Nietzsche said: The most difficult stage of life is not that no one understands you, but that you do not understand yourself.
Do you understand yourself? Do you really know, know, understand, where your insomnia, your anxiety, comes from? There will be friends who say, I know: it is caused by not being able to relax, involuntarily nervous, unable to relax, not being nervous. Do you also think that your anxiety, insomnia, and fear come from "uncontrollable"?
If you have the same understanding, then congratulations: you have passed the initial screening and are eligible for further steps! At the same time, the plot reverses so quickly: it doesn't matter if it's controllable or not! What matters? First, are you comfortable with yourself? Second, whether your current behavior is consistent with objective existence.
The book "Emotional Self-Help" mentions that anxiety is to worry about negative outcomes, and depression is to expect negative outcomes. Whether it is depression or anxiety, it is uncomfortable, and I am aware of it. Negative consequences are unacceptable to people with anxiety and insomnia, otherwise how can they be worried and expected? We cannot accept the next day of drowsiness, lack of clarity, lack of concentration, yawning...
It is in this state of sluggishness, low work and study efficiency, high error rate, leadership criticism, teacher education, and even more endangering academics and affecting salaries. People who are convinced of old ideas (overthinking, catastrophic), or who are suffering from social maladaptation because of chronic sleep and chronic anxiety. In fact, they also "gain" from it, but the price is to endure pain and bad. It is not a disease, but that this pattern needs to be corrected.
In addition, there is a key index of anxiety disorders, insomnia people , new ideas, new behavior changes, and you have to pay a price (that is, you need to take responsibility for your own choices and take risks - done, not only useless, but even worse). Like someone who can't sleep, in counseling, I instruct him to keep concentrating on the breath and focusing on the breath in the present nostrils (application of the meditation method). It sounds simple, but it's not easy to do. Is there no way out?
Once you have not fallen asleep and your anxiety has not been alleviated, it is bound to easily cause further denial and fall into a situation of self-criticism, self-loathing, and self-exclusion. This is certainly not unsolvable, usually in two ways:
First, professional help. The professionals here are psychologists with professional backgrounds in psychology, rigorous training experience, and continuous supervision. Psychological work is by no means a passion to help people, but from the hope and self-confidence that slowly grows from within my own psychology.
Experienced psychologists can probe their contradictions through psychological techniques such as Socratic questioning, guide them to make trade-offs in whether to change, and at the same time, quietly guide them to reconstruct cognition. Notice that this perception is not truth, but the unity of knowledge and action.
Second, self-healing. The correction of the thinking mode is not overnight, and friends who want to heal themselves should pay attention to "failure, what to do" on the one hand? Again, let go of the kidnapping in your head (I can't, I can't...). ), do what you preach.
First of all, everything you do is not to achieve the degree of acceptance and acceptance, not to deny yourself, not to be uncomfortable, but to allow any situation to happen, to be open to everything, to allow for everything to happen, to have an attitude of permission, and not to agree. If, you have been observing the breath for hours, and you have not fallen asleep and have not succeeded, the same is allowed for failure. Keep being aware of breathing in and out, that's what you need to do.