When two people are together, the most important sense of experience is comfort, freedom and steadfastness, all three are indispensable.
Some loves look vigorous, but the people in it are miserable.
Because they feel depressed all the time, lovers bind themselves in the name of love.
The so-called love is pervasive, and it is almost overwhelmed.
Such love is precarious, may be about to reach the end of the fate, how can it make men love women to the point of obsession?
Therefore, psychological research has shown that most women who can be pampered by men have such a commonality, that is, men will have a comfortable feeling when they are with them.
So, how did this comforting feeling come about?
They don't invade other people's space in the name of love
There is a hedgehog effect in psychology, which means that when people get along with each other, they cannot get too close to each other, otherwise they will increase unnecessary contradictions, and only by maintaining a proper distance can two people achieve the purpose of heating each other without stabbing each other.
In real life, the so-called hedgehog effect includes distances, which can be subdivided into two types: time distance and spatial distance.
The so-called time distance refers to the fact that each of us has our own time.
We can't take up other people's time regardless of when we have nothing to do or are not busy, affecting other people's work and normal life, and in the long run, it is bound to affect the feelings of two people.
The so-called spatial distance refers to the actual distance maintained by two people when they are facing each other, if we can get along with others, to narrow the spatial distance between each other.
Then in the relationship between the sexes, it is also possible to appropriately close the distance between each other's hearts and minds, which is the clever use of "space invasion".
Of course, distance produces beauty, and even two people who are close need to maintain a certain distance to respect each other.
So, most of the women who make men feel comfortable and comfortable understand this, so they will reserve the right space when dealing with feelings, not too sticky, not too glued.
They don't overboard their egos, but think about their other half
In the TV series "Beauty Plan", Lü Yan has a tiger eye on Bo Ji and her son, and the mother and son also want to rebel to get rid of The threat of Lü Yan, but the daily training of soldiers and horses will definitely hit the grass and snakes.
When the current king was at a loss, Dou Yifang proposed a solution, that is, to gradually go to the mausoleum in her name, so that she could train soldiers and horses in the mausoleum.
In Dou Yifang's heart, it is important to be able to get the favor of the Daiwang, but it is more important to solve the problems for the Daiwang, among the three thousand people in the harem, only Dou Yifang can truly understand what the Daiwang wants, and advise him, and it is enough to get such an understanding wife in this life, so the Daiwang also loved Dou Yifang for a lifetime.
There is a saying in the Dictionary of Psychology: "Emotion is the experience of attitude produced by man whether objective things meet his own needs." ”
We always think that dealing with feelings is a very troublesome thing, but in fact it is not difficult, and the reason why people find it difficult.
It is because most people cannot push themselves and compare hearts with hearts, they habitually only think for themselves, so this kind of one-line thinking feelings are doomed to not go long.
So, women who have empathy, women who can put themselves in the shoes of men, understand that what men really want is warmth from the depths of their hearts, and because of this, they can be loved by men.
They don't stand still and always focus on self-growth
In fact, true love is a slow-growing plant, it can not do immediate results, it needs to be carefully cared for, watered day by day, and finally can blossom and bear fruit.
Therefore, our love needs to add a new color from time to time, so as to increase the freshness and increase the attraction of each other.
Love is not something that can be done to sit back and relax, and in fact, many women become inert after they have established a relationship.
They feel that no matter what they look like, men will fall in love, but they underestimate the magic of time, which can invisibly change many things, including those who are unswerving in the beginning.
There are many variables in the future, and we have no idea whether tomorrow will come first by accident or surprise first.
So the only thing we can do is to improve ourselves, play steadily, and move forward step by step, so that we will have the confidence and more choices to face the future.
Chen Guo, a professor at Fudan University, once said: "Long-term love is falling in love with the same person again and again." ”
In the relationship between the sexes, women need to understand a truth, that is, only if they have achieved self-enhancement in feelings or marriages, then they can retain love, and this is also the key to harvesting for a long time.
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Author | Psychological counselor Fu Dongsheng
The main writer of love and marriage psychology | Use psychology to analyze love, marriage, and life
WeChat public account: love marriage psychology