Teach you to break the cold violence of men, today's video, it's all about getting along with dry goods! Tell you how to solve the problem of cold violence in your boyfriend! After reading it, I guarantee that the next time you encounter cold violence, you will know how to deal with the other party's emotions!
First of all, you must understand that in the face of cold violence, the more you want to solve the problem, the more you often can't solve the problem.
When a guy is cold and violent to you, you must have a framework and a bottom line, and you can't indulge him.
Many girls will say, I did not condone him, I have a very bottom line, I am because I know that cold violence is not good, do not let him be cold violence against me, so I went to him to ask the root, asked him what he thought of not talking, asked him if he still wanted to be good with me!
In fact, when you go to him for various answers, it shows that you care about him very much. You care how much he values you, what he thinks of you. So even if you really just don't like vague relationships and want a crisp and clean answer, you will be understood by him as liking him and caring about him.
As soon as he's sure you care about him in particular, he thinks cold violence works, and then he'll go ahead and chill you and refuse to communicate, thus achieving his goal: to make you do what he says.
Second, the essence of cold violence is a power game.
When boys are cold and violent, reason prevails, he is fighting for power, especially boys who are often cold and violent, when he starts to be cold and violent, he can't think of how to love you correctly.
The more you want to change the situation, the more you have to let go of those emotional things and treat it as a battle.
As long as you don't break up, once you lose this battle, you have to follow his ideas in the future, otherwise you will double the cold violence, so girls must rationally consider their own interests, don't play the emotional set.
If you are in the early stages of cold violence, he was very kind to you at the beginning, and then he encountered some contradictions, and he used cold violence tactics. I suggest you start by speculating about him with a positive mindset.
Start by taking a positive attitude, tell him how you feel about being coldly violent, and remind him that you are sad to do so, and that this is ruining your relationship.
If he is not moved, then set up his own framework and refuse to be coldly violent. He is cold and violent, you should work and go out to play, send out to play the circle of friends can even show that there are some high-quality opposite sexes in your social network.
Some girls may ask: What if he still ignores me?
Remember, the principle of dealing with cold violence is that we have to put our attitudes out before we can hope to solve the problem.
Only when he recognizes you enough and you put on your attitude can he discover his own problems, his own needs, and then solve them all at once, so that he no longer dares to be cold and violent to you. But boys have formed a certain cognitive bias situation, you must first give the attitude, not the first to pay.
As long as your attitude is firm, he will be shaken in his mind, thinking, is she not like me anymore? Am I doing something wrong? Does she have another goal?
Only when the heart is shaken can the subsequent relationship improve, drag it in little by little, and don't try to solve the problem all at once.
If the cold violence continues for a long time, don't deal with it the way you did when you first encountered cold violence, because he has put himself in a higher position and feels that he can provide you with a lot, and you can't do without him.
That is to say, he did not take you seriously, if you are cold to him, it does not matter whether you are with him or not, then the result must be a breakup.
You think, originally he felt that you needed him in particular, thinking that he was giving you charity with you, then if you didn't have an attitude of maintaining a good relationship, he would definitely not turn his head back.
At this time, if you want to solve the problem, the correct solution is to prove the value.
First of all, reduce the investment and care for him, let him have a sense of gap, and then you can create a male competition object, awaken his desire to conquer and possess, continue to enhance hard value, prove his value, break the original relationship balance, let him realize that your relationship is not what he originally imagined, in fact, he also needs you.
Having said all that, it should also be emphasized that the most effective way to face cold violence is always to be self-sufficient, that is, to be self-loving enough.
The cold violence of the other party is that he is not good, do not deny yourself and doubt yourself because of the shortcomings of others.
In the face of cold violence, let him realize: you can endure his cold violence, you can tolerate the hurt he gives, because you like him, if one day you don't like it, you can leave at any time, don't be unconfident, understand?
Psychological test: Test the sentence your ex most wants to say to you
1. Do you argue over small things when you're together?
Yes, I often feel tired —2
Rarely quarrel over small things—2
Occasionally, but soon reconciled —3
2. Do you think you are a person who likes to self-reflect and is willing to correct mistakes?
Yes —3
Not —4
3. Will he or she take the initiative to tell you his troubles?
It is often said that -5
Not much to say —4
4. Would you tell your parents about the process of your relationship?
Everything is too big or small, and I often complain to my parents -6
Occasionally they ask and say —5
Hardly to say, nothing to say —5
5. Faced with what you want, how much energy are you willing to put into acquiring it?
Everything follows fate, and it is mine in the end--7
Try hard, maybe you can succeed - 6
Do my best, I want to get --B
6. Did you break up because of a third party?
Yes—A
No —7
7. Did the other party take the initiative to contact you after the breakup?
Yes—D
No—C