In the evening, with a baby in the community, due to the hot weather, many people began to eat ice cream, only to see, a father bought a chocolate cones, just ate a bite, the daughter came to say like.
The husband whimpered a big mouthful, and the daughter shouted excitedly: "Daddy eat shit!" ”
"Don't say that!" The husband stopped her and raised his slap to scare her.
The daughter saw that the situation was not good and quickly ran, laughing and shouting while running: "Stinky father, eat the smelly fart, let the stinky fart, pull the rice dumplings..."
Then I went up and chatted with My Mother, who was understood to have some "bad taste" recently:
Every time she finished going to the toilet, she looked back at the toilet and asked me, "Mom, what shape do you see me wearing today?" ”
Playing "Talking Tom Cat", I had fun every time to let it fart, and I had to accompany her to enjoy it.
After going to the bathroom with my grandmother, I asked, "Why is my grandmother's urine yellow and my urine watery?" Or "Why is Daddy's poop like Eight Treasure Porridge and mine like ice cream?" ”
I vomit...
Looking like an innocent and cute look, but obsessed with and, full of dirty words, it is really a headache!
In fact, many families are similar, who has not been a "stinky mother" or a "fart mother"!
Several children get together to play, mention the dirty words are excited, the enthusiasm of "chatting" is comparable to men talking about ball games, women talking about bags!
Why do children like to say dirty words, even harsh words?
(1) Enter the curse sensitive period
Early childhood educator Montessori believes that the average child's language ability develops rapidly at the age of 3 to 4, and he gradually realized that language is powerful.
They will try to use the "language power" they have mastered to influence the people around them.
He soon discovered that some words, such as "fart", "stink", "kill" and other negative language are more likely to cause people to respond (such as parents will be angry), and he feels that these words are particularly powerful and will be used frequently to get more attention.
So we usually find:
The more he scolds the child not to say dirty words, the more vigorously the child speaks.
The more intense the parents' reaction, the more the child finds it fun to say dirty words, and the more they want to say it.
Children with these manifestations indicate that they have entered a "curse sensitive period".
Therefore, don't rush to label your child as "swearing" and "uncivilized".
They just discovered the power of language and wanted to verify it. When the child has passed the curse sensitive period, it will return to normal.
(2) Seek attention
During the epidemic, I have been working from home, and I have neglected my daughter, sometimes not taking care of her at all.
Once, I was revising a plan, and my daughter came over to make trouble, and I pushed her casually.
This is a poke in the honeycomb! She slapped the keyboard hard, and as she clapped, she said harshly: "I'm going to kill your computer!" ”
I became even more irritable and blurted out, "If you dare to kill my computer, I will beat you!" ”
Her tears soon welled up, but she still said stubbornly:
"Bad mom! I'll never play with you again!" I won't kiss you anymore! I won't sleep with you anymore! I won't let you eat my snacks anymore! Nor is it..."
She said many things in a row that she would never do with me again, and looking at her tearful eyes, I suddenly felt guilty.
These fierce words, is not the release of her inner emotions?
She blamed me for ignoring her and not being able to express it, so she had to express her dissatisfaction with this attitude of rejecting people thousands of miles away.
I hugged her in pain, and she sobbed and said, "Mom... Play with me..."
(3) Imitate adults
Her girlfriend's son also loves to talk dirty, so she doesn't argue with her husband less.
For example, the son accidentally overturned his rice bowl and said, "I lean on!" Blurted out.
Painting with colored lead, it broke so hard that it came with a "fuck! ”
The most outrageous thing is that after blowing the air conditioner, he had a cold, and his grandmother fed him medicine, and he did not want to drink it, and even scolded: "Stinky grandma, I am annoyed with you!" ”
The girlfriend just criticized her son, and he said: "Fart mother, I'm going to blow you up!" ”
"I lean on!" "Fuck!" "Blow you up!" These are the mantras of the husband, especially like to be rude when playing games, and the son has heard a lot of dirty words.
The Psychology of Child Behavior says:
"When a child speaks dirty words, it is impossible for him to create it himself, and in general, there must be a source of imitation."
Children under the age of 6 spend the most time with their families, and their parents' words and deeds are imitations of their children.
In addition, some cartoons and TV shows may also have uncivilized language, which will also become the source of children's dirty words.
When a child speaks dirty, the parent's first reaction is important.
If the punishment is improper, the child is prone to bad language habits, which affects the development of language ability and later interpersonal communication.
Try doing this:
(1) Don't make a fuss and treat it with a normal heart
Swearing is just a staged act of a child.
A child under the age of 6 does not yet have the concept of civil morality, and he begins to say dirty words only out of curiosity, and even laughs and giggles, as if to say "hello".
In fact, the more he was discouraged, the more interested he might be.
If we don't take it seriously at all, calmly face this behavior, and guide it well, they feel that it is boring to talk about it, and naturally they will not say it after a while.
Therefore, when children say dirty words, instead of criticizing or even scolding, it is better to treat them with a normal heart.
Of course, treating it with a normal heart is not the same as letting it go. If your child repeatedly challenges our bottom line, make sure he understands that swearing is an unwelcome behavior.
For example, you can say to him: "I am very unhappy that you say this, and if you say it again, I will not play with you." ”
Let the child experience the consequences of being snubbed, and he will understand that swear words will make him lose friends, so he will relent.
(2) Divert your child's attention with something more interesting
When the girlfriend's son said dirty words, the child's grandmother guided it like this:
When the son followed his father and said, "I lean on," Grandma asked, "What is 'leaning on'?" Is it that big? We might as well say, 'Oh my Goodness!' 'Isn't it more powerful?' ”
When the son said, Grandma said, is yellow! Let's think about what else is yellow? Bananas, pears, your little car, Princess Elsa's hair, and..."
When the son said "fart grandma", she said, "Do you know what a fart looks like?" I'll find you a fart story! ”
Then I found a story called "Ah! Ass", play for children.
Unconsciously, the girlfriend's son was attracted to the funny story and forgot the dirty words.
Responding to the child's behavior in a punitive way, the child either only remembers the punishment, or feels more and more funny about "dirty words", but does not learn to express it better.
By responding to your child's behavior in gentle, friendly language, your child will learn gentle, friendly expressions.
(3) Purify the child's language environment
Children's use and interpretation of words comes from adults, from life, and especially from parents.
Therefore, parents should lead by example, first change the habit of saying dirty words and create a clean language environment for their children.
At the same time, help your child filter out some bad cartoons, TV shows, etc.
When the adults around the child use civilized language, the child's civilized upbringing is not far behind.
(4) Listen to your child's voice
In the movie "Spring of the Cattle Herding Class", it is said: "Every heart needs love, it needs tenderness, it needs tolerance, it needs understanding." Every child comes from a place of pure innocence and should always be a treasure cherished by the world. ”
Whether the child says "Mommy I love you" or says dirty words, we love him.
To love a child, you must not only pay attention to what he says, but also perceive his unspoken little emotions.
When a child is willful and unlovable, it is precisely when he needs love and companionship the most.
Listen to your child's voice.
Read the child's desire to stop, understand the child's unspoken meaning, and encourage the parents together