When my son was 3 years old, I once took him to a science museum to play and was bullied by the eldest child.
The Science Museum is free to play and has a lot of interesting scientific instruments. There are many people on weekends, attracting many parents and children, and they can learn some simple scientific knowledge in the process of playing.
The son was in front of a small instrument, although he was very anxious and wanted to play, but he was also very orderly, and he lined up with several children who were about the same age for a long time.
It was the son's turn to be the next one. At this time, there came a big brother who was about 9 years old. He completely ignored the children who were waiting in line, and went straight to the instrument to play in line.
The son looked angrily at the instrument and the big brother, and the little face was red with anger. At a young age, he didn't know what to do, only to see him use his small hand to clap the hand of the big brother who was pressing the button, although he was angry but also very scared, after beating the big brother, he got into my arms and cried loudly.
I got angry and said to my big brother, "Isn't it great to be older?" Don't you see children younger than you lined up? Your big brother doesn't know how to queue up? ”
The eldest brother did not speak, at this time his mother came from not far away: "Your son hit someone, why don't you say him?" ”
Before I could continue, my big brother said to his mother, "Leave him alone, let's go." ”
Seezon's view:
What can a 3-year-old child do if he is bullied by his big brother? With the expression ability of 3 years old, to tell the big brother the big truth? Tell him: "Brother, everyone younger than you is in line, you are bullying the small, it is not right to cut in line." "A 3-year-old child doesn't understand things himself, can he still expect him to reason with others and persuade others?"
How lethal can it be to clap the hand of the big brother, and the 3-year-old child can only use the action to show his attitude: you don't line up to grab my position, I can't tolerate it. Although I also taught my son afterwards not to do it, I could understand what he was thinking at the time and how he could react.
Inevitably, some older children will bully younger than him. This mother saw that the children all knew the queue, and her son did not queue up, but only knew that the protector was earnest, conniving at him to bully the children, and not letting her son suffer losses.
The eldest brother may have realized that he was wrong, pulled his mother away, and did not suffer a loss in his mouth, saying, "Leave him alone, let's go." "Put the blame on someone else.
If my son hit his big brother when I wasn't around, it was very likely that his mother would come and scold my son for beating someone.
Later I taught my son that when someone else bullied you, if he was wrong, call me back.
Why?
Once went to the park with my son. A child of about four or five years old may have been bullied by the eldest child, and his father was beside him to educate him: "Son, if someone bullies you, you are about the same age as you, you will beat him back to death." "The impact of this conversation on me was very great. From an early age, it was said that fighting was wrong. Yeah, if it's true that the other person is doing something wrong, why not hit him back?
In the process of parenting, I paid great attention to cultivating him to follow the rules, and he learned to distinguish between right and wrong on his own. I have observed my son's several arguments with others, but others have not paid attention to the rules, so I trust him and know that he is doing something wrong because others are doing something wrong, so I can let him fight back.
Children's destructive power is limited, the so-called fight, many times is to clap hands and feet, the consequences are limited.
But also to talk about principles:
Focus on protecting yourself
First loudly reprimand the other party not to hit me, if the other parent is present to find the parent to complain, there is no parent and the other party does not listen to the way to do it again. The purpose of the action is to stop the other party and not let others hurt themselves.
Don't use tools, don't cause harm to each other and yourself.
Fight if you can beat it, don't die when you encounter a big child who can't beat it, run when you should run, and be unharmed.
Afterwards, tell your parents what the reason for the fight and the overall experience are.
Although it is said that it is to fight back, the child is now 7 years old, and the number of fights from childhood to adulthood may not exceed 3 times. The group of children is also a small society, and blindly pleasing and showing weakness is not the only way to solve the problem. Children need to be trained from elementary school to how to deal with bullying, how to deal with unfair treatment, how to deal with interpersonal relationships, and how to survive in society.
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