01
What do you think of the so-called "rules"?
I personally feel that "people are alive, rules are dead", some unreasonable feudal scum should be discarded rather than still followed, the times have changed, your thinking should also change, rather than sticking to the rules, becoming old stubborn. What age, still following some old habits, don't care about what face, you care how others look at you, just manage yourself. Who loves to laugh and makes them laugh, people with strong hearts really don't care so much.
Seeing that there is still half a month to go before the New Year, we also know that there are many rules for the New Year, which also causes some people to hate the New Year. I don't know if you have ever heard of such a rule, saying that divorced women are unknown to their mother's family, and if a divorced woman returns to her mother's house for the New Year, she will cut off her brother's financial road. This old idea also leads to some divorced women not being able to return to their mother's house during the New Year. Even some divorced women are very afraid of the New Year and will feel very lonely.
The reader waited for the flowers to bloom and said to me: "I don't believe in this, but my sister-in-law believes, so much so that after I get married, I can only go home for the New Year in the second year of junior high school." I am far married, I can only go home once a year, and I have not gone back to the New Year for two years because of the epidemic. I wanted to go back early this year, but who knows my sister-in-law believes this, and I am very unhappy about going back to the New Year. Now that the epidemic is getting worse, I'm afraid I won't be able to go back this year. ”
Although it is 2022, there are still some people who care about the so-called rules and customs.
They feel that divorced women are "lost stars", and if they go back to their mother's house for the New Year, they will lose the face of their mother's family. The city may be relatively better, but in some remote rural areas, there is a lot of care. Some people say that the spit stars in the village can drown people, and may not be able to accept divorce. I personally have this view, no matter what others say, I have to have my own ideas, is it difficult for my daughter to come back for the New Year, can you still let her have a home and can't go back? But no biological parent would do such a thing.
The reason for writing this article stemmed from the confession of a divorced woman who said that she had not been home for the New Year for five or six years because her mother would not let her go home for the New Year.
02
Wu Min has not returned to her mother's house for the New Year since she got divorced, and she has become accustomed to it over the years, and anyway, a person with her son can live very well. Many people say that divorced women have no home, because the in-laws are no longer home, and the mother's family is not home, but in Wu Min's view, she and her son are really a family, she does not care about what kind of mother's family, now for her and her son, the most important thing is that they have to live their own little life.
Now Wu Min wants to open, and she doesn't have any thoughts about her mother's family.
In fact, when she first divorced, Wu Min was not so strong, and she also wanted to go home for the First Year of Divorce, but what surprised her was that when she called her mother, her mother did not let her go home for the New Year: "You are divorced, why do you go home for the New Year?" If you think about how big our village is, how many people will see you when you come back with your son. You are divorced, your mother did not say anything about your divorce, if you are in your mother's house for the New Year, the neighbors will gossip. Don't come back, don't come to see us, we have your brother to take care of it." ”
Hearing her mother say this, Wu Min was very cold, she did not expect that it was her mother who stopped her from going home for the New Year.
In the first year of divorce, Wu Min obeyed her mother's words and did not go home for the New Year; in the second year of divorce, Wu Min Chinese New Year's Eve that day was the New Year with her son in the town's hotel, and when she waited until the second day of the Chinese New Year, she took her son back to her mother's house; in the third year of divorce, Wu Min simply found an excuse not to go back, and she would send clothes and nutritional products to her parents in the New Year, but she herself did not want to go back to the New Year.
In the words of Wu Min: "When I need warmth, you treat me as a 'death star', and no one pulls me, so I don't have to be so good to you." ”
Wu Min gradually got used to living alone with her son, and she didn't need any help from her mother's family, how was her life with her children after divorce? It's just that life is a little harder, but it can still be lived. Now she has also adapted to life after the divorce, anyway, every year with her son for the New Year, the two of them are the real family.
In the past, Wu Min still cared about how people looked at her, and now Wu Min only wanted to live her own life.
Wu Min has now changed her mind and is no longer affected by those old customs and old rules, she can be very strong alone, after all, we are living for ourselves.
Dong Ling, who is also a divorced woman, is quite lucky because she has a good brother. When Dong Ling first divorced, her mother did not let her go home for the New Year, and every time she went back to her mother, she let her stay in the hotel, because her mother felt that if she was at home for the New Year, she would cut off her son's financial road. Later, when the younger brother heard about this, he called out to his mother on the spot: "Mom, the rules are dead, but people are alive, is it difficult for you to let my sister spend the New Year outside all the time?" My sister got divorced and what happened to her, and whether she was at fault. I don't believe that my sister's return for the New Year will cut off my financial path, what feudal ideas. ”
The younger brother took Dong Ling and the child back for the New Year, and it is strange to say that the younger brother's financial road was not only not broken, but also made a lot of money.
I wrote the story of Wu Min and Dong Ling, mainly to tell divorced women: Don't care how the people around you look at you, if your mother's family does not accept you going home for the New Year, simply live by yourself, don't think that they look down on you how sad and miserable it is, we just live our own lives.
I also want to tell those feudal mothers and families: Learn to change your mind, is the rule more important than your own biological daughter? When they encounter difficult things, only your mother's family can pull her aside, don't let her chill.
03
In the past two years, because of the epidemic, in fact, you will find that many old rules and old rules have disappeared, and now you can go home for the New Year to cherish it, because it is too difficult to go home for the New Year. I haven't been back to my hometown for the New Year for three years, not because my family won't let me go back, but because of my children and various things, I really can't get out. I really want to go back, but I can't go back this year, because our hometown of Henan has an epidemic and can't go back.
We will find that now in the New Year, some of the rules are no longer so important.
The New Year was originally a celebration, there is no need to follow the so-called rules toss yourself.
There is also face, don't care about others so much, you just manage yourself. The more you care about the so-called face, the more others will bully you. If they dare to say it to your face, you will be tough to go back; if they say it behind their backs, let them say, "left ear in the right ear out", be strong in the heart, don't let others bully you verbally.
Divorced women are not easy, and I hope that when they need help, the mother's family can pull her along. Divorced women are not a mourning star, if she really wants to go home for the New Year, as a relative, she must open the door, rather than turn them away. Be more tolerant and understanding between relatives.
"After the divorce, my mother didn't let me go home for the New Year": how many divorced women's real lives were torn apart.
It may be difficult, but please be strong, everything will be fine, if your loved ones do not understand you, then you simply live your own life. Don't feel lonely, you can live your own life with a strong heart, know that you and your children, you are the real family.
Learn Liu Xiaomin in "Xiaomin's Family", divorced, but also to manage your life, that really belongs to you.
Today's topic: In your place, can divorced women go home for the New Year? Welcome to leave a message to discuss.
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★ Author: YIBAO; emotional original author, writing about the warm emotional affairs of this world.