"To the children who, in the deepest and deepest darkness, wandering alone in the streets, with no place to go".
This is Bai Xianyong's opening words in his only novel, "The Evil Son". "The Evil Sons" is about a unique group of homosexuals who lived in The New Park on Qianlu Road in Taipei City in the 1960s.
Bai Xianyong can be said to have come from a famous family, and his father was the famous "Little Zhuge Ge" Bai Chongxi, who was one of the top Gui warlord leaders in the Republic of China period.
It's just that even though his father is in a high position of power, Bai Xianyong, who was born in the war-torn era, still suffered the pain of exile brought about by the war, and he followed his family to move many times, and it seems that his whole life was spent in the wandering...
Such a rich life experience, coupled with the fact that he later experienced the death of his father and the fall of the family road, made Bai Xianyong have a deeper understanding of society and life, and he slowly recorded what he thought in his heart with words, and grew into a famous writer in the United States.
Bai Xianyong's "Evil Son" is the first novel in the history of contemporary Chinese literature with homosexual themes. Will choose to touch such a subject, Bai Xianyong is undoubtedly both bold and emotional.
Of course, only if he himself is a member of this group can he deeply describe the psychological and living conditions of this group. So what did he go through? Is his father, Bai Chongxi, aware of his son's special orientation? What is my father's attitude toward this?
First, the lonely life in the early years
A few days after the July 7 Incident, that is, on July 11, 1937, Bai Xianyong was born.
For the birth of this son, Bai Chongxi did not have much excitement, after all, he already had seven children before that. Bai Xianyong ranked eighth in the family, and his physique was not very good since childhood.
Father's education is crucial to the growth of children, but when Bai Xianyong was a child, Bai Chongxi often could not take care of his family because he was in an important position and was entangled in military affairs, so for Bai Xianyong, the role of father was often absent.
However, Bai Chongxi's requirements for his children are very strict, Bai Xianyong once mentioned that his father Bai Chongxi never let go of his hand in forcing his children to study at home, and his brothers and sisters later recalled that his father was still worried when he took the school arithmetic at the dinner table.
Bai Xianyong was born in the Guilin Bai Mansion, and before the age of seven, he lived in Guilin, which was also a rare and happy time in his childhood. The beauty of this period is reflected in his later works, and this family feeling is also the most true portrayal of Bai Xianyong's heart.
In 1983, Bai Xianyong wrote an essay "The Sixth Hand" in the United States, in which he recalled his life in Guilin when he was a child, which was his last year in his hometown of Guilin before he fell seriously ill, and he still remembered the Tiefo Temple, Wind Cave Mountain and Dongzhen Road in his hometown.
Many years later, Bai Xianyong returned to his hometown, and he could still say thank you to the people who came to pick him up in an authentic Guilin dialect: "You have worked hard", which caused everyone to sigh that his hometown voice has not changed, which is really rare.
In 2012, Bai Xianyong also said in an interview with reporters when he returned to China: "Guilin is indeed a world of mountains and rivers, and this kind of beauty of mountains and rivers is not available in the world." My mood of going back is also mixed with sorrow and joy, sad that my parents are gone, things are not human, and I will feel that the country and mountains are still the same, or so beautiful, this is a place that makes people happy. ”
However, good times are like white colts, and happy days are always short-lived. With the continuous spread of the war, Changsha and Guilin and other places fell one after another, and Bai Xianyong's family had to follow Bai Chongxi from Guilin to Chongqing.
Although Bai Chongxi often does not go home, as we mentioned earlier, he attaches great importance to the education of his children, and every time he calls back from the front, he will definitely ask about the children's grades, and the children's status in the family is even determined by the quality of their academic performance.
After settling down in Chongqing at that time, Bai Xianyong, who was old enough to study, was assigned to study at Xiwenquan Primary School, which was a very good school at that time. Bai Xianyong once recalled: "Although my father was born in the military, he attached great importance to education, and every time he went to a place, he would find a way to send us to the best school to study." ”
And Bai Xianyong himself has been very keen on reading since he was a child, and likes to listen to all kinds of old stories. But to some surprise, his literary enlightenment was that he was a cook in the family.
