【Opening Remarks】
On April 10, primary and secondary schools in Guangzhou pressed the "pause button" of offline education, and most students opened a new model of online education for home learning. The new model guarantees the normal and orderly development of school education and teaching work, but the new changes have also brought certain "heart problems". With the continuous extension of the time of online education at home, the psychological problems caused by it have gradually attracted the attention of all parties in society. Taking this as an opportunity, from now on, Nanfang Daily, Nanfang + client and the Guangdong Provincial Committee of the Communist Youth League jointly opened a "in + peace of mind" column on the south + client, which pays attention to hot psychological issues related to adolescent groups, and through inviting senior psychological counselors to give lectures online, taking actual cases as the starting point, analyzing the hidden psychological motivations behind them, providing specific guidance and practical opinions and suggestions, and helping to guide and alleviate psychological problems. Please note.
With the orderly resumption of offline teaching in secondary schools in Guangzhou (except Baiyun District), secondary school students have gradually returned to familiar campuses. However, during the epidemic, many students still conduct online education at home for various reasons. Some parents due to busy work on weekdays, but also to take care of the "god beast" at home, it is inevitable to "rush to the fire", in the face of children's excessive addiction to electronic devices at home, how should parents scientifically guide to help children put their energy into normal learning and life? Xiaonan invites everyone to pay attention to the content of this issue of psychological Q&A, what should children do if they love to play mobile phones at home?
【Case】
Mama Li has a son who is in the fourth grade of primary school and takes online classes at home due to the epidemic. In the past, my son was still very interested in learning, and now it is good, during the period of learning at home, he has become not "cold" to learning, likes to play with mobile phones, sometimes plays at night without sleep, gets up in the morning, and how to say it is useless. Mama Li also wanted to put away the mobile phone, but encountered "stubborn resistance". Mama Li "has a broken mentality", I don't know what to do?
【Analysis】
Why do kids like to play with their phones? According to the information in my possession, there are mainly the following points:
1. Have a lot of time to touch the phone. Because the children were in school before, the school stipulates that they cannot bring mobile phones to school, plus they have to do homework after school, and the time for children to contact mobile phones is less, and parents are not worried. But now that the epidemic is at home, without the discipline of teachers, children have a lot of free time, and the opportunity to contact mobile phones is more.
2. Playing with mobile phones satisfies the child's playful nature. From a psychological point of view, during the epidemic period of children at home, they cannot go out to play, and their lives are relatively monotonous. Mobile phones are easy to obtain, and many software in order to retain "users", are trying to enhance their own attractiveness (irreplaceability), coupled with the child's own playful nature, therefore, as soon as you touch the mobile phone, the child is easily fascinated. In addition, there are also many small designs on the mobile phone that "leave" people's attention on the screen, such as small red dots on unread information, short videos that will automatically play the next one without clicking pause, etc. Mobile games are more attractive to children.
3. Relieves the pressure of learning. Realistically speaking, children are now facing certain learning pressure, especially the children in the graduating class, some children are under pressure, and they can't find a good way to decompress, so they are fascinated by playing mobile phones. Only by playing with your phone will you feel relaxed.
4. Influenced by elders. Now by bus or subway, it is easy to find that the first thing most people do when they get on the bus is to look at their mobile phones. Some people come home from work and even look at their phones while eating. These things that are accustomed to everyone, as everyone knows, have also played a subtle demonstration role for children.
【Suggestion】
First, parents should not be angry when they see their children playing with mobile phones, but should give their children the opportunity to contact the digital world.
Without affecting your child's learning, you can accompany your child to explore the secrets of the phone and see what they play. Because sometimes children play mobile phones not all games, it may be collecting information, or communicating with classmates online to learn. Even if you see your child playing with your phone, show your understanding. It is recommended that you can communicate with children in this way: "I also understand that you like mobile phones, in fact, we are the same, sometimes do not brush mobile phones, you feel disconnected from society, but the stage you are currently in is different from me, so I especially want to hear your ideas, and how to use mobile phones reasonably." ”
Second, after buying a mobile phone, parents can first tell their children that although the mobile phone is a good thing, if there is no protection from the rules, it will harm others and harm themselves.
Parents should be under the premise of mutual respect, patiently consult with the child, and the child together to formulate a mobile phone use rules, which can be written on the so many, mobile phone can not be on the dining table, can not be brought into the bathroom, can not be brought into the bedroom, especially can not be brought to bed, after 9 o'clock in the evening can not play and so on. Everyone then signed it in earnest and expressed their approval of the agreement. With the rules, the child's behavior will also be subject to certain constraints.
The third is to ask children to do it, and parents must first do it. During the consultation, the author encountered some parents who said that their children could not do without mobile phones. I'll ask, can you turn on your phone? What are you looking at when you ask your child not to look at the phone? Rules cannot be made only for children and not for parents. Otherwise it would be unfair. If parents really can't leave the mobile phone due to work needs, they must also explain it clearly to their children and get their children's understanding and support.
The fourth is to pay attention to fully tapping the positive resources of children and giving more affirmation. From a psychological point of view, everyone has positive resources, but most of us parents ignore them. For example, if you also see children playing with mobile phones, if you say in general: "You will only play with mobile phones in the room." "The child will not be convinced. And if you say something like, "I went to your room six times today and only saw you playing with your phone four times." This shows that you can still control yourself. "Such an encouraging, positive approach can sometimes lead to unexpected results.
Fifth, actively create a consultative family. According to the "Youth Internet Literacy Education Reader" released by the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, children in four types of families are more likely to use the Internet excessively, that is, families with few parent-child activities, parents resisting the Internet, rough education, and lack of paternal education. Because the negotiated family is not the parent alone, the parent-child relationship becomes more harmonious, the parents are more able to understand the child's ideas, and the child is more willing to listen to the parents' opinions or suggestions, and the child will not indulge in playing mobile phones.
This article is written by Yang Fengding, senior psychological counselor and general supervisor of psychological counseling in Guangdong Province 12355 Adolescent Comprehensive Service Platform. Yang Fengding is a member of the Communist Party of China, a retired judicial police officer in Shanghai, and a national second-level psychological counselor. He has been engaged in psychological counseling since 2003, and has given training lectures for counselors in Beijing, Xi'an, Yunnan and Henan, and has authored the book "Psychological Correction of Lawbreakers".
[Reporter] Chen Li
【Author】 Chen Li
【Source】 Southern Press Media Group South + client
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