The Atlanta Daily newspaper in the United States once did a social survey and found that some rituals bring children a sense of happiness far more than material satisfaction or even academic success.
These rituals may be gifts carefully prepared by parents on birthdays, or they may be just some small scenes in life, but they give children the greatest sense of security.
Living in a family with a sense of ceremony, children are happier.
What is the sense of ceremony
In the book "The Little Prince", the little prince asks the fox brother, "What is the sense of ceremony?" The fox said, "It is to make a certain day different from other times, to make a certain moment different from other times." ”
It is this difference that allows children to feel that their lives are different, impressive, and fresh in their memories.
But the truth is that a lot of Chinese parents don't realize the importance of ritual! According to the social survey results of China Youth Daily, 61.5% of people believe that the sense of family ritual is getting weaker and weaker, which shows that Chinese families lack a kind of ritual education!
Take the Spring Festival, for example, with the improvement of living standards, the year has lost its appeal to many young people! The taste of the year is getting weaker and weaker, and some children will even say: "Mom, this year is not interesting at all?" I don't want to live! ”
The mom was surprised and asked, "Why?" Isn't it possible to wear new clothes and eat delicious food for the New Year? And the money! "What's this?" Don't I have new clothes to wear every three to five years, and have good food every day? Isn't there also pocket money! ”
Yes, today's children can no longer feel the longing for the year when we were children!
So, what is a sense of ritual? It's not abstract or complicated! It does not require parents to do anything spectacular, only parents in daily life to pay attention to small details, give it a ritual, so that everything has a special meaning!
It is also not a pretense, nor is it to meet all the needs of children, but an emotional need, and it is the full love of parents for their children behind them!
Homeschooling requires a sense of ritual
I once watched a TED talk called "Father-Daughter Love, One Shot a Year", the speaker was the famous American photographer Steven Addis, and he shared the story of 15 photos.
These photos are an agreement that he and his daughter have maintained for 15 years, that is, every year on her daughter's birthday, father and daughter travel to the same place and take pictures together on New York Avenue!
For the father, the photo witnesses the growth of the child and preserves the best memories between father and daughter, while for the daughter, a happy smile is a continuation of family happiness!
A psychologist once said that children's normal physical and mental growth requires a certain sense of ritual. And this little ritual is permeated with strong self-suggestion, so that children can have the right values, gain a sense of security and happiness through positive affirmation!
And the ceremony that parents give to their children, not only on special days, even in ordinary times, children go out to love hugs, a story before going to bed, a good night... Both can be a ritual.
These small and small things are all out of ordinary life, but he will be soaked into the blood and bones of the child, and become a sense of security, happiness, and belonging as he grows older! And the sense of security, let children understand that home is always their strongest backing and harbor!
How to cultivate a sense of ritual in children
The child is growing up too fast, yesterday he seems to be still swaddled and crying, today he has grown faster than your head! What we hope is that while they are still dependent on us, we can give them a rich sense of moving experience and ritual!
Especially family rituals, the sense of ritual established by parents to children is the taste of home, is a kind of happiness inheritance, and the memories it leaves behind will bring a steady stream of happiness, and will not change because of changes in life!
Then to build your sense of family ritual, you can start from the small daily things:
Take your children on holidays to experience folklore
We say that the taste of the festival is now weak, but as a parent, you can dig on your own, such as the Dragon Boat Festival with your children to wrap rice dumplings and make sachets; the New Year with your children to the farmers' market to buy New Year goods, let the children paste the couplet window flowers, especially some local celebrations that still retain strong folk festivals, you can take your children to feel!
Special festivals create a sense of ceremony
For example, take a family portrait on the first day of the New Year, write a letter to the child on the child's birthday, clip and play the photos about the child, and finally after years of accumulation, it will be given as a gift when the child is an adult!
There is also your wedding anniversary, not only can you show your love, you can also take your children, you see every year Deng Chao Sun Li wedding day, not only show love, children will also solemnly send blessings to their parents!
Children must participate in important activities
The key activities of children's growth include the child's first schooling, the child's 18-year-old coming-of-age ceremony, the child's graduation ceremony, etc. British parents will let him wear the school uniform neatly on the first day of the child's primary school, and pick up the school bag to take a photo at the door of the home to send a "circle of friends", thus swearing that my child began to be independent and began to embark on a new stage of life!
These important rituals for children can let children integrate safety, happiness, and responsibility into their bones and blood! A trip, a movie, a hug out, a bedtime story goodnight... Even if a flower and a grass, a line, you give it a special ritual, it will become a part of the child's life, a part of growth!
Find a family ritual that belongs to your family, solidify it, beautify it, and insist on becoming a tradition of your family!