Hello everyone, I'm Pino Mom.
Some time ago, when I took the bus home, I saw a very embarrassing scene: a little boy of about 4 years old was sitting on his mother's lap, and suddenly pulled down his mother's clothes with lightning speed, and reached out to touch his mother's belly.
The mother pulled the child's hand away in embarrassment and said, "This is the mother's private part, you can't touch it, otherwise the mother will be very uncomfortable." ”
But the little boy did not give up the posture of not giving up, a pair of small hands into the mother's clothes, the mother was embarrassed and helpless, can only take the child to get out of the car quickly.
Pino's mother saw this scene, she remembered her daughter when she was a child, and she also liked to touch her mother's stomach and pinch her ears to sleep, although her mother also explained to her daughter, but her daughter promised to be good every time, and after a while she forgot, which made us very annoyed.
Pino's mother once went to the parenting group and consulted the problem of "the baby likes to touch the mother's belly and pinch the ears", which triggered many mothers' blood and tears complaints:
"My son is the same, I don't let me touch, he just touches Grandma";
"My girlfriend doesn't sleep without touching it, otherwise she will cry";
"Oh, just touch it, my child is still kneading and kneading, just like playing with plasticine, very annoyed..."
What child is so obsessed with his mother's chest, Pino's mother watched the variety show "My Girl", after hearing Fu Yuanhui's father's explanation, she was suddenly enlightened.
01
In the show, 22-year-old Olympic champion Fu Yuanhui always hangs a red belt on her body and calls it touching.
According to Fu's father, this belt is called touching, and when her daughter was young, she always put it on the pillow and hung on her body, and she was very safe. And said: "Many children have this habit."
In the show, whenever Fu Yuanhui feels scared or nervous, she will involuntarily touch the red belt to gain a sense of security.
In fact, children who like to touch their mother's chest are the same, when they go to an unfamiliar environment, feel afraid and afraid, they will get a sense of security by touching their mother's chest.
In addition, some children are habits developed from childhood, the little nephew is almost 6 years old, or like to touch the mother's chest, the reason is "used to it". Since he was a child, he has been eating milk while "grabbing milk" with his hands, although adults have also stopped it, but he can't stand the child's soft grinding and hard bubbles, and he will soon tie his hands.
Whether it is to gain a sense of security or a habit developed since childhood, do mothers really want to stop their children's behavior?
In every child's mind, the mother's breasts are both their own "rations" and a symbol of love.
Generally speaking, children between the ages of 1 and 2 are weaned. Although the child does not drink breast milk, the attachment to the breast remains. Therefore, many children who have lost breast milk still like to touch their mother's breasts.
When Pino's mother took her daughter to do child protection, the child care doctor said that 0-3 years old is an important stage in cultivating children's gender identity and role identity. Therefore, after the child is 3 years old, the mother must help him get rid of the habit of touching the breast.
After all, blindly conniving and acquiescing to children's touch will be harmful to the child's growth without any benefit, and it is not conducive to cultivating children's gender awareness.
For children after the age of 3, they can accurately distinguish between male and female. Therefore, adults should teach children to correctly understand body parts, and tell children that their mother's chest is a private part and cannot be touched and touched by anyone.
02
Since for children after the age of 3, it is necessary to stop their behavior of touching their stomachs and pinching their ears as much as possible, how to do it, the child can willingly "let go". Pino's mother asked the child care doctor, and at the same time consulted the relevant information, summed up the "3 to 2 don't", interested mothers, you can understand:
3 To:
Take the initiative to accompany and give children encouraging hugs and caresses
My husband and I are both nine-to-five office workers, and when we go out in the morning, the children have not yet woken up; when we come home at night, the time with the children is also very short.
In order to get rid of my daughter's bad habits, under the advice of the child care doctor, every day after work, my husband and I will accompany my daughter, as far as possible to accompany my daughter to exercise and play, and give high-quality companionship.
My daughter likes roller skating, my husband and I bought a parent-child version of roller skates, and after every dinner, I took my daughter to the community square to play, and the family of three chased me and became a beautiful landscape on the square.
In addition, he will seize every opportunity to encourage and touch children more, after all, Harlow said: "Touching, moving, and playing are the three variables of love." ”
As long as our family of three is together, we will express our love for our daughter by hugging and touching the child.
The full companionship of mom and dad gradually made up for the lack of emotions of her daughter, and then slowly changed the little habit of "messing around".
Refuse in action and let the child "empathize with something else"
First of all, when the daughter touches the mother's chest, the mother will definitely have a clear refusal action, such as removing the hand, or when the child is ready to reach out, the mother can hold down the clothes and clearly express the refusal.
Secondly, the mother can hug the child tightly and tell the child at the same time: the mother loves you very much, the mother knows that you want the mother, but the breast is the mother's private part, it is not allowed to touch, otherwise the mother will feel very uncomfortable, the next time you think of the mother, you can grab the mother's hand or face.
Then, with my daughter's consent, my husband and I picked a little bunny doll with the child, and when I went to bed every night, under the guidance of my mother, I picked up the bunny doll on my own.
In this way, by diverting the child's attention and allowing the child to "empathize with something else", it will not deprive the child of a sense of security, but also satisfy his desire for maternal love.
We must unite the whole family and give play to the role of the child's father
Many mothers around them reacted, and they had a hard time not letting the children touch it, but the grandmother at home could not withstand the child's crying, and soon tied her hands.
Therefore, if you want to help your child quit the little habit of "touching", the whole family must unite the front. At the same time, the child's father can also accompany some children, so that the child understands that the father can also rely on.
2 Do not:
Don't simply and rudely scold your child
When many mothers see the baby touching, they will sternly refuse and loudly reprimand the child, such as "How old, you are not ashamed, take your hand away..."
The child touches the mother's chest, itself to get a sense of security, but the mother's reprimand will only make the child feel anxious and panic! So, please don't scold your child loudly.
Do not wear revealing clothes to make children "hungry"
Especially in the summer, mothers in front of their children, also need to pay attention to dress appropriately, do not wear too exposed, while bathing, changing clothes, as far as possible to close the door to avoid children, so as not to look at the "eyes".
All in all, in the face of the child's "random touch" behavior, mothers should not blindly reprimand the child, nor blindly get used to the child, but try the above methods to help the child gradually quit this little habit.