That day in the forum, I saw a mother complaining that she had been accompanying her baby with her heart, and that the child tried to meet any wishes. Every week, independent time is set up for children to exercise and socialize.
Both parents used to be academic bullies, not to mention genetics, at least the learning experience can be shared with the children. It is useless to share the results. It's all chickens talking to ducks, and winking at the blind.
The child is hanging ErLang dang's oil and salt do not enter. Homework learning is two words perfunctory. Finish writing the arithmetic. A bunch of mistakes, scrawled handwriting. Let him correct, he is not good at correcting, directly copy an answer, and make a mistake.
All day long, children are not interested in anything but games and cards. The science fiction and history books bought by parents should not be read by children.
So this mother let out a sigh: she and her baby father used to be very hard-working students. She never looked at saints or talked about saints, and the father of the child did not play games. The result is such a child who has no internal drive at all.
Mothers used to cook for their children carefully, change their tricks, and spare no time and energy. Now see wa such a learning attitude, angry one Buddha was born, two Buddhas ascended to heaven, simply want to lie flat, basic eating and wearing degrees to provide until the age of 18.
The same is the end of the world fallen mother, such a child should not be too much.
Especially after the double reduction, many children's internal drive has shrunk visibly with the naked eye. But maybe there is no internal drive, it is all pushed behind the parents. The double subtraction just gives the baby an excuse to work a little harder.
The internal drive is quite mysterious. It's a bit like the ren dou erma in the martial arts world, opening up is opening up, not opening the trick is not opening the trick. The one who can manually open the second vein of Ren Dou for Wa is either the Grandmaster Taidou with white hair and beard, or the hermit high-ranking person.
Most of the fathers and mothers are ordinary people, and they can't shake the children from the outside.
Now the tricky one is tricky in this internal drive.
The average person wants to generate internal driving force, which is nothing more than three ways:
1. Learning can continuously bring him positive feedback.
A bully, found that through learning, can solve the problem, get a high score, and then get the praise of teachers and parents, the admiration of classmates, he enjoys this feeling, he will always work hard to learn, to keep his position as a bully.
This is the best internal drive, but the problem is that not all children have tried the feeling of learning to bully and get the sweetness of learning. Some children have never learned well, so they don't care about positive feedback. Learning to send to the bully, are all sugar, left to the scum are beaten, where the positive feedback comes from.
Some parents say, then I can't boast about it.
Most people can't do this. Give you a failed roll, even if the parents really cheekily boasted, after all, not an authentic actor, can you control the vicious muscles and expressions on your face?
Even if the parents are good at acting, take antihypertensive drugs in advance, and barely control it, the baby herself knows that the results are not good. If you go to school, you will still be hit by teachers and classmates.
So for Puwa and scum, this one doesn't work very well.
2. Read books in order to change the bad living conditions or material conditions.
Why do many children in rural areas or poor families study so hard? Summer learning three volts, winter learning three nine, is not in order to one day be able to change the bad living environment, have better material conditions.
But today's children, first of all, there is no problem in eating and dressing warmly. The material conditions are actually not much worse. No matter how bad it is, there are mobile phones to play, there is food to eat, and there is KFC to eat.
Children who don't have shoes and socks to wear and children who just can't afford an AJ have a lot less motivation to learn.
The former has three meals of radish pickles a day, anyway, there is no good thing to eat, and I don't care, so I read a book. The latter's attention was attracted to something else after two days.
Now many babies are very Buddhist, and if you ask him what he wants, he may not be able to figure it out. As this mother said, if the child has any wish, the parents will meet him.
Herein lies the problem. His wishes have been fulfilled, what motivation does he have to study? Is it possible that after becoming a parent, you can continue to fulfill your son's wishes?
Don't talk about children, it's adults, how many demolition second generation will be tired and tired 996 ah?
3, be looked down upon, and read books in order to fight for a breath.
This kind of radical method is not effective for every child. Only the kind of baby with a relatively high heart and a relatively large temper will eat this set. To put it more bluntly, children with inferiority are more likely to be provoked: you say that I am not good, I want to prove to you with practical actions, I can.
Today's children have grown up with love and freedom since childhood. Self-esteem levels are higher than those of mom and dad. If you say he can't do it, he won't think he really can't do it, and he will prove it to you with his actions. He will only roll your eyes and scold: You say I can't do it, I can't do it? Which onion do you count?
Of course this is a good thing. After many cold nobles, admitted to college, and settled down in the city, a move that others did not care about will make him extremely sensitive. The child who grows up with love and freedom is much more peaceful, and will not be suspicious and suspicious, thinking that others are satirizing him.
The negative effect is that this kind of child is also difficult to use the radical method to stimulate it.
Since the internal drive force is so difficult to engage, then the external drive force can not be on top?
In the past, many experts said that the external drive force cannot be used blindly, otherwise the threshold will become higher and higher in the future, and the stimulation will not move.
But there is no way, as the mother of the scum baby, I still have to try it, it is really waiting for the internal drive to wait until the flowers are also thanked, and I can only use the external force.
However, my baby threshold is indeed relatively low. Do an assignment for 1 point, 1 point equals 1 dollar she also does. If she had money, I would let her see a treasure.
If it is not to say that it is the nature of women to buy and buy, so is the small woman. She would shop for 15 minutes for something for a few dollars. I will also do extra homework in order to be able to visit a treasure.
Progress is definitely a little, and it is better to do than not to do. However, the external drive reward is that these points are not good.
One is that The baby is bargaining with me. Can this have points, that can not have money to take. Although money is a small thing, it does not make her feel that everything has a price tag. There are also tasks that she completes with poor quality and grinds with me.
Of course, this is nothing, it is nothing more than a bit of tongue-in-cheek.
The trouble is, this kid, how much to spend. Give her 10 yuan a day and she will spend 5 yuan. No matter how small it is, she doesn't care. Mathematics is not bad, but the number is quite skilled, each time a few extra cents, I can not refuse, and can not calculate the number.
Fortunately, after this period of time, she learned not to buy things that cost freight. But this kind of spending style really makes me worry whether she will become a standard moonlight in the future.
No matter what you say, the scum mother only has to try more to see if one day the baby will automatically open the second pulse of Ren Dou.
To give up is to say angry. Even if you can't get into high school, don't you have to wait for the baby to find a path she likes? Internal drive force external drive or something, do parents can only follow the side step by step, from time to time to use their brains. Think of all the ways.
What else could you do!
Next year's Double Eleven, simply let her help me make up the bill.