What should parents do when a child steals something from someone else?
Many parents will feel that this is a matter of principle, absolutely do not give in, will fiercely educate the child, if the child is still disobedient, then beat the child at all costs.
Of course, parents want to play a deterrent effect on their children by scolding, which is not impossible. But obviously, the gentle approach of another mother is more acceptable to the child and more able to protect the child's self-esteem to the greatest extent.
Some time ago, I saw a small story of a mother educating her child on the Internet, and this 4-year-old baby is a child in the middle class of kindergarten. One day the kindergarten teacher suddenly called the mother and asked the mother to come to the kindergarten immediately, after the mother arrived at the kindergarten.
The kindergarten teacher was very embarrassed and said to the mother, "Your child stole something from his classmates." ”
The mother was stunned at the time, he did not think that his children would steal other people's things, so he asked the teacher, is there any misunderstanding?
The teacher told the mother that there was a little friend in their class who brought a book from home with a lot of beautiful illustrations. Many children like it very much, including this mother's child, after lunch, this child who brought books from home said that the books were missing.
Then the teacher took the monitoring in the class and found that it was the mother's child who had taken the book.
Hearing this, the mother had a general understanding of what had happened, and he asked his child to apologize to the teacher and the child who lost the book, because after all, it was his own "carelessness" that brought extra workload to the teacher and made the child unhappy.
But throughout the process, the mom didn't mention the child stealing books. When she got home, the mother asked her child why she had taken someone else's book without their consent.
The child said, "There are very beautiful pictures in this book, and he wants to bring them back to show their mother." ”
After listening to the child's explanation, the mother felt particularly moved, and the mother told the child that before taking other people's things, it must be approved by others.
In the whole process of education, mothers do not label their children's behavior as "stealing", and this kind of education is not known how many times higher than beating their children.
Daniel J. Siegel said in the book "De-emotional Discipline" that the premise of "discipline" is understanding and empathy, and only by understanding the psychological reasons behind the child's behavior can the symptoms be rationally guided.
For a child under 8 years old, his consciousness does not have the concept of "stealing", when he is interested in a thing, he just wants to watch, or want to play, he has not even established a sense of property rights, how to talk about taking something for himself?
Therefore, when children mistakenly take other people's things, parents should take different ways to treat them according to different situations.
There is no sense of ownership of the item
The famous Swiss psychologist Piaget once said:
A child aged 3 to 6 or even 9 is a period of self-centeredness, when the child often thinks that the world revolves around him.
Children often can't tell which thing is completely their own and which thing is not. In their world, there are only two categories of things in the world, one that I like and one that I don't like.
Therefore, this requires us to exercise and improve the child's awareness of property rights in our daily lives.
In "Mom is Superman", Huo Siyan made a good demonstration to all the mothers. There is a link in the show that requires the child to take his own things to the charity sale, when Hum shows unwillingness, Huo Siyan did not force her son, but told her son: You have the right to decide your own things.
1. Want to let the child have a sense of property rights
Parents must first respect the way their children handle their own belongings, so that children can understand that the difference between their own goods and other people's goods is whether they have the right to deal with them.
2. Can't control wanting to get an item
When the child is slightly older, the sense of property rights is relatively perfect, but there is still the behavior of stealing other people's things, then parents must consider whether the child's psychological problems are at work.
If many children are not psychologically satisfied, they will fill the gap in their hearts by passing or taking it.
If the child is in this situation, parents should reflect on whether in the process of educating their children, is it too harsh on some of the child's behaviors?
Or to put the child in a state of material scarcity for a long time, it is natural for parents to know that the child has some normal material needs. As long as the child's request is legitimate, parents have the choice to meet it, which will make the child get a greater sense of happiness.
When the child is young, there are some bad behaviors, parents do not rush to label the child, so that the child will only develop in the direction of the label, parents should patiently guide the child, and help the child to overcome some psychological obstacles, so that the child can grow up healthy and happy.