He mentioned this matter in "Looking Back": The cook in the family, Lao Yang, was a native of Guilin, had been a fire-headed army, could speak the Tao, and had some knowledge, and also liked to tell stories, and the first story he told Bai Xianyong was "Xue Rengui Zhengdong".
Later, in an interview, Bai Xianyong also said: "Lao Yang can be a first-class storyteller, the stories he tells are very expressive, he is not willing to sleep, he also has an influence on me, and he can be called my enlightenment teacher of literature." ”
In fact, Bai Xianyong liked lao Yang's story in such a lonely and lonely era background, and this also had a certain impact on his later life experience.
Why? The reason is that shortly after going to school in Chongqing, Bai Xianyong was diagnosed with stage II tuberculosis, which was almost an "incurable disease" at that time, commonly known as tuberculosis, which was highly contagious.
In order to cure his illness and avoid spreading the disease to other people in his family, Bai Xianyong was isolated in a small house on the hillside and lived an isolated life. There is no doubt that this life has brought him great psychological trauma, and sometimes he even feels like an abandoned child.
Many times, when Bai Chongxi was feasting at home, the house was brightly lit and full of guests and friends, but the bustle belonged to others and had nothing to do with him. He stood on the hillside and watched the noisy scene not far away, and Bai Xianyong, who was still a child, couldn't help but cry in tears.
Childhood shaping a person is far-reaching and lasting, so such an experience has also made Bai Xianyong form a suspicious, sensitive, and insecure personality since childhood, he turned grief into imagination in a lonely atmosphere, pouring his thoughts and emotions into words, which may be the internal reason why he is different from ordinary people in his future orientation.
In that most lonely day, Lao Yang's companionship and storytelling became his greatest comfort and a habit of his. Therefore, when he recovered from his illness, Bai Xianyong threw himself into learning and reading with hunger, not only learning every subject well, but also taking time to read a large number of books.
Second, the encounter that affects a lifetime
In that special era, Bai Xianyong's life was destined to be closely linked to his father's political career, and when the Nationalist government collapsed on the mainland, Bai Xianyong also followed his family and once again drifted away.
Bai Xianyong first came to Hong Kong, and soon after, his mother took some of her children to Taipei to join her father Bai Chongxi, and some children went to the United States to study, but Bai Xianyong continued to stay in Hong Kong. It was not until 1952 that Mr. Bai traveled from Hong Kong to Taipei to reunite with his parents.
Bai Xianyong's homework is excellent, and he can still enter the best local Jianguo Middle School in Taipei. At the age of seventeen, Bai Xianyong, who was still a sophomore in high school at Jianguo Middle School, enrolled in a cram school in order to be admitted to a good university.
During a class, he ran wildly because he was about to be late, but accidentally collided with another classmate named Wang Guoxiang, and this collision was a shocking fate.
"As soon as the golden wind and jade dew meet, they will win countless victories in the world." Although this poem describes the beauty of love, for Bai Xianyong, who has surpassed traditional love, such an unexpected encounter is more storylike.
Just as the so-called no fight does not know each other, the two young people have gradually become the best friends. In the article "The Tree Is Like This - Commemorating the Xiangjun of the Kingdom of the Dead Friend", Bai Xianyong said that the two had a tacit understanding of brotherhood and brotherhood from the beginning.
Hua Dan Xu Gehui of Phoenix TV once hosted a talk show "Celebrity Face to Face", which talked to fifteen celebrities in Taiwan's cultural circles, including Bai Xianyong.
Xu Gehui said: "It is very touching that you miss your article on your own Kingdom Xiang all your life, you have lived together for thirty-eight years, and I have been thinking about what kind of emotion it is. I also read in the article that your encounter was a childlike process, and both of you happened to be late and met in this way. ”
Bai Xianyong was silent for a moment and then replied, "So, I later felt more and more that fate was a very magical thing, and that people's encounters were entirely based on fate." Otherwise, why is the world so big, there are so many people, and two people will meet, meet, and become the best friends? Perhaps there is a power of destiny in the underworld. ”
After Bai Xianyong and Wang Guoxiang became good friends, they got closer and closer, and the two even discussed entering the same university.
In fact, Bai Xianyong originally had the opportunity to guarantee the National Taiwan University, but because he had a water conservancy dream and wanted to go to the Three Gorges of the Yangtze River to build a dam in the future, he applied for the water conservancy department of the University of Chenggong.
