome these weaknesses in order to avoid some of the tragedies that may occur.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
Edit | Rain
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：Vogel, D. L., & Wester, S. R. (2003). To seek help or not to seek help: The risks of self-disclosure. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 50(3), 351.
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