After the two-child policy was liberalized, there is a very common phenomenon around us, families who have a daughter for the first child, the willingness to have a second child is still slightly stronger, and the family that has a son in the first child is rarely willing to have a second child.
Why is it that families whose first child is a son rarely have a second child? A family with two sons says it all
Aunt Zhang has two sons, the eldest son and the younger son are 11 years apart. At the beginning, Aunt Zhang's idea of giving birth to a second child was that she could have a daughter, but as a result, after waiting for 11 years, the second child was born, and she was an older son, which added another burden to the family.
Aunt Zhang and his wife are hard-working workers, they work hard to earn money, save money and live a life of frugality. They first married their eldest son to a daughter-in-law, and they also gave birth to a lovely son, and the family life was very happy.
Later, the second son also reached the age of talking about the object, but as long as he said an object, he wanted his family to buy a building in the city, which was also the standard for many local boys to find a daughter-in-law. They hollowed out all their savings to buy a building for their young son, and married their daughter-in-law with a dowry of 180,000 yuan, finally completing the big task of their lives.
However, the eldest daughter-in-law did not do it, she said that the mother-in-law was too eccentric, she was married, did not buy a building, the bride price is only more than 10,000 yuan, this concubine just changed the mouth fee of 11,000 yuan, the bride price is 180,000 yuan, this gap is also too big.
The eldest daughter-in-law asked her mother-in-law to subsidize herself with 200,000 yuan, otherwise she would divorce her husband, and said: "It is less for you to take 200,000 yuan, if your son marries another daughter-in-law, 200,000 yuan is not enough." ”
Aunt Zhang's old couple had 200,000 yuan, and she said a basket of good words to her eldest daughter-in-law, and people just didn't want to. Finally, they wrote an IOU to the eldest daughter-in-law, which read: Now they owe the eldest daughter-in-law 200,000 yuan for the bride price, and they will pay it back 20,000 yuan every year, and pay it off in 10 years. Aunt Zhang and her husband and wife are now more than sixty years old, and they were left to enjoy the blessings of their sons after marrying their daughters-in-law, but now they owe such a huge amount of "debt", which is really sad for parents.
There is an old Chinese saying that children are the debts of their parents in their previous lives. This phrase is still very appropriate for many parents. When we were young, we took care of our children and took on their educational responsibilities, and when our children grew up, they had to go into debt for them to start a family.
This makes many families reluctant to have more children, if Dabao is a boy, it is even more reluctant to have a second child, mainly for several more realistic reasons.
First, the parents have two boys, and the financial burden is too heavy.
The burden of having a son is heavier than giving birth to a daughter, because a son and daughter-in-law need to buy a house, buy a car, and give the woman a bride price. Therefore, many families that have given birth to a boy do not dare to have a second child, and if they have another son, the economic pressure is too great.
Second, there are two sons in the family, and it is easy to have contradictions in the future.
In real life, it is difficult for families with two sons to be absolutely fair, and the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law are prone to contradictions between the two daughters-in-law.
Whether it is the distribution of the property of the elderly, or the pension problem of the elderly in the future, it is more likely to contradict. Compared with a family of two sons, it would be much easier to have only one son.
Third, taking care of a child has been very difficult, there is no energy to take a second child.
With two girls is not as tired as taking a boy, the family has a son, when taking the child will experience limited energy, if there is another son, it is estimated that the parents will collapse. Therefore, many parents who give birth to a boy are reluctant to have a second child.
Regardless of whether the first child is a boy or a girl, parents who want to have a second child still have to make some preparations in advance, after all, after the birth of the child, we must be a responsible parent.
The economic conditions of the family should be able to afford the children's life and education.
Whether it is a boy or a girl, it costs a lot of money to raise a child now, so before having a second child, we still have to estimate whether our income is enough to support the life and education costs of two children, so as not to let ourselves and their children's lives fall into a dilemma.
Parents should have the energy and confidence to educate their children well.
Birth without raising is the biggest irresponsibility, we must have psychological preparation before giving birth to children, children's childhood needs the company and love of parents, if there is no energy to take children, do not have a second child.
Giving birth to a second child should consider the mother's physical health and Dabao's wishes.
Giving birth to a child is not a trivial matter, especially the mother's age and physical health are issues that need to be considered, and in the case of the mother's physical condition, consider having a second child. There is also that the big treasure in the family is also a part of the family, if the child has understood things, it is best to ask the child's opinion.
It is not advisable to prefer sons to daughters, and it is not necessary to prefer women to men, believing that equality between men and women can be achieved in the near future.