On the last day of the New Year's Day holiday, I took Zhen Bao out to let out the wind and wrote her homework with her at home for a day, she was not bothered, I was annoyed.
"Writing a day's homework at home, crashing. His father wanted to go out and play, but because the child's homework had to be held up for a day, he couldn't stand it. "A friend sent WeChat.
"My son's homework is not written at all, and he just thinks about it and doesn't act." He didn't plan or arrange it, and he said no. I don't know what he thinks, it's a drag to the end. Another friend also complained in the group.
Across the screen, I can feel the frustration and helplessness of my friends.
Such a mood, I am afraid that I have not raised a child, and it is not good for a child who has not gone to primary school.
Since when have we become more and more frustrated and irritable? Probably as the children grow up, our irritability index is also rising day by day.
Parents want to raise happy and self-disciplined children, but in fact, children's performance often leaves us speechless. They are dissatisfied, bored, depressed, self-centered, and give us a headache.
So parents lament that children do not understand things, and do not know how to understand themselves. Similarly, children are complaining about their parents' domineering, self-control at every turn, and cannot do what they want to do.
The reason for this is that there is a generation gap between parents and children, and the reason is actually because parents and children lack understanding and cannot think from each other's point of view.
So, when there is a generation gap between parents and children, what should parents do?
Smart parents don't get angry or rush to correct their children, but try to swap identities with their children to dispel misunderstandings.
Although children and parents are not born to be sworn enemies, sometimes they do not get along well.
This sentence comes from the "Getting along with parents" in the Babe Bear series of picture books, and this little story is very interesting.
That day, Papa Bear rushed into the living room angrily and shouted, "What about the other newspapers?" At a glance, he saw Brother Bear watching the sports section.
Brother Bear said, "I just took a look at it." Papa Bear angrily grabbed the newspaper and sat down in the easy chair.
Brother Bear ran to his mother to complain, saying who had provoked his father, so angry.
Mother Bear is also troubled, Little Bear Sister and good friends have been talking on the phone for almost an hour, and Mother Bear is waiting for an important call.
Mother Bear let Little Bear sister hang up the phone, Little Bear Sister was reluctant, and protested with her mother, her mother was angry, yelled a few words, and forced Little Bear Sister to hang up the phone.
At dinner, the bears are very unhappy because they do not eat well, play with food, and are accused by their parents.
Just in time for the bear brothers and sisters' school to organize a talent show party, after consulting with good friends Liz and Fredley, the four bears decided to perform a short play "Conflict with Parents", wanting parents to know how difficult it is to be a child.
Their performance was a success, making the audience laugh, and the mother bear laughed so much that the tears flowed out, and the father of the bear laughed too, but not as happy as the mother bear laughed.
This performance made The bear father and mother realize the situation of the children, and they seemed to understand that the children had the troubles of the children.
However, they also want children to experience the situation of their parents. So, Papa Bear and Mother Bear put on an enlarged version of the bear siblings' clothes and became children.
Papa Bear shouted, "Where's breakfast?" I am hungry! ”
Mother Bear screamed, "Stop eating slimy oatmeal!" ”
Papa Bear jumped and shouted, "Oh, slimy oatmeal!" Slimy oatmeal! ”
Then, they made a mess of the living room, leaving nowhere to get off their feet, and forced the door shut...
The little bear brothers and sisters looked stunned, it turned out that their usual image was so bad, no wonder their parents were bothered!
An identity swap allowed the bear family to experience each other's feelings, and the bears realized that they were really willful and did not like to clean up, no wonder their parents were upset.
Papa Bear and Mama Bear also realized that sometimes their accusations really hurt the children.
The Little Bear family began to reflect, believing that after this incident, the parent-child relationship would become more and more harmonious.
This also enlightens parents, when there is a generation gap with children, do not rush to correct the children, may wish to exchange identities with children, think from the perspective of children, if I am a child, how do I hope parents treat themselves?
In order to produce a good communication effect, we must also pay attention to two points:
First, parents imagine themselves back in childhood.
Brother Bear saw his parents playing children so much, and couldn't help but say, "Wow, you guys have played children to the end!" Mother Bear said, "We're also from children!" ”
They want to really go into the inner world of their children, so they imagine themselves going back to their childhood, thinking hard about what they would think if they were children, and at the same time hoping that their parents would see themselves.
When parents and children have conflicts, if you can think in this way, you can understand the child's situation, and you will know how to communicate well with your child.
Second, give the right to the child and let the child do a homecoming
When the Little Bear Brothers play their parents, they act very similarly and happily, and they play the domineering and hysterical behavior of their parents.
"It's so bad! Really, the child is too casual, the clothes come to reach out, the food comes to open the mouth. ”
"Little Sister Bear, hang up the phone, I'm waiting for an important call!"
Father Bear and Mother Bear are supportive of the children playing parents, and after the performance, they do not feel embarrassed, let alone criticize the children, but realize the children's situation.
In life, exchange identities with children, let children be parents, truly feel the mood of parents, and perhaps children can better understand the feelings of parents.
In doing so, children can recognize their shortcomings and receive the education of their parents.
Misunderstandings between parents and children are mostly due to poor communication.
Parents often have preconceived notions, guessing children with their own ideas, and directly giving orders for children, which cannot be refuted; children feel that their parents are too domineering and do not know their true thoughts, so they cannot feel the intentions of their parents.
A generation gap between parents and children has thus arisen.
To eliminate the generation gap, it is conducive to identity exchange, and really consider the problem from the perspective of the other party to achieve smooth communication.
In fact, children are not as ignorant as parents think, and parents are not as domineering as children think.
It's all a misunderstanding.