When our group of post-80s was first urged to get married, peers often made such a joke: Don't worry, wait for the first batch of people to get married after 10 years to start divorcing, and the parents will not urge.
At that time, after listening to this sentence, everyone would invariably hahaha, but now when they hear this sentence again, most people will be silent.
Nowadays, looking at the group of married friends around you, there are not many people who are happy in marriage.
Most people have filed for divorce at least once, and some of them haven't even survived the seven-year itch.
We often ask ourselves in our hearts: How is it so difficult to live happily?
I don't know when we start to forget: happiness is originally a small probability event!
The growth of our generation has caught up with the great changes in society.
Almost every family's life is getting better and better: moving from a small bungalow to a building; from a BB machine to a smartphone; from a bicycle to a car...
The material life is becoming more and more satisfied, and people's pursuit of spiritual life is getting higher and higher.
Everyone's requirements for marriage also range from living together, to staying together, to soul fit.
Maybe it's because I grew up listening to the fairy tales of princes and princesses, maybe it's because I grew up watching idol dramas, or maybe I saw the happiness of others in social networks.
This makes many people have an illusion about marriage: marriage should be happy.
Therefore, reality always reminds us that if we want to live happily, how easy is it?
If happiness is a very ordinary thing, then who is going to sing it, pursue it, praise it?
We have all seen such a set of data: the world's 7.5 billion people, the average lifetime will meet about 29.2 million people, the probability of acquaintance is 5 in 10 million, the probability of knowing each other is 3 parts a billion.
And the probability of two people in love is: 0.000049%.
That is to say, two people can like each other, which is a very difficult thing in itself, and then it is necessary to be of the same age, the door to the door, etc., in order to enter the marriage, the probability is even smaller.
Among these people who enter marriage, some people live happily, and some people live unhappy lives.
So, does happiness become a small probability event among small probability events? So where do we get the confidence to think that we should be the lucky one?
What's more, many people enter marriage, and from the beginning, they choose not love. Maybe it's missing the person you love the most, maybe it's weighing the pros and cons to choose the one who suits you best...
How can a marriage that is not a marriage that itself begins with happiness not experience storms?
Our generation is an only child, and everyone is raised in the palm of their parents' hands.
It was in this context of growth that created the unique marriage pattern of our generation: two extremely selfish people united and wanted to ask each other to sacrifice for themselves.
From the beginning, the marriage is full of calculations, only thinking about asking for each other, and unhappiness seems to be taken for granted.
Therefore, when we lose one by one in front of life, we have to admit that it is really a science to want to live happily.
Marriage is not the end of love, but the beginning of continuing to love each other in a new identity.
A good marriage has high requirements for both people, to be able to learn and progress together, and to be able to understand each other perfectly. But some people are so naïve, they don't run their own business, but they are delusional to have happiness.
It's like students don't want to be a bully without studying, and workers want to get rich without working.
Therefore, when you have the opportunity to meet those who are living happily, instead of envying each other and complaining about your other half, it is better to observe their mode of getting along with their partners with more carefully.
Take part of the time to brush your phone every day, communicate with your partner, and understand each other's needs.
When you make more and more efforts for happiness, you will find that happiness is actually as fair as sports, the more you do, the more you gain; the more perfunctory you are, the more perfunctory it is, the more perfunctory you are!
May you, who are reading the article at this moment, also harvest happiness from the beginning of the new year!
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