"The scenery you encounter during your walking is not necessarily unique, what matters is how you are in and how you think when you encounter these landscapes."
This is the golden sentence that Venus once said, as the first transgender person in China, Venus has endured countless criticisms along the way, but these tribulations have not stopped him from moving forward, and he has lived out his true self in his own way.
15 years ago, Gao Tingting, a transgender person who had a high-profile marriage, appeared in front of the public in his unique way, setting off countless waves, after many years, how is he living now?
Different fireworks
In 1974, Gao Tingting was born in Juxian County, Shandong Province, when his name was Gao Yonggui, an authentic Shandong farmer.
After graduating from junior high school, he, like some boys of the same age in the village, was conscripted into the army, and after finishing his recruit training, he was assigned to the cooking class of the communications company for three years.
In the three years of the army, Gao Yonggui did not have any special performance, and he was usually full of interest in literature, and often used his leisure time to contribute to the army radio station, so he also won the favor of some friends of the opposite sex.
Among these girls, a girl named Lu Jinhua, who attended the Metallurgical Vocational University, caught his attention and the two formally established a relationship in frequent correspondence.
If the relationship between the two has not been opposed by their parents, there may not have been Gao Tingting's appearance, but fate is always such a surprise.
After breaking up with his first love, Gao Yonggui, who had a good relationship with the opposite sex, talked about several girlfriends in succession, but unfortunately did not go to the end.
In 1995, Gao Yonggui retired from the army, he had already tasted the sweetness in the big city, he was not willing to return to the countryside at all, like other comrades from the countryside, he chose to stay in the city to work, relying on his own ability to take root in the big city.
The ideal is beautiful, but the reality is cruel.
Before Gao Yonggui took the first step in his life, he was beaten by society.
He was full of ambition, he just got off the train, before he walked out of the Jinan railway station, he met a warm-hearted driver, learned that he was a veteran, wanted to find a job in Jinan, the driver of the face did not say a word and took him to an intermediary boss who was responsible for introducing work.
Gao Yonggui, who had just entered the society, knew that at this time, he had been caught in the scam of the scammer, and after happily paying 260 yuan of intermediary fees, these two so-called well-meaning people immediately disappeared into the sea of people and could no longer find a trace.
This encounter made him hate men to the bone, and even felt ashamed of his boy's body, at the same time, he also experienced the hardships of finding a job.
When he first arrived in Jinan, he had no relatives and no reason, and his own education was not high, and Gao Yonggui constantly ran into walls on the way to find a job.
In order to make ends meet, he was hired to work in a machinery processing plant to work lathes, two shifts, he was arranged to work at night, two months down, only to get a hundred yuan salary, this kind of work tired and less money, soon let Gao Yonggui quit.
Jinan's work is not easy to do, he went to Weifang again, found that the bather in the bathhouse can get more than 3,000 yuan a month, he rushed to dry for two days, he was put down by an old bather, just because in addition to rubbing their backs, they will also massage and pedicure.
Gao Yonggui, who was frustrated by part-time work, ushered in his first marriage, the girl's surname is Zhou, is from the next village, the two met not long after they quickly got engaged, married in 1998.
However, on the first night of the new marriage, his wife did not see the red, which made Gao Yonggui's heart very unhappy, and quietly questioned the marriage.
After marriage, the husband and wife went to Weifang to work together, and soon, the wife became pregnant and lost her job, and the burden of the family fell on Gao Yonggui's shoulders at once.
In order to get a better job, he went to study cooking again, hoping to find a stable job to pay for the family.
In August 1999, a pair of lovely twin daughters were born, which made Gao Yonggui's pressure increase hundreds of times at once.
In order to make a living, he learned to sell wholesale newspapers along the street, and at the end of the day, he could only earn seven or eight yuan if he broke his leg, which could not support the family's expenses.
Seeing that life was in a desperate situation, a news item on the Weifang Evening News, "Hard work to save money for more than ten years, only for the knife of sex reassignment surgery", attracted his attention, after watching the news, he looked at his face in the mirror, as if the heavens had opened a new door for himself in the dark.
The arduous road to transgenderism
That night, Gao Yonggui rushed back home and told his wife about this idea, and the wife who thought her husband was just joking casually said:
"Your eyes and mouth look like a woman's." Your nose is big, if you make your nose smaller, you can change it if you want to. ”
His wife's casual words were taken seriously by Gao Yonggui here, he took his wife's cosmetics to smear on his face for a while, and then put on his wife's dress, taking advantage of the dark to go to the street for a few laps, such a feeling made him experience unprecedented happiness.
But transgender is definitely not as simple as putting on makeup and putting on women's clothes, and it must also use medical means to achieve a complete transformation of the body.
After visiting a number of medical institutions, the huge cost of surgery made Gao Yonggui discouraged, temporarily put aside the idea of transgenderism, and returned to the street to sell newspapers.
However, the idea of wearing women's clothes to become a woman was like a seed that had sprouted, growing wildly in his heart.
The cruelty of real life and the hardships of the road to transgenderism made him have the idea of taking his own life, and after being rescued several times, the reporter contacted the president of Qingdao Guangji Psychological Hospital for him to do psychological counseling for him.
Here, he was diagnosed with transsexualism, and the moment the doctor asked him to change into women's clothes and put them back on, he was even more confident in wanting to change sex.
