Text/Chun Yu Duo
When I was a child, I heard a legend that in ancient times, a fisherman was fishing by the lake, and suddenly he saw a few fairies playing in the water under the waterfall in the distance, and their feathers were placed on the shore next to them.
The fisherman's family was very poor, and he could not afford to marry his daughter-in-law, and he heard others say that as long as the fairy's feather coat was hidden, the fairy could not fly away, but could only stay in the human world.
So he sneaked over, took one of the feather coats, and quietly hid it.
When the fairies had had enough to return to the heavenly court, there was a beautiful fairy, but they couldn't find her feathers, but at this time it was getting late, and in desperation, her sisters had to fly back to the sky first.
The fairy, who had lost her feather coat, could not go back, and the fisherman jumped out and asked the fairy to go home with him. The fairy had no feathers, and she had no mana, so she had to follow the fisherman back home.
Despite her reluctance, the fairy became intimate with the fisherman and gave birth to a child, while the fisherman always hid the fairy's feather coat and was reluctant to return it to his wife, and the fairy was very homesick and became more and more depressed.
Later, the fairy's sisters came and brought a newly woven feather coat, and the fairy immediately put on the feather and flew into the sky.
But as soon as she flew into the clouds, the fairy heard the child's cry, and she was very reluctant to have the child, and after some painful consideration, the fairy turned and flew back to the human world, took off her feather coat with her own hands, and put it into the bottom of the box.
In this way, the fairy remained in the human world for the rest of her life and became an ordinary woman.
The story of Kim Ji-young is also the epitome of all women
And the real mothers, like this fairy who took off her feathers, from the beginning of marriage, she tossed and turned in the family's chai rice oil and salt, spending in the child's and urine, for the sake of the family and the child, countless mothers had to give up their egos.
If you ask, is this something that our women actively choose?
I would like to say absolutely not, this is just a subtle, "so-called" rule made by the other half of the world, and generations of women just habitually follow it.
Thousands of years of customs have been followed, and women have been asked to dedicate themselves, especially after becoming the wife of a certain man, after becoming the mother of a child, they are not even qualified to cry out.
"Kim Ji-young born in 82" is a novel written by Korean female writer Cho Nam-joo, sensitive and delicate, she has long been aware that the entire society for women, especially women as mothers, have a deep injustice and harshness, it is in this context that gave birth to the story of Kim Ji-young.
Although the story is about the current situation of Korean women from birth to growth, schooling, work, marriage, and child-rearing, we can clearly see our own shadow in this book, and even our current situation may not be as good as Kim Ji-young.
The heroine of the novel, Jin Zhiying, after giving birth to a child, gradually developed mental illness, which led to a split personality. Her husband, Zheng Daixian, who is unknown, although he is also worried about this, cannot understand her heart.
Because he never realized that the uneasiness and grievances caused by sexism were suppressed by his wife from childhood to adulthood, and at the same time, he continued to accumulate, coupled with postpartum depression and the hardships of child-rearing, these factors combined to crush Jin Zhiying.
But in addition to Kim Ji-young, the author has also created a number of women who dare to speak out, such as Liu Na, Zhiying's sister, big sister head, Kim Eun-sil's group leader, etc., who are not blindly compromising with men and injustice, but in a social atmosphere that is not friendly to women, they also eventually lose to reality.
Because in real life, it is not themselves who can define their value, but the other half of the people who control the rules, and this half of the people is the most incapable of reflection.
We stumbled and grew up, like Kim Ji-young
Fast forward to 1982, on the first day of April, at a hospital in Seoul, the kim family's second daughter, Kim Ji-young, was born.
When she was born, she was not liked by her patriarchal grandmother, and her mother cried and apologized to her grandmother, as if she had given birth to another daughter, all of which was her fault.
Five years later, her mother gave birth to a younger brother, and from the moment her brother was born, she and her sister were treated differently.
Because it is a girl, stealing her brother's milk powder will be beaten by her grandmother, her brother eats dumplings and pork cakes, they can only eat the crumbs on the plate, the younger brother has the best everything, they can only watch, this scene, it can be said that many post-80s girls have memories.
From elementary school to entering society, Jin Zhiying and the girls around her have all suffered all kinds of unfair treatment.
She was bullied by the domineering male table, and the teacher excused the boy on the grounds that the boy liked her; the girls caught the perverted male exposure outside the school, but were written a week's review by the school on the grounds of shame; some girls were admitted to college, but because the boys in the family had to go to school, they had to drop out of school to work.
It is easy to graduate from college, but you can't find a job, because women are generally not welcome in the workplace, think they are in trouble, sooner or later they have to get married and have children and resign; and it is easy to find a job, but it is easy to be sexually harassed by various men, and often blamed, they are victims.
From the original family to the school, to the society, and then to the new family, because of the female identity and unfair treatment, resulting in the inability to get the same recognition as the pay, and even labeled: "mother worm (a contemptuous name for the mother)", "reading is not as good as marrying", "housewives are generally lazy and incompetent", etc., as if this is the natural fate of women.
But in fact, this is the fate of most women, once married and start a family, it will be spawned, and once pregnant, her career will basically press the pause button.
Jin Zhiying is like this, by the in-laws' three sisters and six wives constantly spawned, so forced to leave the job she likes, she is like a fairy who lost her feathers, identity and value have disappeared, so on the day she quit her job, Jin Zhiying, who has a big belly, hides in the bed and cries.
Jin Zhiying's mental illness hides many hidden pains
After that, Jin Zhiying had to hide at home, take the children alone to do housework, often vomited by the baby, always tired to the point of back pain, but also by the in-laws of all kinds of picky, every day is like a war.
Coupled with a "pig teammate" Zheng Daixian, either ignoring his wife, or out of kindness, "helping" his wife with children, how can Jin Zhiying not hold back in his heart?
In the whole novel, Jin Zhiying, who has suffered many grievances, only broke out once in his own identity:
Can you stop saying "help" me? Help me with the housework, help me with the children, isn't this your home, your business, your children? Besides, if I go to make an announcement, will the money I earn only be spent on me? Why do you talk like you're kind enough to help others do things? ”
This long-suppressed emotional outburst ended with Zhiying taking the initiative to apologize to her husband, because in her heart, it was still a traditional thought, and she felt that women should pay selflessly for the family, and could not have the slightest dissatisfaction and complaints, but at the same time, she was painful and confused.
We might as well ask ourselves, for "me": What is the meaning of marriage? Is it to give up the self and seek perfection? Is it hard work and despised?
Watching the gap between ideal and reality gradually fission, Kim Ji-young, who gave up herself, did not get the most basic respect and understanding, which is also an important reason for her inner division.
When reading "Jin Zhiying Born in 82", you can feel the author's layers of mood and helplessness, while speaking out for all women, her concern about the current situation of women in the current society is not unreasonable, so the novel in the ambiguous sadness, to the end: After many times of psychological treatment, Jin Zhiying did not recover as before.
There is a metaphor worth thinking about: it is not Kim Ji-young who is sick, but other "people", and if it continues, there will be more "Kim Ji-young".
Indeed, if society cannot fundamentally change its attitude towards women, and even continue to suppress and ridicule women's protests and voices, the "Jin Zhiying" around us will only increase.
In fact, who doesn't want to wear a feather jacket and fly freely?
Responsibility for the family and children should not become a shackle that traps women, and the stolen feather coat is the dream of the fairy.