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The counselor interprets | children always talk about conditions and rewards, how to guide them correctly?

Author - Sunshine Parents College - Ning Yuansky

Children always talk about conditions in everything,

To reward, how to guide correctly?

The counselor interprets | children always talk about conditions and rewards, how to guide them correctly?
The counselor interprets | children always talk about conditions and rewards, how to guide them correctly?
The counselor interprets | children always talk about conditions and rewards, how to guide them correctly?

Material rewards are methods not ends. The method is not a problem, young, lower grade children borrow some material reward stimulation, will be more motivated and interested in doing things, help to develop some good habits, and cultivate intrinsic motivation.

The question is whether parents can clear their boundaries, consider the degree of reward, and firmly implement them in behavior.

The counselor interprets | children always talk about conditions and rewards, how to guide them correctly?

Finally

Finally, use material rewards with caution and focus on spiritual rewards

a Try not to link material rewards directly to learning activities

"If material rewards are directly linked to learning activities, learning goals are prone to transfer. We give our children the best alternatives to the stimulus we give to our children in learning. What is a stimulant substitute? For example, sticker rewards or small red flower rewards." For example, according to the child's academic performance, the child can be rewarded with a corresponding sticker, and the child can redeem 1 medal for every 10 stickers he receives, and the medal he receives can be exchanged for a corresponding gift at the end of the semester. Such a "token system" can not only stimulate children's interest in learning and enhance children's motivation to learn, but also avoid children from directly equating "good performance" with "material rewards".

b When rewarding children, encouragement is the mainstay and rewards are supplemented

Teachers and parents reward their children with encouragement methods such as hugs, praise, and written praise. Especially for young children, spiritual encouragement is far more important than material rewards. Because children's sense of self has not yet been fully established, their self-awareness often comes from the evaluation of close people, such as parents, grandparents, teachers and other "important others". The more positive the child gets, the more positive his self-perception becomes, hugging, touching, verbal written praise and other forms of encouragement, conveying the message that I am connected to your heart, I believe you can do well...

c Parents need to help their children establish positive attribution styles

When faced with grades, it is attributed to the process of hard work, not the reward system. Parents should pay attention to the subjective status of their children's learning, and in the feedback to their children, there are some positive messages such as "This time has done a good job, the next time you continue to work hard, you will get better results" or "The reason why you can succeed is because you work very hard, your mother will take you to the wild this week to play and relax". This links the child's grades to the process of his efforts, and the reward is only incidental, not the ultimate goal.

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