Wang Guoxiang was very supportive of the decision of his best friend Bai Xianyong and was admitted to Chenggong University instead. He was a high-achieving student himself, and there was no problem in entering National Taiwan University, but he still went to the Department of Mechanical and Electrical Engineering of Cheng Kung University.
After the two entered the university, they rented a house near the school and lived a relatively comfortable and free university life for a year. However, with the deepening of the curriculum and academics, Bai Xianyong found that his interest was no longer in the water conservancy field, and it was very difficult to study, so he resolutely chose to withdraw from school and re-entered the Department of Foreign Languages of National Taiwan University.
But what he didn't expect was that at this time, Wang Guoxiang also felt that the major he had studied was not in line with his own appetite, he thought that he was not good at engineering, and this was not his hobby, what he really wanted to learn was theoretical science.
With bai xianyong's encouragement, Wang Guoxiang also took this step of transferring schools. He took the transfer exam at National Taiwan University and wanted to transfer to the physics department of the university.
You should know that in that era, not to mention changing schools, that is, it was very difficult to transfer departments on campus, and Wang Guoxiang wanted to change schools again, and he also had to transfer colleges and majors, which was simply as difficult as ascending to the heavens. But he was really too good in his studies, and he was even admitted, and only he was admitted, which shows how difficult this matter was at that time.
Bai Xianyong and Wang Guoxiang first entered the same university together, and then they both made a new choice because they were not satisfied with the major they studied, and they both got their favorite majors, and they were still in the same school.
Bai Xianyong later wrote the book "Evil Sons", which was published in 1977 and was out of step with the times, because it told the story of a group of young Taiwanese people with special sexual orientations. As a result, the book was not first noticed by the mainstream, but was silenced, and it was not until the 1990s that there was slowly more comment and attention.
The reason why he wrote such a book is because Bai Xianyong himself is also a person with special love and special orientation. For Bai Xianyong, this special love is also an extremely important part of his life.
Wang Guoxiang has always been in his life, even if he later died of illness and left him for a long time, but this relationship still does not seem to end.
Third, companionship and remembrance
At that time, just when both of them were glad that they had passed the desired major and that they could go to the same university, bad luck crept in - Wang Guoxiang suffered from an extremely rare blood disease.
Bai Xianyong told Xu Gehui in an interview: "Wang Guoxiang suffered from a blood disease during his college years, and that time he was fortunate to be cured through traditional Chinese medicine. ”
In the more than a year that he got sick, Wang Guoxiang used Western medicine methods to treat, and his condition did not improve at all, and he almost consumed his family's savings, and his situation was very difficult.
Fortunately, one of his relatives heard that dr. Xi Fuyi, a famous doctor in Jiangnan, had healed a Korean expatriate who was worse than him, and only then did he rekindle hope and eventually recover without relying on blood transfusions.
However, when both of them later came to the United States to study and live, Wang Guoxiang's condition recurred twenty years later, and this time it was more dangerous, and it did not get better, and eventually he unfortunately died of illness.
Although the tragedy occurred in the United States, Bai Xianyong and Wang Guoxiang spent most of their days in the United States, and they also had a good memory here.
When they arrived in the United States, they quickly settled down. In 1973, Bai Xianyong moved to the "Hidden Valley", when he was a teacher at the University of California, Barbara, and he took a fancy to a house, but some of the plants such as ivy in the house were not his favorite, so he decided to renovate it.
This kind of renovation project is very time-consuming and laborious, he is a little reluctant alone, but Wang Guoxiang came to help him during the summer vacation, and the two worked together to renovate the house.
At that time, Wang Guoxiang was doing postdoctoral work at Penn State University, and he only had a one-and-a-half-month vacation, but the two worked together for thirty days of gardening work.
Later, the two also bought three seedlings of Italian cypress trees and planted them together in the courtyard. Wang Guoxiang also said at that time that these three trees would definitely surpass other trees in the garden when they grew up, and later these three trees really grew exceptionally well, becoming landmarks in Bai Xianyong's garden.
In later days, Wang Guoxiang changed jobs several times and went to Canada and Texas. Later, he gave up physics and switched to the high-tech industry, but no matter how busy he was, as long as there was a holiday, Wang Guoxiang would go to Bai Xianyong's Barbara's house for a while.