Unexpectedly, the original joke actually made the husband take it seriously, and Gao Yonggui's wife could not accept such a different husband and proposed divorce.
Divorced Gao Yonggui was determined to change sex, he changed his name to Gao Tingting, appealed to the society for help through the media newspaper, and at the same time, he was also ready to write a book on his mental journey of transgenderism.
After the report of quasi-transgender Gao Tingting was exposed by the media, it caused a huge response in the society.
In addition to curiosity, the ensuing scolding is also not endless, everyone can not understand why a good end of a boy's body should not be male or female, Gao Tingting's transgender behavior is undoubtedly provoking the bottom line of society's concept of ethics and morality.
Since her identity has been made public, Gao Tingting simply took off her men's clothes, changed into women's clothes, and appeared in front of the public as a woman.
He began to take frequent business performances, wearing dresses and big red lips on the stage to sing in a pressed voice, although most of the people on the stage did not have good intentions, they could not shake his determination.
The opportunity to make money brought about by negative news reports made him more convinced that the choice to embark on the road to transgenderism was the right one.
In 2004, after a hospital in Nanjing read a report about Gao Tingting, it took the initiative to contact him and was willing to help him operate free of charge, provided that Gao Tingting was used to promote the hospital.
Soon, Gao Tingting underwent the first breast augmentation surgery, which was his first and final step towards the role of a woman, and due to a dispute of interest, Gao Tingting terminated the agreement with the hospital to continue cooperation.
Although the operation was terminated, Gao Tingting tasted the sweetness of relying on hype transgenderism.
As long as he wears women's clothes and sings and dances in public, he can get a lot of income, which is exactly the way he has longed to make money for a long time, and Gao Tingting, who saw hope, began to use his body to intensify the hype.
In 2018, a special marriage revelation appeared in the public eye, and the protagonist of the marriage was Gao Tingting.
He has publicly stated that he will stop transsexuality, seek a woman between the ages of 20 and 38 as a companion, and attach a recent photo of himself to the marriage revelation, in which he still has long flowing hair, although he holds a divorce certificate, he still can't hide his gender confusion.
Bottomless hype
In 2010, the happy male voice of Hunan Tv was auditioned nationwide, and Gao Tingting felt that this was his chance to be reborn again.
As early as 2007, he had registered for the Shandong Division, but was not approved because of gender reasons, and in the 2010 audition, he plucked up enough courage to register in the Shanxi Division and successfully passed the preliminary examination.
In an interview with an on-site reporter, he said excitedly holding the pre-selection notice:
"Shanxi is a good place, not only the scenery is beautiful, people are more beautiful, thank you for this session of the judges do not discriminate against my gender, give me the opportunity, I will definitely perform well, Shanxi Taiyuan will also be the place where my dream began."
In the end, because of the ability problem, Gao Tingting did not show her prominence on the stage of the fast man, but his purpose of exposing and expanding his influence again has been achieved.
By 2010, at the age of 36, he had been married twice, had three daughters, and two wives before and after, and finally chose to divorce because of his gender orientation.
When confronted with the reporter's soul torture of "whether he will continue to be transgender", he covered his mouth with an orchid finger and smiled softly: "Further down is my bottom line." ”
It seems that he did not mean to answer the reporter's question.
"I think that now I am the most perfect existence, combining the advantages of men and women, you can not worry about the restrictions of identity, I do not think that I am not a man or a woman, on the contrary, I happen to be a perfect combination of handsome men and beautiful women that many people can't do." 」
Professor Li Donghua of the Medical Psychology Research Laboratory of Nanjing Medical University, who gave a scientific explanation for Gao Tingting's special degeneration situation, said:
"From a medical point of view, transgender desire is called 'psychosexual identity disorder' or 'self-cognitive disorder'.
When a psychologist determines that a person has transsexual desires, there is a condition that the patient must be a person who is seriously difficult with the existing gender life.
Gao Tingting is not satisfied with her male identity life, because she feels tired of doing rough work, or because she envies women for making money easily, which is not a serious difficulty for the existing gender life, but reluctance.
From this point of analysis, Gao Tingting's desire for transgenderism is not heartfelt. ”
As Professor Li Donghua said, Gao Tingting used her female characteristics to go in and out of major performance venues, performing singing, anti-string, magic and other programs, and obtained high performance costs.
In 2012, Gao Tingting, who has not been confused for a long time, once again announced to the media that she would change back to a male body and change Gao Tingting to Gao Fushuai.
I have to say that on the road of relying on media hype, he did master some doorways, and now, it is the era of the popularity of online live broadcasting, and Gao Tingting, who has been renamed gao fucai, will still wear women's clothes, twist her body to the camera, and sing in her voice.
Everyone's definition of happiness is different, and perhaps, for Gao Tingting, dignity is far less important than money.
Today's Mr. Gao Tingting continues to wander between the blurred boundaries between men and women, and for him, the greatest suffering in life is that when he was young and middle-aged, he sold his physical strength in exchange for the results he wanted.
He still took "deformation" as his topic point in exchange for some meager benefits, but he had disappeared into the public eye, and the crowd also understood the fundamental purpose of his true and false words, and naturally would not pay the bill again.
literature search:
"Gao Fu Shuai married in Zibo!" Transsexual patient divorced 2 times, his experience made people" Luzhong Morning News
"Shandong transgender Gao Tingting announces the cessation of transgender marriage and marriage" in the new news agency