Observing a few of my friends around me, I found that their husbands or boyfriends were particularly kind to them.
Some talked for a long time, not only did not separate because of the lack of freshness, but with the increase of time, the feelings became deeper and deeper.
I was thinking, what makes their partners love them more and more?
Later, I found that the girls who make men reluctant to break up have these abilities!
01
Have the confidence not to be afraid of breaking up
These friends of mine are invariably independent, both financially and spiritually.
They all have their own careers, and they can buy what they want to buy.
They also do not lack love, do not need to rely on boys to bring them emotional value and security.
And their minds are often focused on themselves or careers, and in their perception, their partners are only a part of life.
They don't ask their partner every day what they're doing, what they're busy with, why they don't send themselves a message;
They will not order the other party to buy things for themselves, and they will not urge each other to go home over and over again when the other party goes out to socialize.
In the words of these friends: "After falling in love, we should also give each other space and freedom, I should not lose myself because of love, and he should not lose the right to relax because of love." ”
However, they will give each other preventive injections in advance, and it is okay to go out to socialize, but they must keep their bottom line and do not do things that should not be done to hurt them.
Once they find out, there is basically no room for recovery in this relationship.
So one by one, my friends' partners came back not long after they went out at night, and even if they didn't come back, they had to send them a message, let alone do something to hurt them.
Men are actually very smart, when you are not afraid of losing him, the more you have the confidence to break up, they will not do cheating, domestic violence and other things that hurt feelings.
Because they know that once they do, they have no chance of redemption.
On the other hand, those girls who are afraid of boys abandoning them every day often have a bad ending.
Why is that?
Girls who are afraid of losing are either financially or mentally independent.
If a guy doesn't love you very much, he can't keep spending the money he earns on you.
What's more, when you reach out and ask him for money, the status of the two of you is already out of balance.
We need to understand that you take the initiative and he takes the initiative to give are two concepts.
Girls who are not mentally independent often need a boy to fill their missing souls.
Such a girl will pay attention to each other every day, control each other, threaten each other without a word, and even let the other party give her 100% love.
But what boy can always love 100% of the time?
After all, no one else is obligated to fill in the missing part of her heart.
02
There are hermaphrodite traits
I used to have a misunderstanding about feelings, always thinking that women should be stronger, and men can love you more and be more afraid of you.
But it's not, because gentleness is always more useful than being strong.
I've read a sentence that makes a lot of sense:
"Girls can have their own pursuits, their own careers, but don't think about being stronger than men."
Weak is the strongest, remember, no matter how successful your career is, you always have to remember a little:
You are a small woman, a little woman who needs the care and love of a man, and you succeed just to make him more successful.
Deeply believed, gentleness is a unique advantage that women are born with more than boys, so what we have to do is to learn to use this advantage, rather than being stronger than each other every day.
In the world of feelings, even if you are stronger than the other party, what can you do?
You must know that although water is not harder than stone, it can penetrate stones, which is actually the truth.
Of course, the meaning of gentleness is not to let you do nothing, nothing, only rely on men.
The right thing to do is to rely on yourself and make yourself stronger when he's not around.
And when he is around, you have to learn to rely on him, need him, be the little woman around him, instead of taking everything in the big bag and making him afraid of you and not want to go near you.
On this point, none of my friends are like this.
They are very smart, never stronger than their boyfriends, but use soft methods to make them willingly pay for themselves.
This is also a truth I learned from my friends.
03
There are many styles of their own
My friends can make their partners like themselves more and more, in addition to the above two points, there is also another ability is that they can be changeable.
What does that mean? That is, they can be salty and sweet, gentle or powerful, humorous or rational, sober, and occasionally emotional.
They show each other different types of themselves, which causes them to feel that their girlfriends are different from other girls.
They always have a feeling that they don't understand them thoroughly, because they always bring unexpected surprises and changes to themselves.
That's why I advise girls not to maintain a trait all the time in their relationship.
Because people like freshness, when the image you keep in front of him has not changed, over time, he will feel bored.
Therefore, you must have different qualities, so that he can't see through you, so that he always wants to explore you.
After all, a man is born with a strong desire to explore, and when he always wants to explore you, then his attention must be on you.
Who has the heart to pay attention to other girls?
04
Have the ability not to be pinched
Finally, it's important that they often send a signal to their boyfriends in their relationships: You're not pinching me, and you don't want to pinch me.
For example, one of my friends, if two people have a conflict and the boyfriend wants to coldly and violently attack her, she will never compromise.
She doesn't act like "why don't you look for me" and tell the guy she can't live without him.
It's "You love to find or not, you look for me, I will give you the steps, you don't look for me, I will not beg you to come back." ”
Of course, this is under the premise that the boy is doing something wrong.
If they do something wrong, they will take the initiative to admit it, and they carry it very clearly.
When the other party understands that he can't hold her, he naturally doesn't dare to give in, but is afraid of her leaving.
If you want the other party to love you more and more and be reluctant to break up with you, then you must not be held by him to death.
You think, once you are pinched by him, it means that you have to think about everything for him, and you are afraid that he will leave.
Will he still cherish you then? Will you still be good to you with your heart? Obviously not.
Why do some girls, the better the man, the more afraid of the man leaving, the faster and more determined the man goes?
It is because they know that they have pinched the other party, so they dare to do things that hurt each other unscrupulously.
Because he knows that even if he does, the other party will forgive him.
In fact, one of the secrets of wanting men to be reluctant to leave you and love you more and more is:
Don't care so much about whether he loves you or not, you just have to love yourself and care about whether you are happy or not.
If you feel unhappy in this relationship, don't have illusions about him, be sure to leave decisively.
When you do this, he will care about you and love you.
Sometimes feelings are like this, and when you want to break your head and make him how to love you, he is getting farther and farther away from you.
You don't care so much about whether he loves you or not, he will stick to you more and more.
Author | Nancy Anhui University master of translation, through the ministry of personnel third-level translation, in-depth research in the field of gender emotions, good at finding problems from emotions and solving problems, so that more people are aware, become a better self.