It's normal for children to be together, play together for a while, and not play together for a while. But if the child is excluded, the heart must be very uncomfortable, when the child tells you, how to help the child?
My daughter and two children of the same age in the neighborhood always like to play together, once, the child came back sullen, I asked her, how did she come back, don't you play? It's still early, you can play a little more (the child goes out to play with children of the same age, but don't worry, don't watch TV and mobile phones, so I always hope she plays outside for a while), the child said aggrievedly, the two of them said not to play for me.
If your child told you that, how would you answer? Your answer may determine your child's social skills and psychological status later on.
There are generally several answers:
First, are you messing with them, they don't like you anymore.
Do not first find reasons from the child and deny the child, so that the child will think that he is not good and has an inferiority complex. If it is not the child's reason, the child is also very aggrieved in his heart, originally wanted to get comfort from the parents, the result was denied, blamed, the child still does not know how to solve the problem, how to socialize correctly, it is likely to please others, so it is easy to become a flattering personality, easy to suffer losses.
Second, if you don't play, you won't play, we won't let them play, you play for a while.
The child listened and played with himself, but maybe the child still wants to play with them, what to do next?
My daughter once came back breathlessly and said, "Hmm, if you don't play, don't play." But for a while she still wanted to play with them, that is, not playing was not the real thought of the child. It's just that the children are isolated, they don't play with the children, and the children actually want to play with them.
Third, the above two methods are not appropriate, in the face of the child is isolated, you can tell the child this way.
1. Listen to the child first talk about the reason why others don't play with him.
Help the child analyze the reasons why others do not play with him, if the child does not know how to socialize correctly, then it is necessary to teach the child social experience.
If it is the reason for other children, you can tell the child that others do not play with you not because you are not good, maybe your opinion or your approach they do not like, and they are different from them, they isolate you. But there is nothing wrong with you being different from them, so let's not beg to reconcile with them, so as to avoid children becoming flattering people.
2) Not all people can be friends.
Good friends together is happy, happy, they are not willing to play with you, isolate you, is they not right, then you are generous and walk away, do not be friends with them.
If they want to play with you again, then they will find you.
My daughter and two other children hadn't played together for a while, and one day they picked up the kids from school and went downstairs, and the two of them called out to my daughter and said, let's play together, and my daughter said, Ok, they're playing together again.
3) Trying to make yourself better will attract more people to become friends with you.
When you are stronger, you will be more confident.
Some parents will let other children take snacks to other children as soon as they see that other children do not play with their children, and the children do play for a while, but next time they still worry about snacks.
Attracting people is not with snacks, but with charisma.
Also teach your child a few social principles:
First learn to respect others
With a smile, you can break the sense of strangeness
Learn to empathize with people, understand the feelings of others, and not be schadenfreude
Don't skimp on praise
Thank you for the word, others will never bother to hear
epilogue
Everyone does not want to be isolated, like to have good friends, when the child encounters social problems, parents should help the child out of the social confusion in time, teach the child what to do, the child is more confident and strong, and it is helpful for the child to grow up or go to work to interact with others.
Good social relations will help us to walk the road more smoothly!