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For more than a month, because of the epidemic, the babies have been suspended at home, my baby is in a small nursery, the age has just turned 3 years old, children of this age, can not live at home, eat breakfast every day, just play in the community.
Watching these children play, it is very interesting, children are the most direct and simple, they are not like adults, think before doing things, children like is to like, dislike is not to dislike.
There is often a scene where a child says to another child or several children, "Can I play with you?"?
And the answer this kid got was either "Yes" or "I don't want to play with you."
For adults, the answer to this situation is basically the former, but for children, the latter is often the majority, and children are rejected more often.
In the face of rejection, children behave differently.
When faced with rejection, children mainly have the following manifestations:
1. Cry because you are refused
After the child is rejected, the child feels frustrated, can't help but cry, and even move out of the adult, let the adult help to integrate into it.
If the child has such a performance, parents must be patient, patiently communicate with the child, must not be in accordance with the child's meaning, stand up for the child to communicate.
Communicate these aspects with your child: there is no need to cry for this little thing, wipe your tears, if you still want to join, ask why, if you don't want to join, go find other children, as long as you are willing to open your heart, you will be able to make good friends.
2. After being rejected, he said with a look of displeasure: Who is rare
When a type of child is rejected, he will proudly say: Who rarely plays with you.
Children have such a performance, in fact, with the parents will have a little relationship, when the child was rejected for the first time after crying to find the parents, parents said: then do not play with him, who is rare! This has a great impact on the child, and when he is rejected again, the child will also hide his heart in this way.
3. Ask why after being rejected
There is a type of child, as if from a young age has a high emotional intelligence, when rejected, they are not impatient, nor emotions, but chase and ask why, such children will be popular everywhere they go.
Children are very direct and transparent, they reject a person without thinking, and accepting a person is also a matter of seconds.
4. Ask parents "why" after rejection
Another type of child will also ask "why", but the target group is different, the child with high emotional intelligence will ask the child who rejects him why, and this kind of a little timid, the emotional intelligence is also very high, but the children who have not yet let go will ask the parents why.
At this time, the parent's response is very critical, we have to tell the child that it doesn't matter if it is rejected, if you really want to play with them, then ask yourself, if they are not polite, then do not join, if it is because they have done something wrong, then apologize, and then join.
5. Continue to follow after being rejected
There is also a type of child, after being rejected by other children, they do not abandon it and continue to play behind.
Such children lack initiative, lack independence, and are prone to drift.
If your child behaves this way, parents will have to spend some effort on the child and cannot let the child continue like this.
6. After being rejected, a person stands alone
After being rejected by the children, they stood alone on the side, and there were many children who behaved in this way.
If the child has such a performance, parents should also be careful, the child is more pessimistic, not happy enough, parents should find problems from themselves.
When a child is rejected, parents should be guided this way
The performance formed after the child is rejected, of course, is not fixed, nor is it formed in a day, and has a lot to do with the environment.
Children are easily influenced by their peers, easy to follow the trend, coax, but the influence of parents on children can not be ignored.
As mentioned above, when the child is rejected, the parents are full of negative emotions, if you say to the child: Who is rare, we do not play with him! Or do you have to play with him? How come you're so unproductive!
This will have a very bad impact on the child, when the child is rejected after the arrogant saying "who is rare", not to prove that he is really not rare, but to use this negative way to hide the small harm suffered in the heart.
In the long run, children will resist taking the initiative to seek help, and they will become more and more unable to accept rejection.
This is not good for the child's socialization.
For example, when parents berate their children, "Why are you such a waste, why do you have to play with him", the child's originally uninjured heart is hurt, and they will transfer this harm to those who reject them, or really accept the parents' reprimand and think that they are "waste".
When the child is rejected, the parents must be full of positive energy, the parents' relaxed pleasure and positive energy is to tell the child, this is just a small thing, this recognition is very important.
It is the most normal thing for a person to be rejected in a collective life, which is a small thing, but there are some narrow-minded people who will remember hatred in psychology, which will be manifested in human feelings and social interaction over time, and will also affect them to ask for help.
People with high emotional intelligence are not good at helping others, but good at seeking help, and seeking help is a small thing, but once it is determined that rejection is a big thing, then seeking help naturally becomes a big thing that cannot be overcome.
Secondly, to give the child the correct guidance, the emotional tone is right, the rest of the guidance is much simpler, the children are a few seconds of memory, will not carry personal emotions, this will refuse, after a while will play together again, so the parents' emotions are the most important.