There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, but with these simple and effective communication skills, you can make your relationship better than ever.
In everyday life, quarrels, miscommunication, and many other problems arise. So, how can you avoid them and communicate better with your partner?
For many of us, feelings are the most puzzling, exciting, frustrating, exhausting, fulfilling, emotional, and chaotic aspect of our lives.
It's where we really know ourselves, and in the process we often feel completely powerless.
A friend of mine in yoga class recently asked me an interesting question. "From your professional perspective, what are the most common challenges people face in relationships?" Of course, the answer is easy to come up with, and perhaps not surprisingly: communication!
In general, women like to think of their partners as mind readers, as if the people they choose have these innate telepathic abilities. They have an idea, a map, that shows exactly in their minds how they think their partner should behave and what they should say or do without actually communicating those assumptions directly.
Worse still, you become angry and resentful when your spouse doesn't exactly do or say what you envision. Rationally think about why more than 50% of marriages end in divorce, is there really anything wrong with that?
The "telepathic" way of communicating – just wanting and wanting your partner to understand your needs and desires without your guidance – is impossible. Eventually you get angry and angry, which is not an effective communication strategy.
If these relationship challenges are not resolved, denied, and not given any attention, they become a source of constant conflict, hurt feelings, and endless cycles of disappointment.
But there is still hope. There is a solution!
In many ways, communicating and learning to speak each other's "language" is the true meaning of intimacy. Dealing with specificity issues in communication can often be crazy. You can even ask your partner, "Why don't you just bring up what you want directly instead of suggesting it?"
While this can be frustrating, these nuances – the nuances in your relationship – are the backbone of intimacy, connection, and the fun and play of learning each other's language!
That's what makes the experience of a relationship what it is now. If you figure everything out, you're just a boring robot.
If you make an effort to communicate your needs, I guess you have a lot of "secret code" about what you want and need. So, how do you get what you need by being closer to the center and doing it in a fun and playful way?
Here are 5 better ways to communicate that can make your relationship stronger than ever.
1. Play in combination.
Sometimes, when a situation seems life or death, the best way to vent emotions is through play and humor.
Poking at something "very serious" when emotions are high can feel like a very risky move and seem very complicated. The arguments I've experienced that have finally resolved the issue have been when my partner and I came out, stopped taking ourselves seriously, and found a way to laugh.
Men, this is often your role, when the opportunity arises, please grab it. warn. This requires you to pay more attention to your partner and never appear condescending or resentful.
Communicate with love, in a slightly lighter way than you're experiencing now, and you might be surprised at what happens next.
It might look like this:
Her: "You're a terrible boyfriend, you've never done anything I asked for!" "
You: "Oh, I'm the worst boyfriend in the world?" Well, I agree. So what do you hate about me the most? "
2. Take your attention off yourself.
You are a person with feelings. When you're with someone, you almost always know when he's there and when he's leaving.
In a relationship, it's especially important to trust that your partner loves you, cares about you, won't leave you, and commits to keeping your relationship going.
If you can use this as a baseline level for your connection and commit to trusting them, your brain won't be contaminated with the fear of doubt, chattering that you're not good enough, she doesn't love you, she'll break up with you, leave you to find co-workers she talks about a lot, and so on.
When your mind is constantly filled with these sounds, you don't exist and you don't feel the other person. Identifying you as a valuable and capable partner from the outset will expand the attention you can provide, opening up and expressing more possibilities than you know.
3. Listen to your body
You can feel when something hasn't landed or isn't being received. When you communicate with your partner, listen to how you feel. Does it feel open, relaxed, or the residue from previous discussions that has not been fully treated?
Believe this and say, "Didn't something I said earlier upset you?" Do you have anything on your mind? Do you need me to do anything? "
Try to speak out about how you feel and expand your own scope. You may not know what to say, but don't be afraid to venture into potentially difficult territory.
On the other hand are closer and closer connections. Be willing to say things that make you uncomfortable and you'll almost always get rewarded. Be willing to take risks for the sake of connection.
4. Remember, everyone is doing their best.
When you start from the perspective of love, compassion, compassion, there are ways to get better.
Within your means, try to remember that your partner is their independent person with their own unique flaws and experiences that have made them what they are today. They have a wide variety of skills and challenges, and their own whole set of voices is always at work in their heads.
They are doing their best to use the tools they have learned or been given. Assume they are the best and make it your goal to help them win with you.
When you can't get back into a fragile and honest relationship, be as clear as possible about where you're coming from and what you need. Let them do the same for you.
Sometimes everyone needs to remind themselves, "I love you, I'm doing my best."
5. Be curious.
In heated or challenging debates or discussions, it is difficult to stay awake. As a follow-up, listen to your body and always be curious.
Use your attention to ask questions and understand what is happening to your partner. If you adjust your focus and find yourself really curious about a sentence or comment, trust yourself and ask
Maybe there's an answer that somehow enters your body. You can ask questions like, "What just happened?" What do you mean by that? "
Also, be sure to ask your consent before asking the above questions: "Can I ask you some questions?" Then ask what you want to know.
Remember, if you're from a place where you're connected and loving, and they're doing their best, it's going to manifest itself in your communication and open up a place that might have been a stalemate or stuck in the past.
Like what you just read? I want to know what you think about it. So, leave a message in the comments section. In addition, remember to search for Fei on WeChat to talk about emotions, pay attention to Fei'er, Fei'er guarantees that Fei'er will become the lucky charm of your beautiful love life.