And every time after going to Barbara, the first thing Wang Guoxiang did was to look at the plants they had planted together, and the three trees were already very strong, especially the one in the middle, which was much taller than both sides.
Maybe trees are also "spiritual."
In 1989, Bai Xianyong found that the leaves of the Italian cypress tree in the middle began to turn yellow, and within a few days, the tree was scorched and died as if it had been struck by lightning. Curiously, only the middle of the three trees died, and the next two were still growing well.
Bai Xianyong's unexplained death made Bai Xianyong very sad, and at the same time, he also had some bad premonitions, and it didn't take long to receive the news that Wang Guoxiang was seriously ill again.
Wang Guoxiang called Bai Xianyong to say that his old disease recurred, it was aplastic anemia, although many years ago Wang Guoxiang had cured this disease with traditional Chinese medicine, but this time he was not as lucky as before.
During the days of illness, Bai Xianyong has always accompanied him, driving him to the hospital again and again to see a doctor, and accompanying him to fight against the disease in the hospital. In order to treat him, Bai Xianyong also traveled to many places, from the United States to Taiwan, and then from Taiwan to the mainland, looking for various possible ways to cure the disease.
In the last days of his life, Bai Xianyong obviously became Wang Guoxiang's last reliance and comfort.
Despite the terrible illness, the two still tried everything to live an optimistic life, eating food, watching movies, and even buying osmanthus seeds in the courtyard of Wang Guoxiang's home, taking good care of them.
In January 1992, Bai Xianyong accompanied Wang Guoxiang to spend the last birthday of his life, and in the summer of that year, Wang Guoxiang died of illness, and on the last journey of his life, Bai Xianyong held his hand tightly...
From the above, it is not difficult to see that the feelings of the two are sincere, no matter how outsiders evaluate it, at least the two of them have spent such a long time together, which is enough to be touching.
Fourth, the attitude of father Bai Chongxi
Just for the complex emotions and special orientation of his son Bai Xianyong, does his father Bai Chongxi know? And what is his attitude towards this?
In the eyes of many people, Bai Chongxi, a Kuomintang bureaucratic warlord who has been a hero all his life, must have treated his children as arbitrarily as he handled military decisions, but in fact he did not treat his children as outsiders thought.
Bai Xianyong once said that his father liked to read his own books and knew his special orientation, but he did not interfere rudely, nor did he feel that such a son brought him shame, but he understood very much and respected his son's choice.
In fact, this is not easy for a person in a high position who has come out of the traditional and war-torn years.
Bai Xianyong once wrote an article called "Moon Dream", in which he mentioned his special orientation feelings for the first time, Bai Chongxi carefully read his son's article, naturally he also understands the difference between children and others in this regard, after all, the article often reflects the author's personal thoughts.
What is valuable is that Bai Chongxi did not jump like a thunderbolt because of this, nor did he even take the initiative to mention this matter to his son, and there was a tacit understanding between father and son that they were all in silence, although they did not speak, but both sides knew it.
And this silent and gentle way of getting along also made Bai Xianyong very moved.
Perhaps for Bai Chongxi, he has been traversing the battlefield for decades, experiencing countless big scenes in his life, witnessing too many sorrows and joys and the impermanence of life, and he has looked down on a lot.
Children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren, as long as the children live happily and can realize the value of life with their own abilities, why should there be too much demand?
In fact, this point is also reflected in Bai Xianyong's withdrawal from school and re-examination of the university, Bai Chongxi is hoping that his son can learn theory, do not want him to study literature, although Bai Xianyong rebelled against his father, re-took the college entrance examination and changed his major, but Bai Chongxi did not rudely stop his son, and later saw that his son wrote an excellent article, he was also relieved.
Children can freely choose their own path, can be responsible for their own choices, and have gains, this is not what parents most expect to see?
In the novel "Evil Son", Bai Xianyong portrays the character who commits suicide because the father does not understand the son's special orientation, or wanders the United States because he is expelled from the house by the father, and this tragic role has a lot to do with their father's incomprehension and strong interference.
Compared with the characters in the novel, Bai Xianyong is undoubtedly extremely lucky, because he meets a relatively enlightened father who can also understand himself.