It is easiest to enter these three misunderstandings when chasing girls

Everyone who pays attention to us knows that girls are not chased, but attracted.

What about the process after attraction?

When girls are willing to chat, engage, and date us.

Looks like a good start.

And often when you think everything is going well, click, die.

Then he came up to me incomprehensibly and asked me: How did the teacher start talking well, and then suddenly ignore me?

Let me explain that after the boy is attracted, he only enters the screening range of the girl, and indeed for the boy, he gets a good deck of cards.

But the process of contact is a process of adding points, such as your thoughtfulness, love, three views and so on;

At the same time, it is also the process of boys exposing their shortcomings, a process of deducting points, because people will always make mistakes.

Fortunately, you have followed me, and I have summarized 3 common mistakes in the process of contact after attraction, which must be kept in mind and must not be violated!

1. Too egotistical and likes to argue

Due to the strong logical thinking of boys, in the chat and contact with girls, it is easy to fall into the misunderstanding of argument, and sometimes a small thing can cause a big contradiction.

For example, sometimes girls and boys discuss the issue of dressing style.

Some straight men will think that the girl's revealing dress is a cliché, and then start to cite a lot of facts to prove their arguments.

Over time, girls will feel like they are participating in a debate tournament.

And often argue with girls, it will make girls have a feeling of being violated, and girls will feel that you are "raping" her thoughts.

If you keep the girl in a defensive role, how can she enjoy contact with you?

Girls are emotional animals and rarely judge others by right or wrong.

Some of your so-called big truths, girls do not understand, but do not want to understand.

In the end, even if you verbally win her, you actually lose her.

Because she will find it stressful and tedious to be in contact with you.

The right way:

Remember that girls often express themselves in a way that is illogical, and they are more based on personal preferences.

When they express a thing, it is not more about the problem itself, but about their own emotions.

Therefore, when girls express their opinions, most of them just want to be recognized, and no one likes others to deny their views.

If you want to be a boy with high emotional intelligence, you must understand the principle of seeking common ground while reserving differences.

Even if there is a deviation in the concept, you must first understand her from the perspective of the other party, and then express your own opinion.

For example, if the girl above discusses the problem of revealing clothing with you, you can tell her completely.

"Although I am more conservative, I also think that this can better reflect the figure of girls." It's not easy to get to the summer, of course, I have to show off my body..."

In cases where the relationship is better, it can even be said:

"I think of the picture of you wearing this dress, it must be very sexy, haha."

2. Blind unilateral payment

I have been in contact with too many students, and many people are accustomed to paying to girls, and it is unconditional.

Boo han asks for warmth, commutes to and from work, habitually pays the bill, and worships girls as gods.

In the end, the other party did not appreciate it, and felt like a mental retardation.

Actually, we like a guy and always want to be desperately nice to her.

Try to express and prove your love in this way, "exchanging" the feelings of the girl.

In fact, when we do this, we actually express two meanings:

1. I am a man without an ego and I can treat you as the whole world.

2. I have no other value to offer than to be good to you.

The above is actually fine, and when you pay too much, some boys will even have this idea:

"I'm so good to you, you should be with me!"

This is the form of the boy's subconscious, so it will trigger some behavior of asking for returns, such as suggesting the other party's own identity and position in the girl's heart.

Girls will feel that they have short hands, feel that you are good to her, and whether she should "deserve" to like you too.

When this mentality appears, it leads to the emergence of natural likes, and the inner antagonism of girls will lead to the loss of attraction.

In fact, even if a girl accepts you, it is also out of the rational level, and real feelings and rationality are irrelevant.

Many boys turn themselves into "providers" in relationships, and once the ability to "provide" is reduced, or the other party encounters a better choice, they can leave you immediately.

In a relationship, a girl's experience of the relationship does not come from what she gets from you, but depends on what she gives in the relationship.

We only care about what we have invested in, just as we are reluctant to leave a person, essentially putting too much time, energy, feelings, and so on on that person.

So be sure to learn the correct "exchange" principle, when you give something to the girl, you must make some appropriate requirements for her, so that she thinks that your efforts are the result of her own efforts.

For example, if you ask a girl to watch a movie, you can ask her to buy you a drink; if you ask you to help, you can let her invite you to dinner afterwards, or at least let her seriously praise you and so on.

Remember, don't turn this "exchange" principle into a pretense, think about what girls do in this regard.

Like sometimes, when I ask my assistant to do something outside of work, she says:

"I'm doing so well, don't invite me for a cup of coffee."

Only by returning the other's way and returning the other's body can we never lose a battle.

3. Often try to convince girls

Everything that most boys give will always be ignored or even rejected by girls.

Another reason is that boys always try to convince girls to like themselves.

When girls are not interested in us, praying, persuading, stalking, etc., are all delusional attempts to change her opinion of you through rational means, which is not the attitude that should be treated with feelings.

Like the following similar situation, I believe many brothers have encountered it.

M: The weather is good today, do you want to go to xx to play?

F: I don't want to go.

M: It's such a good day, what is it to stay at home, how boring. (Persuasion 1)

F: I don't want to move.

M: Come out, I'll take you to eat something delicious. (Persuasion 2)

F: No, I went to take a shower...

Boy, pawn

Many times when you try to convince a girl to agree to your request, it should be thought that she will find countless excuses to reject you.

"Confessing death" is the most obvious result of persuasion failure.

Most men's confessional lines are:

"How much I like you, I am willing to take care of you for a lifetime, how will I do in the future, please be my girlfriend"

See, the subconscious approach of the male mind is to habitually persuade girls how to do it.

Girls have their own judgments and instinctive reactions to the concept of "attraction", and it is difficult for you to change her easily.

Any attempt to persuade a girl to agree to your request will only reduce yourself to a beggar in your relationship.

Even if she says yes to you, it's just out of pity and courtesy.

The right way is for girls to "convince themselves", which is fundamentally different.

When you have built up enough comfort and attraction, she will naturally approve of you and consciously want to agree to your requests.

Here we can use a vague expectation to complete the process, for example, when you and the girl chat is not bad, you can interact like this:

You: If I take you to XX to play, will you get lost?

F: You'll get lost, I remember it well.

You: Haha, when the time comes, I will deliberately hide to see if you will find me.

F: Then try it.

This way is to let the girl subconsciously form the action of meeting you.

And the more you describe your expectations, the easier it will be for her to agree to your offer.

Of course, the premise of all this is to be based on attraction and security, and never change girls in a convincing way.

If you can avoid the above three points, then if you hold a good hand of cards, you will not be far from victory.