The netizen letter said:
My wife and I fell in love freely and married, our family is of equal wealth, both parents are farmers; our school experience and work experience are equal, during the school period, we are both school bullies, after graduating from college, we all stayed in the city and had a glamorous job. Originally, we thought that our married life would be very happy, but in the face of the temporary inability to buy a house, we performed the poor couple Pepsi lament in the days of renting. Although we bought a house through a mortgage when we reached the 6th year of our married life, we still did not change the embarrassing ending of frugality. In this case, we are still quarreling over poor money, and the key is that my wife, driven by the eyes of money, put on a green hat for me.
Regarding my wife's betrayal of marriage, I sensed it from her daily behavior: 1) the phone was not out of hand; 2) she was a little absent-minded when I talked to her; 3) the number of late returns lately; 4) I wasted two or three hours when I went to the market on Saturdays and Sundays to buy vegetables. During this time, I once reminded my wife: If you don't love me anymore, please boldly tell me that I am willing to use divorce to fulfill you. My wife also said at the time that I should not be too sensitive.
Last Saturday, my wife was going out to buy vegetables again, and this time, I followed my wife. Sure enough, after she went out, she did not go straight to the wet market, but went to a neighborhood across the road from us. Eventually, I blocked her and my lover in each other's house.
At this point, my wife's extramarital affair was exposed by me, and at the same time, I also filed for divorce from my wife. My wife obviously did not want to divorce me, but I would feel that my heart was no longer with me, even if it was for the sake of the children to ensure the integrity of the marriage, it was a heartache process, so I finally insisted on my idea of divorce. At present, in the divorce procedures, the result of our final discussions, the wife is out of the house.
Muzi Li emotional analysis:
I remember when I was in school, I would feel that my future life was like this: there was a shop of my own, doing the business of a small supermarket, having a car that belonged to me within 100,000 yuan, and having a house of my own, having a happy family, and my life would be complete. However, after I really went to society, I found that my pursuit of life has undergone great changes.
Perhaps, many people's yearning for life will change with age, during which some people's dreams have not been able to shine into reality; some people will feel that the ideal is very full, the reality is very bone, so that everyone's mentality and cognition in the face of life will also undergo some changes.
You and your wife will go to school, it will be a bully-like existence, but your parents are farmers, so that after you get married, the process of struggle is quite difficult, just to buy a house, it has made you very difficult, during the period, in the face of the grind of life, your sense of superiority during school is estimated to have disappeared from your body, more often, you feel the hardships of life. During this period, in fact, your and your wife's mentality will lead to imbalance at certain moments, so there are frequent husband and wife quarrels. As a result, your concept of marriage and love has undergone some changes, you will feel the helplessness of life more often, and your wife is a bit riding the wall and looking outward. As a result, your wife is involved in an extramarital affair, and you are particularly sad.
At the beginning, when you found out about your wife's misdeeds, you were not ready for divorce, but just wanted to remind your wife to form a cliff effect. In this case, you chose to follow your wife, just to grasp the evidence of her infidelity, so that you can legitimately propose divorce to your wife. During this period, your wife did not disappoint you, so she strengthened your determination to divorce.
On your wife's reluctance to divorce mentality: You're actually not that bad; she doesn't want to be an incompetent mother; she's not even sure if her lover will restructure the family with her after divorcing you. The point is, her cheating behavior has caused you harm. In this case, you are determined to divorce. At this time, your wife has fought for the possibility of not divorcing, the key is that you don't want to give her the opportunity to correct her mistakes, and she can only accept the reality of divorce.
When you divorced, you reached a consensus that your wife would go out of the house, in fact, this is not the truest yearning in her heart, but, as the wrong party, she is also worried that if she does not know how to be humble, after you and her tear up your face, you will dry her marital infidelity in front of everyone, so that she can't hang on to her face, so she can only give obedience to the clean family.
If after your divorce, your wife can exchange the results of reorganizing the family with your lover, which may be the best result for your wife; if the other party is ultimately unwilling to reorganize the family with your wife, then your wife will inevitably leave a string of regrets.
It is not that after marriage, it will be exchanged for the result of white heads and old age, which means that divorce is also an emotional ending, the key is that many people have no idea of divorce at all, but they want to deduce the behavior of marital infidelity, in this case, it is not a fluke to think that they can finally get the forgiveness of their lover, but when the lover does not give forgiveness and in exchange for the result of divorce, there seems to be no better way than regret. Therefore, in the adult world, do not act greed in the emotional field, but calmly think about the worst possible consequences of cheating, and ask yourself whether you have the ability to bear the worst outcome, if you do not have this ability, please be sure to ensure loyalty to the marriage, and not after the marriage breaks up because of your infidelity, you have no regret medicine to eat.
Editor's Note:
There is a saying that I can love you and I can change you. The scene of this sentence is often like this: when the other party treats the feelings between you with a loyal attitude, you give a strong, do not care, or deduce the betrayal of the marriage. In this case, the other party will feel that no matter how hard you try, there is no way to warm your heart. In this case, do you think the other party will still be cheeky and humble in front of you?
Everyone has emotional purity, especially in the face of marital infidelity and the behavior of breaking ties with the ex, many people are difficult to accept, the result, after similar things are exposed, the other party's beautiful imagination about marriage will be broken in an instant, at this time the other party will feel that you are dirty and unwilling to continue to live with you. So, in this case, isn't it all your fault for being driven out of the besieged city by the other side?
(Picture from the network, graphics and text have nothing to do)