In the life after marriage, have you ever had to ask the elderly to help you because of the conflict between your career and family?
Especially asking the elderly to help with the baby, I believe it is a choice that many families and many couples will make. There is no way, the few years when a woman gives birth to a baby happens to be a few years of career strength, if you choose to take care of the child and return to the family, then you will inevitably have to give up your career. Not only that, but it is not so easy for children to return to the workplace when they grow up.
And if you focus on the work, the sense of enterprise can be satisfied, but for the growth of the child and the lack of love and care, as a mother will certainly not be at ease, this time only ask the elderly to help take care of the child, do housework, you can share some pressure for the couple.
Some people say that asking the mother-in-law to help is certainly not a vain request, and will pay her some living expenses, because the old people are also human beings, and they also have their own lives, and there is no obligation to serve the young people. Ken came to help, completely kindly reached out, as a son and daughter-in-law, can not be unaware of the reward.
The fact is indeed so, and only in this way, the old man is kind to help, the younger generation knows how to be grateful, and the family can really get along harmoniously.
But Zhang Yan recently encountered a headache for her, because there was no way to leave her job, Zhang Yan asked her mother-in-law to help bring her 8-month-old son.
Before coming, the mother-in-law also patted her chest to ensure, rest assured, I will definitely bring my grandson white, fat, healthy and healthy.
However, only two months after the mother-in-law came to their house, the son not only did not gain weight, but also lost three pounds. In two months, there were 4 colds alone, and once fell off the sofa, his head hit the corner of the coffee table, and his head broke and bled.
But for the complaints of his son and daughter-in-law, the old man still had a word: "I see it very hard, it is this baby's own physique is not good, how can you blame me?" ”
"At the end of maternity leave, I entrusted my eight-month-old son to my mother-in-law"
In the 4th year of marriage, Zhang Yan and his wife gave birth to a cute boy.
Both of them especially cherish and value this child, during the maternity leave, the husband is busy with work, and it is completely Zhang Yan who pulls the child up with a handful of and a handful of urine.
Soon the maternity leave will end, and the leader often sends her messages to remind her not to forget to go back to work, which means that she is afraid that Zhang Yan will directly resign and not go back.
It is impossible to resign, after all, it is so difficult to find a job now, and this job is very much in line with Zhang Yan's appetite. However, the mother's love flooded, and she really could not rest assured of the child, so she secretly shed tears many times at night, and she did not know what to do.
I also thought about simply asking a nanny to take care of it, but it will cause a great financial burden to the family, and then my husband proposed, otherwise call our mother from the rural hometown, ask her to help with the child, give her 2,000 yuan a month, how?
There is no better way, Zhang Yan nodded and agreed, after some communication, the mother-in-law also readily agreed, she said you rest assured, I am experienced, I must raise my grandson white and fat, absolutely let you rest assured.
So the mother-in-law rushed from her hometown and took over the work of taking the child. Zhang Yan also went back to work with confidence, before the first day of work, she told her mother-in-law several times, the baby at what time to eat milk powder, add a few meals of complementary food every day, urine pulled in time to change diapers and so on.
At that time, the mother-in-law still thought she was long-winded: "My son was brought up by me since he was a child, and didn't he grow up healthy and healthy?" You can go back to work with confidence, this child I will definitely show you well. Not surprisingly. ”
Zhang Yan also knew that she was concerned about the chaos, so she did not say anything more, said thank you to her mother and went out to work, and when she came back from work, she couldn't wait to hug the child, and her heart was also much more solid.
2. "After two months, the child lost three pounds"
After two months of this, after reassuring her mother-in-law, Zhang Yan did not pay attention to how the old man took the child, and her mind slowly returned to work.
But just half a month after work, the child caught a cold. The old man explained that when he carried him downstairs to play, the wind was too strong, it was blowing cold, and it was not easy to think that it was not easy for his mother-in-law to take the child, and Zhang Yan and her husband did not say anything.
Didn't think that this month has not passed, the baby has a cold again, this husband is a little unhappy, complained about the mother twice: Xiao Yan she took the child for 8 months, once sick has not been, how to get into your hands, this is just a month, cold twice?
The mother-in-law was full of displeasure and muttered: Please take the child and ask for so many requirements, how do I know why he is always sick, and he has not gone down to play for two days.
Zhang Yan felt uncomfortable, but she didn't want to clash with her mother-in-law, after all, she still had to trouble the old man with the child, so she didn't say anything more.
But then the child caught a cold twice every three to five, and once fell off the sofa in the middle, and his head just hit the corner of the coffee table, and he suddenly broke his head and bled, and was sent to the hospital for three stitches.
This can make Zhang Yan feel sad, complained about her mother-in-law, and privately discussed with her husband, or don't let her take the child. Husband said, our mother does not bring, or you resign, or do you want to find a babysitter? Zhang Yan was speechless again.
Until that day, because of the power outage in the office building where the company was located, the afternoon temporary notice was half a day off, and Zhang Yan returned home at one o'clock. Pushing open the door, she understood why the child always had a cold, and the baby who was napping was lying on the sofa naked, wearing only a small top and no quilt, while the mother-in-law sat leisurely watching TV.
Seeing that Zhang Yan had returned, the mother-in-law quickly jumped up and said that you were back, why didn't you say a word in advance? This child had just fallen asleep, and he didn't have time to cover him with a quilt, what about the quilt?
Zhang Yan immediately shed tears in pain, and quickly walked up to pick up the baby, and sure enough, her legs were cold. She yelled at her mother-in-law in pain, you are too irresponsible, you are also a mother, is this how you treat my children? From today onwards, the child does not need you to bring, my husband and I will find a way, either to hire a babysitter, or I simply resign.
The mother-in-law was still embarrassed to defend herself there, saying that she usually remembered to cover the quilt, but today she just happened to forget it. Zhang Yan didn't want to hear anything, and said to her mother-in-law: "Once upon a time, I respected you, not only because you were an old man, but also because I helped to bring the baby during this time, so I wouldn't say a lot of excessive words." But I didn't think that's how you treated my child, last week I went to the physical examination, he lost three pounds, at that time I still think there is a problem with the scale. Now I finally know that it is because of your irresponsibility that my baby has suffered so much. ”
Third, if you ask for it, you will be subject to it
Zhang Yan's husband was also very angry after hearing about this matter, and like his wife's thoughts, he no longer let his mother-in-law help with the children, and finally the old man had to return to his hometown alone.
From the beginning to the end, as a grandmother, she is not very concerned about her grandson, no matter how seriously she promises to Zhang Yan and his wife, saying that she will take the child well, but in fact, she just did not take it seriously, otherwise why did Zhang Yan's son lose three pounds in a month, not to mention, and often cold and sick, bleeding and injury?
In other ways it is the same, when you ask for others, it means that you are subject to people. This is also why Zhang Yan had no way to condemn her mother-in-law more about the child's illness and fever at the beginning.
As an old man, no matter what it is, you should have more care and care for your grandchildren. Even if you are not responsible for taking the child, but he is also your child, not someone else's family, from this point of view we have a reason to love him well, not like Zhang Yan's mother-in-law, on the surface, it sounds good, in fact, taking care of the child but hanging Er Lang Dang, napping does not remember to cover a quilt, the harmful child several times three times the cold is not long remembered.
The most taboo for a family to get along is so hidden and inconsistent. Doing so will make people who truly believe in you and truly love you sad, and sometimes once trust is questioned, it's hard to go back to the beginning.
END.
Today's topic: Do you think Zhang Yan should continue to let the elderly take the baby? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.