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Do you believe that your life is actually destined to be good, no matter what kind of effort you make, or what kind of harmful things you do, it depends on your life script.
The famous American psychologist Eric Berne first proposed the psychological concept of "life script", which actually refers to a life plan in the human subconscious.
This kind of life plan is not clearly perceived by people, and all actions and experiences in people's lives are constantly pushing this "life script" forward. Time is simply an objective existence, in order to perfect and fill in the theoretical concept of the "script of life".
In his theory, Eric emphasizes the influence of the original family and parents on a person's life, and he roughly divides a person's "life script" into four aspects:
The destiny of mankind
From birth to adolescence
Plastic age
Maturity and death
Next, combined with Eric's theory, we will focus on and focus on the script of human destiny. When it comes to the human destiny script, we have to introduce the following concepts: 1, Parent(P); 2, Adult (A); 3, Chid (C).
Among them, A and C represent an individual's self-state, and PA and PC represent the influence of individual parents on the formation of individual personality in emotional-behavioral patterns.
What are the factors that affect a person's fate? Some people think that a person's origin, a person born with a golden spoon, will always have a better life than others, have a good birth, can work for decades less, and that the difference in social classes is difficult to change through individual effort.
Some people think that it is the environment in which a person is located, the impact of the environment on the individual is self-evident, you live in such an environment for a long time, you will slowly integrate into what kind of environment, what kind of person you become.
There are also people who think that it is character, that a person's character affects a person's behavior and affects a person's life. From a psychological point of view, the above three statements have some truth.
In general, a person's origin first determines his living environment, and the cultivation of a person's personality is inseparable from the shaping of the environment, and a person's personality will determine his behavior, which in turn affects what kind of people he will interact with in life.
According to this logic, it is actually the character of a person who decides the fate of that person. So, what is the formation of a person's character?
After a large number of research data, developmental psychology pointed out that individuals have initially formed their personality before the age of 6, and in the future growth process, they will adjust their personality patterns (P, A, C) many times.
Psychologists point out that a person's personality development, its parents play a vital role, so whether it is PA or PC, are affecting a person's fate, which is the "life script" we mentioned above. In other words, your life is just the "compulsive repetition and reincarnation" you experienced in your childhood.
Character is a pattern of one's internal relationships. Objective relation theory points out that the motivation of any human action stems from the search for objects, emphasizes the influence of the environment on individual personality, and believes that the impact of PA and PC on individuals is great and indelible.
Before the age of 6, the most important object of an individual is his or her own parents. At this age, the individual will internalize his or her relationship with his parents into his own heart, becoming an inner relationship model.
Later in life, this pattern of internal relationships affects the individual's interactions with anyone.
In layman's terms, how your parents treated you when they were young largely determined how you would treat your friends and what you wanted from them.
Those children who did not get enough love from their parents when they were young and lived in a relatively poor environment will naturally have inferiority, loneliness and gloom, and it is difficult for such children to develop a positive personality.
Even if they leave their original families after adulthood, this influence cannot be completely eliminated, and most of these people will be afraid when interacting with people, very concerned about the eyes of others, and even flattering and doing something harmful to others.
Such people have a hard time making real friends in life and work, and they can't really win the respect of others.
The famous American psychologist Beverly Engel introduced in detail in the book "It's Not Your Fault" that if a person has suffered physical, mental or emotional abuse in childhood, then the person will have a particularly strong sense of shame when he grows up, and this influence will accompany the individual's life.
To sum up, your personality is basically formed at the age of 6, and your personality will affect your whole life, so we say that a person's fate is predestined long before your 6 years old.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
Edit | Rain
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2018). Beautiful mess effect: Self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Journal of personality and social psychology, 115(2), 192-205