How to make stress a catalyst for children's growth?
——Ten Films of Parent-Child Education" "Galaxy Tuition Class" (Series 5)
What does the child's "son" represent?
How to look at children now
Problems with excessive learning pressure?
How to make stress a catalyst for children's growth?
A story, a life. Multi-angle viewing, multi-dimensional viewing. Learn to watch movies and realize life. Welcome to the Puzzle Planet "Movie Theory" column, let us find the key to happiness through the "Galaxy Tuition Class" of the ten films of parent-child education.
Question: In the film, Ma Fei gave up studying at Tsinghua Peking University, decisively chose his hobby, and eventually became a world-renowned astronaut, ideally turning his hobby into his own "food Lu", but in real life, can interests develop into a guarantee for future life? Wouldn't that be a bit too idealistic?
Explanation: This is also where there is a lack of middle ground in the film. Generally speaking, our human life composition has three attributes: the first is a natural attribute, interest belongs to the natural attribute, also known as habit and disposition; the second is a social attribute, which is socially planned and led by the mainstream of society and social civilization; the third is a spiritual attribute. These three attributes are superimposed, and none of them can be avoided, they must all be faced.
Our hobbies belong to natural attributes, some of which may be well integrated into social attributes, and may also be contrary to the entire social trend, at this time there will be a run-in between natural attributes and social attributes, just like many people want to learn well on the one hand, and on the other hand, they have to overcome their own greedy habits.
Snoozing, gluttony, good and bad work, etc. are all natural attributes, which we must overcome, and we cannot completely follow our own natural attributes, otherwise we are likely to be punished by social attributes. Many people spend a lot of energy in their lifetime to run between natural and social attributes.
Society has social norms and systems, of course, this norm is not necessarily the truth, because the social attributes of each period are different. What is the humanistic disposition at different stages, what is the promotion at this stage, what is the aesthetic at this stage, and what are the criteria for success at this stage? Society as a whole is fluid and changes over time.
If you want to integrate into the society to survive better, you must understand the current and future trends of this society, enter the value system of this society, and obtain our sense of existence, value and honor in the future development. These are the ones that parents need to guide their children in family education.
Children are definitely not simply believing and encouraging, but leading. This is also the current situation of many homeschooling: either stocking - I completely trust you to do whatever you want, you can do whatever you want; or captivity - I don't trust you, you have to listen to me. Objectively speaking, all of this is contrary to the spirit of the Middle Way.
Let's look at the last one: thumb, the chinese character for "thumb", which means "mother of the finger". The other fingers of man have three sections, only the thumb is two sections, this arrangement is wonderful, if there is only one section, it cannot be coordinated with the other four fingers, if there are also three sections, it will be weak. The thumb can not only move independently, but also touch most of the palm, and can also cooperate with all fingers to complete various movements.
This reflects the self-worth realization needs of every soul in life that wants to succeed, and every life wants to experience the feeling of becoming the boss in a certain field. The father is to show the child the power and the function of the winning character, that is, the function of the thumb.
Question: Parents want their children to succeed in the future. In the film, the mother told Ma Fei that "I can't get into Tsinghua Peking University, I will sell pancakes downstairs", and I also want to play the function of the thumb to the extreme, but this will also cause great pressure on the child's learning, how to recognize and understand the problem of excessive pressure on the child's learning?
Solution: Children must have pressure, and pressure is necessary to constantly challenge themselves, gain life growth, and achieve potential breakthroughs. Imagine what a soul wants to experience when it comes to the world.
From the origin and evolution of Chinese characters, the hieroglyphic character of the word "匀" originated from the small seal, which resembles a baby in swaddling, revealing a head, hands and feet are bound in it, bent and twisted together, and cannot be straightened.
Although the "Explanation of Words" says that this "has" is a baby, in essence, it is about the part of personality and spiritual strength, if a person's mental state is still in infancy, he will experience pressure, feel unsatisfactory everywhere, and be bound everywhere. Only in this kind of pressure, through continuous training, morale and willpower can be stronger.
Under the pressure, the explosive force is brewed, in order to stand up and spread the wings, and as soon as the wings are opened, it is a state of Kong Wu's strength, which is called "zi".
This "son" is also a symbol of the realm of the saints, such as Lao Tzu, Confucius, mencius, Chinese conferred the title of person whose spiritual realm has reached a state of perfection.
Our child is born as a "child", that is, he has already affirmed his identity, and he will be sanctified in the future. To raise children is to set the direction from an early age, to teach with the standards of saints. The standard of the saint is definitely not a simple moral standard, not the so-called "good person" in our minds, but an individual with a complete personality, a spiritual independence, and a complete life, which can reflect the strength of the saint and the freedom of the saint to walk in the world.
Therefore, family education should have a preaching function, so that children to become holy and virtuous as the goal, before they enter the society, they will be tempered and polished in spirit and will, parents should guide children to grow in the process of challenging themselves, while experiencing a sense of winning.
Children have lofty goals from an early age, and if they want to become a hero, they will bravely challenge difficulties. Not under the persecution of parents, but the child willingly to break through their own limits, take the initiative to put pressure on themselves, their soul is very happy, very transparent, this positive pressure is the catalyst for the growth of children.
But in real life, the child's pressure often does not come from this, Chinese parents face social, economic, interpersonal relations and other aspects of the general pressure, in the process of buying a car, buying a house, looking for a job, want to achieve the goal of freedom in life and other goals and efforts, the pressure will appear anxiety, and then the anxiety projected on the child, will form a huge pressure on the child.
Now, the learning status of many children is that parents blindly let children do problems, blindly require children to have high scores, which comes from the anxiety of parents and the transfer of work pressure, that pressure is depressed, helpless, is tied hands, not only will not motivate children to grow, but will lead to depression.
Therefore, parents want to play the role of thumbs up and guide their children to success, but also reflect on their own way and attitude towards their children, and do not become a projection of personal crisis. Blindly wanting children to succeed, blindly only thinking about making more money, blindly pursuing the royal way, only paying attention to the function of the thumb and ignoring the function of other fingers, you will lose the middle way.
We mentioned earlier that family education should grow and improve from the three levels of children's natural attributes, social attributes and spiritual attributes at the same time, in fact, these five fingers are the epitome. Just like the globe that Ma Haowen gave to Ma Fei in the movie, these five fingers are also the globe given to us by heaven. The ultimate goal of parents is to play the role of these five fingers and guide their children to complete their lives at the three levels of natural attributes, social attributes, and spiritual attributes.
A good family education, in addition to understanding the mystery of the five fingers, must also recognize the six realms of relationship and interaction between parents and children. The "Galaxy Tuition Class" series of ten films of parenting education (6) will take you to continue to explore the mysteries, so stay tuned...
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