The author ∣ An Dongyue
Source∣ An Dongyue (ID:andongyue1)
-
01.
Between the opposite sex, it is inevitable that there will be some special feelings after getting along for a long time.
Just like in the TV series "Meet Happiness", Ouyang Yanyan and his subordinate Su Qian are frequently in contact with each other because of their work, and gradually become affectionate.
In the face of Susie, who is young and beautiful, and sincerely admires and admires herself, Ouyang Yanyan almost lost herself and went astray. Fortunately, he woke up in time to save his marriage and keep his family.
There are more such dog blood plots in TV series, but life is often more dog blood than TV series, such as "meeting people outside of marriage", which is really very common. However, some people have poor self-control and choose to indulge, and some people have high ideological awareness and choose to let go. Different people, different choices, nature has different endings.
When you meet someone who is excited outside of marriage, you also know that you shouldn't, but you can never help yourself. Falling in love with someone is never premeditated, but without warning. This feeling is possible for everyone, whether you are single or married.
If you are married, but you meet someone outside of marriage, it is a very tricky thing, and even if you say it, you will be subject to moral criticism and fall under the charge of spiritual infidelity.
Meet the heartthrob person outside of marriage, love can not be, can not forget, very painful, want to find someone to talk to, but can not find a suitable candidate, the heart is even more depressed.
One reader left me a message detailing the problem he was having. It is the person who meets the heart outside of marriage, can't love or forget, the heart is entangled, the pain is unbearable, and I don't know what to do.
02.
The reader is 40 years old, has a family, a wife and children, but he has a crush on a woman who is two years older than him.
It was a strong woman, his boss, and also had a family. As her assistant, he had a lot of contact at work, and over time, he knew exactly what personalities, what temperaments, and what preferences they had.
Coupled with her leadership style, but also without losing the charm of women, occasionally a little confused, let him feel very cute. Falling in love with her is really hard for myself.
Because I like her, I work for her wholeheartedly and are loyal to the company. He was very capable of his work, was her right-hand man, and she was very good to him.
However, whether this good is the boss's love for employees, or contains other feelings, he can't tell, can't see through, can't eat accurately, this is also his pain.
They discussed the work together, both seriously and intimately and naturally. They occasionally ate together without any physical contact, but there was a special feeling, or it could be just an illusion that he was alone.
As his feelings for her grew deeper and stronger, he finally found an opportunity to confess to her through the strength of wine. He said, I like you, and I feel, you like me too, right?
She said nothing, neither acknowledged nor denied it. Unwillingly, he repeatedly asked questions, and explained that he was just genuinely and simply liked her, not wanting anything to happen to her or need her to do anything for him. He just wanted to know how she felt about him, if there was a little bit of liking.
She was silent for a long time and said, "Your feeling is right. ”
He was ecstatic, it turned out that everything was not his delusion, she also liked him!
03.
After that, he was like a young guy in love, energetic every day, more active and harder at work. She is also as caring and considerate as possible.
They don't have any substantive development in private, but there is some ambiguity when working together, such as a few witty remarks. Occasionally, she would coddle him.
Rao was so, and there was some gossip about them in the company. Gradually, she began to alienate him, to ignore him, to talk to him more officially and politely, and sometimes to harshly rebuke him for some small problems, which made it difficult for him to get away with himself in front of her.
So he applied to go to the sales department, go out to run the business, and reduce the chances of meeting her.
Get along less, but the feelings for her only increase. However, he had no idea what was going on in her mind now. Is it to restrain feelings for him, or to be ruthless to him at all? In the past, it was just to use his liking for her so that he could work for her with a dead heart?
He wanted to quit his job and leave her completely, but he couldn't resolve it, because he was really reluctant to do it. But if you stay in the company, how do you get along with her?
Like but can't get close, leave and can't make up your mind. It's really tangled, it's painful!
"Can you give me a piece of advice, whether I'm going to stay or stay, and how should I deal with our relationship if I stay?" He asked me.
04.
I told him: Rationally, whether to go or stay, the most important thing to consider is not the emotional problem, but the career development, economic income and other practical issues.
If you leave, it has no impact on your personal development, financial situation, and you can find a better job at any time, it doesn't matter, you can go if you want. After leaving, time will always dilute your feelings for her, but it may be painful at first, but the long pain is not as good as the short pain.
However, if leaving will make your career direction confused, the future uncertain, and the economy in crisis, then you must choose carefully and must not be emotional. After all, you have to focus on your own life, your own family.
If you lose your job because you are entangled in a paradoxical relationship, and let your wife and children panic, it is your sin.
If you finally choose to stay, I hope that you will focus on work, and your personal feelings are only a small part, hidden in the heart, rotten in the stomach, as if nothing had happened. After all, you all have a home, and it is impossible to fall in love with the earth and vigorously.
Between you, before it has begun, it has ended, so the best way to deal with it is to look down on it in your heart and go with the flow, so as not to change.
It is also very important that you will not have any results on your own, and if you are too entangled, you will only increase your troubles.
Whether a person likes you or not, you should be able to feel it. If she starts to distance herself, cold, or even target you, it means that she is reluctant to get one step closer to you, hoping that you will find your own place and not overstep the rules. Everyone is an adult, and some of them don't have to be too clear.
After listening to it, he also realized that it was really not worth it to dwell on such immoral feelings. Not to mention whether people have that meaning for him, even if he does, what can he do? Is he going to self-destruct his marriage and family for this relationship?
Impossible, he couldn't. So, why bother with pain? As long as she doesn't embarrass herself at work, it's okay to be safe. If you really get to the point where you have to go, it's not too late to leave.
05.
Meeting a heart-pounding person outside of marriage, wanting to love but not loving, wanting to forget but not forgetting, is indeed a very tiring and painful thing. But in fact, everything is a demon of the heart.
Liking someone is a beautiful thing, and the reason why it is painful is because the subconscious mind has extravagant expectations and wants to get something. Maybe it's the heart, maybe it's the emotion, maybe it's the person. If you don't get it, you suffer.
If you really just simply like a person, you are unconditionally good to him, do not ask for returns, and do not even need him to know. Such a like, there is only beauty, no pain, at most occasional sadness, a little sadness.
And really liking a person, even being sad and sad for him, is also a kind of happiness.
-END-
