What does the child need?
Teacher XiaoGao said that we should have a good learning attitude; Director Yan said that we should have good academic achievements; Ma Fei's mother said that she should have a good university degree; Ma Fei said that she wanted to...
No, Ma Fei didn't know what he wanted.
In his immature youth, without guidance, he simply could not discover what he really needed in his heart.
At the moment when Ma Fei was most confused and the worst, Ma Haowen returned. The father, who had been absent for seven years, was reintegrated in his son's development.
In this way, Ma Haowen, who was a father for the first time, took his son to embark on the "road of tuition" together.
He kept stressing to Ma Fei that "you are the smartest child on this earth", not to tell us that blind trust can change everything, but to tell us that self-confidence is the beginning of change;
He made a bet in front of everyone, not to tell us to be quick for a while, but to tell us that never accept defeat is the greatest courage;
He took Ma Fei on leave to travel to see the exhibition, not to tell us to respond to the needs of children, but to tell us to find the dream of life to have sustained motivation;
······
Ma Haowen told Ma Fei not to be labeled by others, only you can define yourself; learning is not the goal, but the process;
Only by finding the target of your dreams can your daily efforts be meaningful; and never stop thinking and never admitting defeat.
Galaxy cram school, not only the knowledge, but also the method of learning; not only the content of the classroom, but also the vision of life; not only the improvement of academics, but also the growth of the heart.
He tried to use his own experience and his own actions to explore Ma Fei's inner needs, and then tried to fill it - the love of the family, the ability to think independently and the courage to face difficulties.
And these all come from a sound, healthy independent personality, which is what children really need.
In fact, what Ma Fei is missing is exactly what most of our children are missing. Unfortunately, not every parent is Ma Haowen.
At the beginning of life, when every baby is born, they know what they want.
When you are hungry, you will cry, when you are full, you will sleep, when you are cold, you will scream, and when you are hot, you will make trouble. It's instinctive, and it's an unpolished need.
What did my parents do at that time?
Parents always do their best to listen, judge the needs of their babies, and also seriously meet them, so that the child feels satisfied and safe.
Since when, we began to replace the child's "I think" with "I think", and we replaced the child's needs with our needs, the needs of society.
When it is much more denied, the children gradually lose their own thoughts, and they seem to live in an illusory world, walking step by step.
They seem to get what we think is the best, but they lose themselves.
More and more serious "education involution" has infinitely aggravated competition, higher and higher employment requirements continue to release pressure, more and more anxious parents kill red eyes, and children eventually become "learning machines".
If a society measures a person's ability by academic qualifications rather than qualities, if a parent uses grades rather than interest to make demands on children, a child only has books and loses the outside world.
This is not a progress in education, but a regression in education.
Enough children have been abandoned under the "fraction theory", and enough children have been sacrificed under "high-pressure education".
A high degree does not mean high quality, and a repressed life may not be able to withstand a little setback.
The "Peking University Wu Xie Yu Murder Mother Case" and countless cases of being overwhelmed by the burden of study and choosing to live lightly are still vividly remembered. Ma Fei, who once gave up on himself, and the provincial yuan, who was driven crazy by the failed score, are just the epitome of countless tragedies.
It is true that educational anxiety is the result of a combination of institutions, society, schools, and families.
Institutions, societies and schools, we don't need to confront, we can't fight.
Others can't change, we can only change ourselves.
As the first teacher and the first door of protection for children's growth, parents must play this important role.
What parents should do is to stimulate their children's interest, explore their children's talents, respect their children's choices, guide when their children are confused, encourage when they retreat, and let go when they move forward.
Let go of the tightly held line in your hand and let the child soar freely in his own sky.
It doesn't matter if you fall, we just need to embrace with open hands when they turn back to you.
Let children replace dependence with independence, obedience with thinking, and gratitude instead of taking.
Grow up in love and frustration and shape a sound, healthy independent personality.
The solution to the problem is more important than the solution, and the courage to overcome the difficulty is more important than the victory over the difficulty.
Everyone's life will eventually have to go on their own, and what parents can give is the courage and ability of children to walk alone.
There are many more important things besides the scores; there is every important present moment besides the exams.
Together, they formed a life, a life that was only once.
We have missed our own golden age, and we must never miss the golden age of our children again.
Feel it with your heart and you will hear the answer.