When did you find out that your child started lying?
When the exam is missing, do you sign the letter and lie about the exam information? When doing something wrong, shirk responsibility and pretend not to know? Lying and deceiving people when trying to get what you want? Lying for fun, getting someone's attention...
Lying is a manifestation of the child's IQ improvement, when the child judges that the environment is a threat to himself and may cause a little harm to himself, he will open the self-defense mechanism and use lying to protect himself.
But every time I look at the child's poor acting skills, even if I question it harshly, I don't admit it. Parents really hate that iron is not steel, and they can send themselves away without slowing down.
Everyone should have heard the story of the wolf coming.
The child in the story, for fun, cheats on others again and again. As a result, others did not believe him, and eventually everyone else lost their lives.
This is an educationally inspired story that teaches children not to lie casually, and lies can hurt others.
Heine also once said: "Life cannot blossom in lies." ”
So it's not advisable to lie, but it's hard to teach children not to lie!
The average parent will directly expose the child's lies, and then sharply accuse him to stop lying. The result is that not only do children not admit it, but lying also increases.
Do you know?
All lies are the result of defeat after fighting against the fear in the heart.
Lying is the essential reaction of the child because of fear. This fear includes fear of disappointment, fear that one's inner needs are not being met, fear of being hurt, and so on...
What should we do when a child lies?
First understand the child and communicate with the child more.
We should stand in the child's perspective, understand the child's fear, and help the child overcome the fear. Most of the time the child is afraid of the parent's disappointment, anger, punishment, then tell the child that you understand the reason why he lied, and will not punish him too harshly, the honest child is super good.
Then let the child have the courage to take responsibility, lead by example, and guide the child correctly. Everyone is responsible for their words and deeds, even children are no exception. Guiding your child to take responsibility will help you overcome your fears. Let the child understand that the lie is wrong and should be responsible for his own lie. Parents should also set a good example for their children.
Finally, don't criticize your child too much. Excessive criticism of the child will dampen his self-confidence and lead the child to deny himself. There is no perfect person in the world, "Man is not a sage, who can be blameless?" "Why do you want to use the standards of adults to demand children?
A child is a child, and a child needs guidance from a parent. There is no perfect child, there is no perfect parent, grow up together and work hard together!