Many parents occasionally find that when helping their children sort out their belongings, there are some items that do not belong to their children.
And when I ask my child about the source of the item, the child either can't answer it or make up some small lies that are recognized at a glance (such as "picked up", "xxx gave it to me", "an elder bought it for me", "The teacher rewarded me"... ）。
At this time, parents often have a big alarm bell in their hearts, because a thought comes to mind - this thing may be "stolen" by the child.
Why do children "steal" from an early age?
In fact, it is not right to label children as "stealing things from an early age".
In educational psychology, children before school age do not have the concept of "stealing." (PS: Early childhood: refers to children aged 1-3 years; preschool refers to 3-6 years old; school age: generally 6-12 years old)
Children who are before school age (i.e., in early childhood and preschool) are in a period of self-centeredness, and their awareness of ownership of items is more blurred. So when you see something new or like, you will put it away and own it.
Because they don't know that this is wrong and constitutes the act of "stealing", it is not stealing in the subjective sense, so parents should not think that their children will steal from an early age, and do not label their children like this.
So why do children have "stealing" behavior?
First, the concept of right and wrong has not taken shape
Preschoolers are in the "other legalistic stage," and the concepts of right and wrong and rules have not yet been fully formed in their consciousness. So children often see something they like and put it away. This is unconscious encroachment, not theft by the child's subjective consciousness.
II. Fantasy "Gift"
Preschoolers, because of their young age, can't distinguish between imagination and reality very well (as exemplified in an article about children lying a few days ago), so they sometimes fantasize that this thing was given to them by a "good friend".
It may be difficult to understand, but let's take another simple example: when Sissi was playing with the children in the park, the bow on the head of another little girl fell off, but she did not notice. After the game, everyone went home. Sixi picked up the beautiful bow on the lawn and put it on his head. Mom saw the bow that didn't belong to Sisi and asked where Sisi came from. Sissi replied to her mother, "This is Snow White's bow!" It was given to me by Snow White. Mom probably understood and asked Sissi to return the bow to the little girl, but Sissi refused, insisting that Snow White must have given her.
Did Sissy's butterfly settlement steal? We can only say that this behavior is indeed incorrect. But Sissi was consciously convinced that the bow had been given to her by Snow White. So it's not a subjective sense of lying and stealing.
Third, imitate the herd
Because children are younger, they cannot have the same high ability to identify information as adults. Coupled with the current fragmented information bombardment, it is easy for children to receive incorrect information. Plus the child is in the imitation stage, so it is easy to make some wrong behavior.
And children in this age group have a strong herd mentality, and occasionally there will be unconscious comparison (such as whose clothes look better, or the joke that everyone has heard of my brother dares to eat ) behavior, so sometimes they will make some hand-in-hand behavior to satisfy their own little vanity.
Fourth, the lack of interpersonal relationships
Perhaps parents will also find that as children grow older, it seems that children are not as close as they used to be, and have their own little secrets.
In fact, this is the transfer of children's interpersonal intimate relationships, they have their own small partners, and the friendship relationship can make up for the parent-child relationship to some extent.
But there are always some children whose process is not very closely connected, then this emotion may be transferred to other things (such as items/pets/games).
For the child's situation, parents must not define the child prematurely, let alone punish and suppress it through violent means to avoid the child's rebellious psychology. At the same time, reasonable guidance and education methods should be used to help children correct this bad habit.
Education is a long run, and the king is encouraged.
Pay attention to the little tiger in the candy house, let's learn together, and give the best education for the child.